


The Eyes (Brought Me To You)

by Mayaismaya



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M, The Eyes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 65,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8237233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayaismaya/pseuds/Mayaismaya
Summary: Kim Sunggyu was a gifted young male, blessed from the Heaven The Eyes which can foresee the future, a 7th sense. He had foreseen a lot, and saved a lot. He took pride of what he was doing for those who needed him, the pride then turned to something ugly, and it consumed the once so innocent heart. Sunggyu changed in the eyes of his family and friends. Yet it only took one foreseeing and a turn of event to twist a destiny, a destiny he never thought would take a part of his world away, a destiny that was meant to be changed.To save a life, Kim Sunggyu lost his eyes. And along his eyes, he also lost his purpose of life. Snippets:Sunggyu was just about to make a little comment about Sungyeol being wrong and that he wasn’t as handsome as he had made him out to be. But that little hesitance in the guy’s step as he moved forward was suspicious. Sunggyu’s heart almost ripped out of his chest when he noticed how suicidal the handsome guy was when he finally decided to cross the road despite the traffic light still glowing red.“Shit.”





	1. When it slips through

#  When it slips through 

Kim Sunggyu had always known that he was indeed one of the blessed beings on this Earth. He had always known it the moment he understood the gift of his eyes, of what they could do and what they could bring. Kim Sunggyu was born with a 7th sense.

At the age of four when he had learnt to speak phrases, Sunggyu’s parents had brought him to a hospital in worries because they had thought that their son was hallucinating every time he had voiced out or described strange things that never really happened. It was only after 6 months later did they come to understand that no, it wasn’t like they never really happened. They just didn’t happen yet.

At the age of eight when Sunggyu had barely begun to learn to differentiate right from wrong, Sunggyu had vowed that he would use the blessing he gained since birth for the good of the people around him. All due to a certain girl whose life was saved when he had told their teacher that she didn’t know how to swim and that her safety life jacket was malfunctioning. An hour later, the boat she had sat on became unstable when two boys had fought on top of it and the boat unfortunately flipped over, almost causing heart attacks when the kids on board were thrown into the lake. Luckily no one was harmed that day and the mother had rewarded Sunggyu with a box of chocolate for saving her daughter.

At an older age of 17 when Sunggyu had finally learnt what liking and crushing on people had entailed, Sunggyu had saved himself from the pain of heartbreak when he had foreseen the future of his crush, which definitely did not include a Kim Sunggyu in the picture. It was then when he realized that he not only could save others from their troubles but also himself. Sunggyu couldn’t even be more thankful than he already was for sparing himself from the pain and grief before he could delve deeper into the world of love and heartbreak. Sunggyu learnt to be careful next time.

And now that he was finally in college at the age of 23, Sunggyu could only blissfully drown himself in the sea of praises he earned from his mates as he began developing his reputation by helping those who seek for his help. He had even heard some people calling him _“The Eye Opener”_ and _“The Luck Leaf”_ for all the good fortunes he had brought them. He never thought that it was true because all he did was tell them clues and hints. What happened next in the future only depended on the choices and decisions they made with the puzzle pieces that he had given them. 

Yet as time went on, little by little, Sunggyu found himself indulged and proud for helping these poor people. He just couldn’t avoid the disease of the mind growing in his heart as we all know that pride and ego always walk hand in hand. The pool of praises, the look of awe and respect, the grateful gestures, they had all but feed on his ego. And then, at the age of 25, Sunggyu had changed. Modesty had long been hidden behind the proud features of his foxy look. Kindness was masked behind the rewards he had never refused anymore. And sympathy was kept locked and never resurfacing as he could no longer feel nor show the concern now that he was so used to people’s misfortunes.

And Sungyeol definitely did not like the difference Sunggyu had come to.

“Yah, Kim Sunggyu.” Sungyeol hissed as he pulled the elder aside, giving the poor girl some time and space to let everything sink down.

What? The question was evident on Sunggyu’s expressionless feature despite not voicing it out as he dragged himself along with Sungyeol’s pull.

“Can’t you be even a slightest bit considerate towards her?” The taller guy frowned as he took a short glance at the sobbing girl, who deliberately tried her best to wipe the streaming tears.

“What’s wrong with what I said?” Sunggyu lowered his voice, his eyebrows dryly connected in confusion.

“You just told her that it’s her sister’s destiny to die early and that she can’t do anything about it!” Sungyeol had almost raised his voice if not because they were in public. He knew many of them were watching them, trying to quench their curiosity as they witnessed the tears and sobs the girl had let out. Sungyeold had no intention to brew more troubles than they already had.

“But it’s the truth anyway. Her sister has leukaemia! What need is there to lie and sugar-coat my words to her?” It wasn’t like Sunggyu didn’t want to admit that Sungyeol might’ve been right about it, but Sunggyu just couldn’t understand the reason he had to do so. What good would it bring if it were only going to hurt the girl later had he lied about it?

Sungyeol scoffed. “Still, that’s not the way to break the news to her! You could’ve phrased it better than that!” Sungyeol had wished what he had said would finally reach the older but the scowl on his face had definitely told him otherwise.

“Why would that matter? It’s the hard truth anyway and she still has to accept it sooner or later.” Sungyeol had to sigh at Sunggyu’s painful indifference.

“Seriously, why do I even bother to explain that to that stone cold heart of yours.” Sungyeol had given up; he had so since a year ago when he understood how empty the older had turned out. They kept the silence still around them until the girl suddenly came into their view, her face hinted of the traces of tear strains.

“Sunggyu-ssi.” Her voice was quiet and hoarse, a proof that she had been wringing her eyes out while Sunggyu and Sungyeol had bicker just awhile ago.

“Thank you.” She whispered softly, her pupils dilated as she avoided Sunggyu’s blank stare although a small, resigned smile was apparent on her cracked lips. Sunggyu had to frown at the sudden and unexpected word. He just delivered a blow to her heart, and yet he was earning another thanks from her. _Why?_ Sunggyu just couldn’t comprehend that.

“I’ve long known that my sister is ill, I’ve suspected that. Though I never really thought that it would be that deadly. I thought I was ready to find out, that’s why I came here looking for you. But it turned out that I wasn’t actually that ready. It’s fine though. Now that I know it, I’ll be sure to treasure her more. I’m going to spend more time with her. So that’s why, thank you so much, Sunggyu-ssi, for this chance you gave me. I can at least live with no regrets after this. Thank you.” The explanation was long, the gratitude was evident and the words were so sincere that Sunggyu found himself smiling albeit for a short moment. He didn’t say a word though. He didn't know what to say even if he wanted to. So he just nodded and waved. He had received the message and Sungyeol dared hope that her words would reach Sunggyu today. He wanted the older to know, to learn back what he had forgotten. He missed the old Kim Sunggyu so very much.

 

It was after the poor girl had bowed and left to rush home when Sungyeol finally decided to break the silence hanging aroung them

“So…. Are we going home now?” He asked as he gathered his things into his bag. Sunggyu nodded his head. The sun was setting and he was tired from all the foreseeings he had done for the day. He wished he wouldn't have to see another one that day.The foreseeing might be easy to do, but to cope with every feelings they brought was _exhausting_. He needed to get away from them, he wanted to forget them even for a brief while. Sunggyu was then reminded of that old rusty music store downtown. The corner of his lips curled into a small smile.

“But before that, let’s drop by the music store.” He mentioned, slinging the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he walked down the stairs beside the younger male.

“I know. Isn’t that what we always do every day?” Both of them chuckled as they walked the short distance.

“Yah, I’ve been meaning to ask. You always frequent that store and always buy one CD a day no matter old or new. Why is that?” The younger was curious. He had accompanied the other ever since they started high school and he had never missed to grab a CD from the same store. It’d be a lie if he said he had never been curious about it. Yet all Sunggyu did was shrugged his shoulders and smiled, leaving the question unanswered. Sungyeol grunted at the lack of response from the smaller male. He wanted to mope and sulk, wanted to force an answer because surely there was a reason why Sunggyu had refused to answer but the ringing of a phone had stopped him from doing just that. Sungyeol scoffed. _Of course._

Sunggyu then fished the gadget out of his pocket and sighed when he saw the caller ID. He pressed the green button anyway.

“Yes?" His answer was polite despite the rolling of eyes he sported. "Ah, another foreseeing?”

What's new with this girl? Sunggyu had thought but remained quiet about it. “What do you want to know this time? Okay, let’s see each other tomorrow. Just bring me some cans of tuna in exchange. Alright, have a nice day, Missha.”

“Cans of tuna? Seriously, Sunggyu?” Sungyeol had rolled his eyes this time. Sunggyu could only chuckle at his judging tone.

“Well, I’m sorry that I actually love eating tuna sandwich.” He laughed.

“If you’re going to charge for the foreseeing, you should’ve go big and demanded money you know. Even better. You can even buy fresh salmon!” Sungyeol exaggerated.

“Dude, money doesn’t last forever.” Sunggyu elbowed the taller's ribs, smirking when he saw the annoyed look etching on the other's face.

“So does cans of tuna.” He retorted and that had Sunggyu laughing out loud this time.

“Point taken.” Sungyeol laughed along. Finally, Sunggyu could take a break from all the exhaustion his life was dumping him.

They both halted walking at the usual intersection as the light turned red for the pedestrians. His sharp eyes quietly followed the speeding cars, sometimes even trailing at the pedestrians across the road. Sunggyu loved observing, staring, looking. He found it very compelling, fulfilling even as he made out some habits out of these strangers. Like how he was now staring at the elder woman across the street, her hand shaking as she supported herself on the hand stick, engaging in a small talk with a young lad beside her who actually looked disinterested. She probably liked making small conversations. Unfortunately the other lad did not. Poor old lady being ignored.

“Yah.” A jab on his ribs was all it took to tear Sunggyu’s eyes away from the familiar scene in front of him.

“What?” He knitted his eyebrows, disliked being jabbed. Sungyeol’s finger was strangely painful when he did that. Sungyeol immediately pointed out a guy from the other side of the street, eyes and head tilting discreetly as he didn’t exactly plan to be found out staring at a stranger. It didn't take long before Sunggyu understood what the taller had meant to do and so he scanned the crowd in front of him and frowned when he couldn’t locate the pointed guy.

“Which one?”

“The one with the white hoodie, brown hair, sharp features. Handsome.” Sungyeol gladly panned out the details for him. Sunggyu scanned the crowd once again and his eyes finally spotted the right one.

“Totally my type.” Sungyeol added another remark. Sunggyu then took a longer look this time because he just couldn’t seem to see just how could Sungyeol thought that the other was good-looking. Sunggyu thought that he was only average, not exactly attractive either. The guy seemed nervous though. He kept glancing between his wristwatch and the traffic light. He was probably running late for something important. But there was nothing on him that would ignite a spark of attraction that somehow had attracted the Lee Sungyeol - the Lee Sungyeol who had a massive crush on the Kim Myungsoo.

Sunggyu was just about to make a little comment about Sungyeol being wrong and that he wasn’t as handsome as he had made him out to be. But that little hesitance in the guy’s step as he moved forward was suspicious. Sunggyu’s heart almost ripped out of his chest when he noticed how suicidal the handsome guy was when he finally decided to cross the road despite the traffic light still glowing red.

“Shit.” Sunggyu cussed out when he heard the long honk. Yet, before he could even shout to warn the guy, a black car screeched on the road, slowing but not stopping. Everything was too fast yet Sunggyu saw it all. He heard the loud thudding as something solid met the car. He saw a body thrown back, rolling on the road until it stopped meters away, red hot liquid slowly pooling on the tarred ground.

Sunggyu’s breathe hitched as his eyes spotted the lithe and lifeless body. He was a second too late—

“Sunggyu!!” His head snapped back, tears pooling at the brim of his eyes and sweats forming on top of his forehead. His breath was erratic. His heartbeat was rabid.

“Sung—Sungyeol.” His eyes were clear with fear. His body was trembling.

“Yah, Kim Sunggyu!” Sungyeol had called him out again when he never gets the respond he wanted other than the call of his name.

“Yah, did you even listen to what I told you?”

“Wha-what?” Sunggyu was startled. He blinked his glistening eyes, the tears still hanging at the corner of his eyes.

“I just told you about that handsome guy! Where were you? In Paris?” Sungyeol joked. He must have missed the terror in Sunggyu’s eyes as he kept on grinning like a stupid tree.

“Hand-handsome guy..?” Sunggyu repeated quietly until he dreadfully snapped his head back to the direction of the said boy. He let out a breathe of relief when he saw the boy still safe and sound.

It didn’t happen yet. He thought. He was relieved. It didn’t happen yet but it was about damn to when he noticed that unsubtle glance towards the wristwatch and the traffic light from the corner of his eyes. Sunggyu then turned his head to look for the car, and saw it.

That black sporty car. That damned car.

Sunggyu didn’t know what had consumed him at that moment but before he knew it, he had dashed out and onto the road. The traffic light was obviously still glowing red, the black car definitely still approaching and never slowing down; and the unfortunate male was clearly still oblivious to the approaching car and the frantic Sunggyu.

“Yah! Sunggyu!” He had heard Sungyeol’s frenzied voice from the back of his head, he had heard the shouts from the on-lookers but all Sunggyu could see was the oblivious male’s hurried steps as he began crossing the road. Sunggyu hoped he was fast enough. Sunggyu hoped he could run faster. Sunggyu hoped he could reach further. He had hoped, until he saw the look of surprise etching on the other’s sharp feature. The guy had stopped walking in the middle of the street as he stared at Sunggyu, confused. And Sunggyu prayed harder this time so that his legs would run even faster.

Then he heard that long honk again, this time in reality. And everything was a still blur as it all happened so excruciatingly slow. He was so close to the stunned male so Sunggyu extended out his arms to reach him. He pounded all his strength into his arms as he forced the guy out of the way—the boy thrown and landed with force against the tarred road, scrapping his skin with blood oozing out. Sunggyu turned around at the last minute with heavy breathing, only to see a destiny changing.

He heard tyres screeching terribly before sudden pain invaded his head and body. And then came the darkness as it enveloped his world.

“SUNGGYU!!!”


	2. The thread of fate

# The thread of fate 

Half of Sunggyu’s world had ceased the day he had removed the bandage on his left eye. A jagged line of scar had crossed on top of the eye, somehow now a reminder for him that he had just survived a death or life situation. But the scar wasn’t what had made him broken and empty. The blank page on one side of his vision _did_. His mother had cried endlessly that day when Sunggyu had told the doctor that he couldn’t see— that at least half of his vision was void of objects, of people, of anything. None. It was a total blank on one side. His poor mother had shed streams of tears for him but no, Sunggyu hadn’t cried. He was trying to stay optimistic. He had told himself that it would only be temporary, that it would definitely come back. He had believed so, but it had already been three weeks since he promised himself that. Yet the hope was still left unanswered even when he was being discharged home.

 _It's okay_ , he had thought. _He still had The Eyes._ He had told himself again and again. He will be fine. He had tried to convince his wavering heart. He did everything he could to believe, to stay strong, to hope, but another week had passed since then. Yet there was still no vision, no rolling pictures in his head, no foreseeing. He had foreseen nothing, saw only a hazy future he had no grasp on. He had tried. He had forced himself to focus, to concentrate. Maybe he would see one then.

_Useless._

His effort had only dumped reality on him. There was no _The Eyes._ Sunggyu was scared. He feared the change that it would bring. His entire life, he had had The Eyes to lead him, to help and guide him and the others. So when the thought that he could have lost the one thing that had made up his entire life, what else could he feel other than fear, anguish and pain?

 _No, he would be alright. He still had The Eyes._ He forced himself to believe it this time. _He’s going to be fine._ He wanted himself to believe that so bad, but he just couldn’t. He was feeling restless, his chest was heavy and grave that one particular night. He didn’t know why and he hated that dread feeling of the unknown. That night, he had felt the need to speak what had been crawling in his head. So he had called Sungyeol over.

Sungyeol had been sleeping over at his place almost every day ever since he had returned home. That night, he came over again with a huge bag pack full of only junk foods and only a small portion for clothes. He had wanted them to get drunk, but he knew that they shouldn't considering Sunggyu had his right hand casted. He could’ve re-injured himself while getting wasted and Sungyeol did not want to be held responsible for that because he had had enough of Sunggyu’s spoilt attitude with his reason of _“I can’t use my right hand. Bring me food please.”_ Sungyeol swore he wouldn’t have complied to his annoying requests if not because Sunggyu was still struggling with his limited eye field, because _“dammit, Sunggyu! You’re left-handed!”_

But Sungyeol was glad nonetheless because Sunggyu hadn’t shown any signs of weakness despite just losing one of his eyes. Sunggyu had been nothing but a bundle of strength and smiles as he gladly received help from those around him. But it was wrong of him to decide that that early. Sunggyu was nothing but strength right then. The words that suddenly left the elder’s mouth had guided a knife straight to Sungyeol's heart that night when tears finally broke through.

“Sungyeol-ah.” His voice was of a whisper when he had called for the younger, splaying his limbs lazily on the couch. Sungyeol only hummed back a response then, too lazy to even pronounce a word as he had his eyes fixated on the television.

“I can’t see my future.” Sunggyu’s words were simple. Sungyeol wouldn’t have understood the meaning behind that if only he were someone else. But he was Sungyeol, Sunggyu’s one and only best friend so he couldn’t do anything but understand the meaning behind them.

Sungyeol had chuckled to dismiss what he had thought he understood. Sunggyu could be playing a joke on him and he wouldn’t know, because sometimes, Sunggyu could be unpredictable as well. “Funny, hyung. That’s too deep coming from you.” Sungyeol laughed a little too forced this time. He wished he had been wrong this time.

“Yeol. I can’t see my future. I can’t see yours. I can’t see anything anymore.” Sunggyu had sobbed this time. The tears that fell down had proved how dire the situation was for Kim Sunggyu. Kim Sunggyu’s heart had long turned to stone. He hadn’t cried for two years even with the news of the death of his cousin because he had foreseen it. He had prepared himself for it, every single time bad or good things happened. So the tears that had broke through surely had told them that no, Sunggyu wasn’t joking this time.

Sungyeol had risen from the couch. He sat there quiet, his hand holding the other’s tight. He had no words to return. He had nothing to comfort the elder.

“Sungyeol-ah. What if The Eyes never return? What if it had really been lost in that accident? What if I lost both my eyes and The Eyes, Sungyeol-ah?” Sunggyu had sobbed hard.

“It’s okay, Sunggyu. It will come back. It will. You only need to wait.”

“But if it didn’t? How would I live my life then? I already lost an eye, I can’t lose The Eyes too, Sungyeol. I can’t live without them. They are my life, my world.” It almost sounded like he wanted to beg Sungyeol to give him the answer he had wanted to hear, but Sungyeol had nothing like that. He didn’t have the power to know if The Eyes would return to him one day. He wasn’t gifted.

“Sunggyu, it’s just The Eyes. You are alive and breathing. You still have half your vision. You can survive this, Sunggyu. _You can._ ”

“But Yeol, I can’t. I need The Eyes. I can’t go on living and not knowing what would happen in the future. I can’t sleep like this. I’d rather die in that accident than having to live blindly like this—“

A fist had pounded on Sunggyu’s face and silence caught the elder’s throat. The air was too still; only ragged breaths were filling it. He brought a thumb against his broken lips, wiping the rusty taste liquid before he bit his lips. The punch had stung him, but the pain was not comparable to the pain in his chest. He looked up at Sungyeol whom was fuming with anger and shut his eyes tight when Sungyeol had lurched towards him and grabbed his collar.

“Sunggyu! You were in coma for one week! Your mother and your father cried every single day watching you fought for your life! You went pulseless twice in that week! How did you think we felt when the doctor had told us that they almost lost you?! We almost lost you twice, Sunggyu!” Sungyeol had screamed his lungs out, his face completely reddened in anger. He had wanted to stay mad, to stay angry at him, but the look of desperation in Sunggyu’s small but sharp eyes had told him that whatever Sunggyu had been feeling all these while, they were real. Those feelings, those thoughts in his head must have been painful enough to even seep the thought of death into his mind. The on-going tears against his pale skin were enough of a proof for him.

He carefully let go the grip on his collar and rested his hands on his shoulders instead. The grip there was desperate however. He was just desperate enough to relay to Sunggyu the message he had wanted him to understand.

“Sunggyu, please. We were just glad enough that you had won the battle, that you had fought for your life. Even if it had meant that you would have to give back your eyes for it. We were just really really glad that we’ve got you back with us. You came back to us, Sunggyu. _You came back._ " Sungyeol had pressed on his last words. He had wanted him to understand.

“I’m sorry, Yeol. I’m sorry.” Sunggyu muttered, yet they weren’t really sure what it had meant. The sobs then gradually melted into the cold, quiet air. The emotions they had let out were definitely intense, heavy. And they needed time to sink all thoughts away. Seconds turned to minutes before Sunggyu was suddenly reminded of the reason, or for a better term, the person he had given up his eyes for. What had happened to him after that? He never knew the answer to that. So he just did what he thought could give him the answers to his question.

“Hey, Yeol?” His voice snapped Sungyeol out of his daze.

“Yeah?” The other had responded, quiet and careful.

“What happened to the guy I saved?” Sungyeol looked antagonized at that.

“He was fine. Came out with scratches but nothing as bad.” He answered still, reluctance dripping from his voice.

“Didn’t he come to visit me? How come I never really saw him?" Sunggyu was curious. He had saved his life, lost his eyes in return and he never came back for him? Maybe he just didn't see him. He had his eye bandaged after all.

Sungyeol huffed and crossed his arms against his chest. “He came once when you were in coma, but that’s it.” Sunggyu's eyebrows knotted at the answer.

“That’s it?” He asked back.

“Yeah. I was actually quite pissed off myself. I was stupid to actually think that he was a tad bit handsome. A guy with that attitude doesn’t deserve a compliment from this majestic Lee Sungyeol! If I ever see him once again, just see what I'll do to him.” He had threatened. The look in his eyes had told Sunggyu that he wasn't exactly joking. No, it almost looked like he was planning a murder with just a fork.

Sunggyu had only chuckled quietly listening to him. He was thankful that the younger had gotten angry for him. He wanted to feel angry but he couldn’t. That night, Sunggyu could feel nothing but grief, pain and anguish. Kim Sunggyu was just so very grateful to have a Lee Sungyeol by his side.

It was the week after, when Sunggyu finally deemed himself ready to return back to his college. He had rested for almost a month and a half, and he thought it was enough time for him to get over the world-splitting accident and moved on with his life. Well, he thought wrong. Kim Sunggyu was nothing but ready for what had awaited him in his college. He almost regretted his decision the instant he had stepped a foot on the college ground. Those pairs of eyes that were watching him, staring at him—they had almost felt like they were scrutinising him. Scrutinising him for being disabled, for being scarred, for losing half of his world for a stranger, for being stupid, for being weak. Or just for being Kim Sunggyu. The looks of curiosity and whispers of pity had floated and swam through the cold air. And those had gone straight through his heart. He almost immediately shot his hand to his left eye, hiding the visible scar that stretched across the skin the moment he had heard _"Look, his eye."_ Sunggyu hated it. Sunggyu hated how insecure he had felt even with just a small insignificant scar.

It wasn’t even a second later when Sunggyu had felt a firm grip on his slumped shoulder. He didn’t have to turn his head to know that it was Sungyeol, concerned and furious at how oblivious a person could be. The younger had glared at those students who once bore a look of admire towards the older and they could only scramble away with just one look from the giant guy.

Quietly, Sunggyu had pulled Sungyeol away with him, eyes casted down as he avoided any possible eye contacts. Everyone had heard of the news. Everyone had already come to know that he had lost one eye the very same day he had just found out about it. It was amazing how fast news could travel, but at least Sunggyu was glad that no one seemed to know that along his eye, he had also lost the gift of The Eyes. _No, they didn’t need to know that._

Sunggyu entered his class with an oddly quiet step; different than the way he always did before—proud and eye smiles. Sungyeol wasn’t there with him. He had different classes to attend—after all, it was Sunggyu who decided to major in Art & Music when Sungyeol had asked him to join Musical & Acting. For once in his life, he had wished that he had accepted and joined Sungyeol. Going in alone into the class had proven to be the worst decision he ever made. The gush of people and the questions that had bombarded him was a little bit too much for him to take in. He wasn’t exactly in the best mental state still to just smile the questions away.

Sunggyu had kept his lips sealed amidst the questions thrown at him. He had wanted to leave the storm of people but he just couldn’t seem to do that. Yet remaining silent didn’t seem to faze his college friends when they kept shooting questions that Sunggyu had hoped they wouldn’t bring up. _"Are you alright?"_ , _"We heard you were in a coma, are you okay to come back to school?"_ , _"We heard you injured your eye, is everything okay?"_ , _"Is it true that your left eye is blind now?"_ Oh, if only they knew how hurt he was with those words.

As if it wasn’t enough that his heart was being repeatedly jabbed with words that he didn’t want to hear, a group of people had tried to force themselves forward and pushed a poor girl onto Sunggyu. Sunggyu’s casted arm however failed to catch the tumbling girl and he growled in pain when she had grabbed onto his wounded arm instead.

The crowd quieted down and all had remained silent and guilty when they noticed the look of pain engraving the male’s feature. “Sorry!” She had apologized, releasing and pulling back the arm that was holding onto Sunggyu’s. Sunggyu could feel the anger boiling up. The pain on his broken wrist, the pain on his wounded heart, the anguish he had tried to bury, everything he felt had tried to break free. He had almost exploded. He had wanted to scream and told the world that—

 _“Yes, it is! I’m blind! I can't see half of what you guys can! I'm disabled now! There you got the answer! Satisfied now?!”_ He had wanted to let them all out, but he didn't. _He couldn't._

"Sunggyu-ssi!" A voice had interrupted him. The voice held a strong tone to it yet when Sunggyu trailed his eyes to the sound of his name, the face he saw was all but stern. The guy had looked very concerned as he watched the sling on his hand slipped through. "Your sling, it was undone." He continued and stepped closer. Sunggyu narrowed his sharp eyes when he recognised that face, that familiar sharp feature with the very same brown locks. He knew this guy. _That handsome guy._

"We should get that fixed." The male had said as he picked up the sling and stood right in front of Sunggyu. Sunggyu creased his forehead. _Why would you care?_ He wanted to retort, to get angry with him because _damn it_ , why are you showing your concern and remorse now when you hadn't done so when you should have? Yet the words were stuck at the back of his throat when the guy had pulled on his broken arm and he had hissed instead.

"What are you doing?!" He growled, a mix of pain and anger had featured on his face as he scowled at the other.

"Stabilising your broken arm again. Your arm was at a weird angle just now. It could've gotten worse."

"So? Leave me alone. I don't need your help." Sunggyu could only groan in pain though when he had retorted by pulling his arm out of the other's gentle grip. The guy chuckled softly when he saw Sunggyu clasping his wounded arm tight against his chest. He didn't say a word though. He took Sunggyu's other hand firmly and tugged the other to walk with him before he turned to a quiet guy who had sat alone by the window.

"Myungsoo, tell the professor that we're going to the infirmary." He had said and pulled the other with him.

Sunggyu dragged himself along unwillingly as he walked to the infirmary with the guy who had stolen part of his world away. He had tried to struggle and break free, but it was a futile effort when the grip on his wrist was anything but firm and final. The guy knocked on the door as they arrived before they excused themselves into the infirmary when no one had answered his knock.

"Hello?" He still tried again as he glanced around the room, but the nurse wasn't anywhere visible in the room. So he just shrugged his shoulders and dragged Sunggyu to the huge table close to the framed window.

"I guess the nurse it out then." He finally broke the silence. Sunggyu just huffed in annoyance and shifted his eyes away. The other could only smile weakly before he tugged on the hand that was still in his—guiding him towards the chair and motioning him to sit. Sunggyu had grunted and looked reluctant, but had still sat himself on it. It was then when he finally noticed that the other's hand was still clasped onto his, so quickly, he had struggled and shoved the hand away.

"Since the nurse isn't here, then I guess I'll have to re-do your sling then. Are you okay with that?" Sunggyu heard the other asking but Sunggyu still didn't feel like talking to him. He turned his head away and let his gaze fell onto the huge tree residing just outside the window. Taking Sunggyu's silence as an "ok", the male begun doing his work diligently and looked somewhat pleased when Sunggyu said or did nothing to pull away from his touch.

"Just say something if I hurt you, okay, Sunggyu-ssi?" He spoke, lifted Sunggyu's arm slightly before slipping in the sling under the casted arm. Sunggyu raised his eyebrows and turned to look at him.

"You know my name." Sunggyu had started, watching his hands moving fluently as he fixed the sling again before letting his working eye set on the handsome guy.

"I do." He didn't return the stare though, focused.

"You're helping me." He stated again and the other just smiled.

"I am."

"You're not asking or saying anything."

"I'm not."

"You're annoying."

"I am." The brown-haired male had chuckled and nodded.

"Sungyeol doesn't like you."

"What about you?"

"I hate you." He had smiled again.

"I know." He held Sunggyu's hand in his. "And I'm going to change that." He had answered this time with a press of a hand. Sunggyu wanted to ask him _why?_ But the question remained hidden when he saw him standing up.

"Your sling is all set now." He said and patted his palms on his jeans. "I'm going back to class now. Why don't you stay here until the next class?" He suggested.

"Why would I?" Sunggyu frowned at the suggestion. But he hadn't answer Sunggyu’s question. He instead just nodded his head, walked back to the door and turned.

"Then, can you just wait five minutes before you go back to class?" The frown on Sunggyu's forehead dug even deeper this time.

"Just five minutes." He repeated, waved and rushed out. Sunggyu had almost called him back when he finally noticed—

"I didn't get to know his name." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes. still not used to Ao3. if you guys have AFF account, it'd be better to read this story there because I update more often there than here. ^^ And do leave some comments too! I may not reply but I read them with so much anticipation! hehehehehehe


	3. The scar left behind

Three days had passed since he had returned back to college and life was still as difficult for Kim Sunggyu. No, it wasn’t the crowd of people nor the question marks hinted on the students’ faces that had him bothered. To his pleasant surprise, the five minutes that he had somehow promised the other guy had proven that something had changed that day. The class was strangely calm and normal. It was still noisy but the noise wasn’t exactly directed towards him. There was no unsubtle glancing, no more obvious looks of curiosity after that. Sunggyu had almost felt like he was treated as normally as it was before the accident – except that sometimes, he couldn’t help but notice the subtle cautioned look the students would show. It was as if they were being more careful of what they said and did around him. Sunggyu didn’t know what brought the change but he had been so very thankful for the peace of mind he had earned then.

It was still a trouble for him outside the class though, but at least Sunggyu could be free of those scrutinization looks in the safe haven of his understanding class. Life was still difficult but Sunggyu thought he could cope with it. Yet what he _could_ _not_ cope then was his newfound  _disability_. He had lost half of his vision in that accident and school had proven to be even more stressful with half his world taken away from him.

The same day Sunggyu had went back to college; he had wanted to get back to his studies that he had left for almost two months. He had wanted to use his reference textbook for a brief revision, but _it was just wasn't there on his table_. He remembered bringing it with him. He remembered it in his hand just before he entered the class. He had panicked; _what if he had lost that expensive book his father had gotten him somewhere?_ He had rummaged through his bagpack, flipped out— until a hand had extended out and pushed the book into his view. The book _was_ _lost_ — lost in his dead eye, the eye that had nothing but dead shadow. Sunggyu had flushed vehemently at that moment, embarrassment and bitterness clouded his proud heart that he had even forgotten to thank the one who had kindly helped him.

It wasn’t even half an hour later when Sunggyu had opened his notebook to jot down the notes that were written on the whiteboard. But the flick of a head towards the board had only frustrated him more when he found half of the board missing from his view. He had clenched on his pen so tight that blood had drained out of his palm. His hand had trembled so badly. He was so mad, hated himself for being useless, for being so slow to follow the lectures, for being half blind. He had almost reprimanded himself for his lacks when the very same hand had extended out once again, this time handing him two pieces of paper congested with handwritten notes from the lecture. Sunggyu had frowned at the helping hand, turned his head to see the one helping him, and why was he surprised to see the same guy sitting right next to him, donning a somewhat foolish grin on his sharp, handsome feature?

“What are you doing here?” His look of curiosity almost immediately changed its form into a scowl. No, Sunggyu hadn't exactly feel like seeing that guy twice in the very same day he had met him again. The guy however, had raised an eyebrow at him and tilted his head, his face oozing oblivion.

 “Uh, studying? Class? Taking notes? Going to school?” He had replied,  _very smartly_  if Sunggyu could've say.

 “I know that.” Sunggyu had his eyes rolled— annoyed. “What I meant was, why are you _here_ _besides me_?” He hadn't particularly expected a very smart answer to come from this idiot guy but the answer that had come out definitely wasn't what he had wanted to hear from him.

“Because this is my usual seat?” The guy answered, gathered his things into his bag once he was done jotting down the last words on his notebook.

“No, it wasn’t!” Sunggyu was absolutely irked then. _Why was he returning his question with another question?!_  And _no_! He wasn't about to give away the benefit of his double seat. He owned those seats! “This used to be my bag’s seat! It was empty before!” He claimed.

“Well, not anymore.” The guy had nonchalantly refuted. Sunggyu groaned, almost kicked the guy by the legs but he had held back— he reminded himself to stay and remained calm.

“Why are you here in the first place anyway? I’ve never seen you in my class before.” Sunggyu crossed his arms against his chest, _interrogating_.

“I’m a transferee.” _Oh, that made sense._

“Fine." Sunggyu grunted. "Didn’t _aaaaanyone_ in this class ever tell you that _this_ is my seat?” Sunggyu had tried to reason. Maybe he would get the hint behind his dripping sarcasm. _Maybe_. Or maybe not.

“Well, _that_ is your seat. Not this one.” The other had pointed out, stood up and ready to leave. Sunggyu had to shoot up too because hell no, he would never let this guy looked down on him. 

“No! Both of these seats are mine!” Sunggyu was being childish, he knew that but he didn't really intend to spend his remaining college months with the guy who had taken his eyes away. And he hadn't exactly felt like being polite with this guy either. No, he didn't deserve that. But it hadn't seemed like this guy actually care if Sunggyu was being polite or even rude. He was _nonchalant_. He wasn't pertubed at all.

“Tough luck, Mr. Kim Sunggyu. You can’t have both things you want in life.” He casually dismissed him. Sunggyu huffed, taken aback because  _"really? Like I didn't already know that."_ Sunggyu made a face and sneered at the other.

“Did I already tell you that you were annoying?” He glared. To Sunggyu's annoyance, the guy actually had the nerve to chuckle at his question.

“Indeed, you already did.” He looked somewhat amused and Sunggyu didn't quite like the jubilant look he had sported.

“How about _piss off_?” Sunggyu hissed, and _damn it_ , the other had looked even more amused this time. 

“No, not yet.” He kindly answered, obviously trying to hold back the chuckle at the back of his throat.

“Good. Just telling you now. _Piss. Off.”_ Sunggyu had intended the harsh shove against the other's shoulder as he walked past. 

“I have a stomach to be fed here.” He had  _graciously_  informed the guy as he left him behind.

Sunggyu hadn’t really known how much he hated his disability then until he had _almost_ hurt himself,  _almost_ kissed the guy when he had  _almost_  gotten involved in a small accident he had brought upon himself. Sunggyu had wanted to leave his class as soon as possible to meet Sungyeol for lunch when he had took a step forward. He hadn’t seen the dangerous step in front of him, his void eye being the sole reason behind his carelessness. He had almost walked into it and planted face first onto the ground if not for the guy—who had grabbed his arm, gripped his waist, and pulled him back swiftly and into his embrace. Sunggyu regretted snapping his head up to scold the guy for helping him because their nose had touched, their lips _almost_. He hated how he had felt at that time. He was helped by the guy who had caused his life misfortune, stood too close in his arms while his own fingers had desperately clung onto the guy’s shoulder—he felt pathetic.

“Are you okay?” The voice had sounded even deeper close to his ear, and it had pulled Sunggyu out and back into reality. He had struggled out of his arms and pushed the guy away. “ _I don’t need_ _your help_.” He growled with a strong glare and hurried out. Sunggyu had hoped that it would be the last time he saw the guy, had hoped that it would be the last time he received help from the guy. _But whom was he kidding?_

“Stop following me!” Sunggyu stopped on his track, turned to the back and hissed loudly. The glower on his face would have been scary enough to shake other people off, but apparently, not this guy. He had only stood there and shrugged his shoulders with no care.

“I’m not.” He replied.

“Then why are you walking behind me?”

“Because you’re not the only one heading to the café. I have a stomach to be fed too.” He had replied and jutted his bottom lips out. Sunggyu had wanted to scream and maybe strangle him while he did that, wanted to say something to retort, but he couldn’t. It _was_ lunchtime after all. Sunggyu grunted out loud, turned and stomped his feet off. _It’s okay. I’ll just let Sungyeol do the crime._ Sunggyu had thought, wishing his best friend had his fork ready at the café.

Kim Sunggyu had felt so very stupid to actually think about trusting Sungyeol. Words couldn’t describe how happy and excited Sunggyu was when he had seen the precious fork in Sungyeol’s hand as he reached their usual table—that handsome guy still trailing behind him. Sunggyu was even more thrilled when he saw Sungyeol’s round eyes almost popped out in surprise when he had recognized the guy whom he had once proclaimed to be _handsome_ and _his type_. Sunggyu saw those eyes; those eyes that had hinted of an evil murder plan and Sunggyu could even read all the other plans writtened on his face. Sunggyu was absolutely fired up when his friend had even shot up from his seat, ready to lunge himself towards his stalker with the fork still gripped in his fist.

Sunggyu had almost wanted to clap in victory but stopped miserably when Sungyeol had suddenly halted his lurch, stiffened and frozen, eyes blinking foolishly.

“Hey, Woohyun.” A voice had interrupted the joy Sunggyu was about to celebrate. Sunggyu turned on his foot, wanted to scowl at the other for ruining the perfect murder plan when he finally understood, or a better word, _saw_ the reason Sungyeol had turned to statue.

“Myu- Myungsoo.” Sungyeol had stuttered out in a whisper, his face reddening up like fire the moment he saw the quiet, chic guy approaching. The handsome guy, or so was being called Woohyun had stopped walking and turned around.

“Myungsoo.” He called out with a smile; a small wave of hand signed him to come. The guy complied as he stood in front of them.

“Thought you’re eating with me?” Myungsoo nudged the guy— now named _Woohyun._

“Yeah, I am.” He nodded once, subtly glanced at Sunggyu to which the latter had frowned at him. That Myungsoo guy just tugged on Woohyun's arm.

“Then hurry. The steak is gonna finish by the time you had stopped stealing glances at him.” Myungsoo snorted when Woohyun guy had hissed and jabbed his ribs. Sunggyu however just kindly decided that he hadn't hear anything then. 

"Fine. Just go get your steak fast. I'll look around for seats for us." Woohyun had narrowed his eyes when he saw the smug look Myungsoo had sported. He was obviously enjoying whatever silent conversations their eyes were having. But their bickering eyes were not the reason Sunggyu had almost spluttered and kicked the legs of the table in front of him. No, Sungyeol's painful stupidity _did_.

“You guys can have your steak here! With us!” Sungyeol had suddenly chipped in, his voice pitched an octave higher than his usual tone. Sunggyu’s small eyes had widened out this time, if it was even possible what with his small little eyes.  _"Yah!!"_ Sunggyu had warned, _needed_ to warn.  _What was he thinking?!_ Even that Woohyun guy was taken aback with Sungyeol's sudden invitation.

“I'm sorry?” He had spewed. "I said, you guys can sit with us. Umm, we— we have extra spots anyway." Sungyeol gladly yet nervously repeated.

“Yah! Lee Sungyeol!” Sunggyu hissed and jabbed—no, _stabbed_ the guy by the waist with his sharp elbow. Sungyeol's face contorted into pain but the curl of his lips still remained on his face.

“Sit with you guys..?” Woohyun's forehead creased. " _No_!" Sunggyu had hollered a second after. 

“Yes! I mean, yes! We can save you guys a seat here. You guys can go ahead and buy your steak.” Sungyeol had reasoned out and Sunggyu could only blatantly dropped his shoulder.  _Seriously?_

“Okay?” Sungyeol had asked when the two hadn't given an answer, obviously stealing glances at Myungsoo hoping he would agree.

“O-okay…” Woohyun was hesitant to answer, but Myungsoo had shrugged his shoulder and they didn't exactly have any reason to reject either. Sungyeol had quickly waved them away to get their food with a smile, before that smile dropped into a guilty-looking one as he clasped his hand together.

"Sunggyu! I'm so sorry!!!" He begged with his eyes closed tight. Sunggyu scoffed at his best friend.

“Yah, I can’t believe you! I thought you wanted to kill that guy with a fork!” Sunggyu plopped himself into the chair, eyes still glowering at his so-called best friend. Sungyeol looked offended at that.

“What? I didn’t say that!” He defended himself. Sunggyu scoffed once again and made a face.

_“Yeah, but your face did!”_

Sunggyu couldn’t believe how stupid he was to trust Sungyeol to carry out their well-planned murder. He had expected the guy to avenge his misfortune for him, but ended up having to eat lunch _three days straight_ with the guy he had hated most because of his own best friend. But then, Sunggyu didn’t exactly hate the turn out of event either. No, he _loved_ the look Sungyeol had when Sunggyu had ordered him around to get him his favourite food and drink. He liked the way Woohyun had subtly fussed over Sunggyu’s broken arm and had fed the food for him. Of course he hadn’t smile or even thank the guy for helping him with his food. He deserved that much for all the pain he had suffered thanks to him. Sunggyu had noticed though, Sungyeol’s non-approving look when Sunggyu was being fed yet he had somehow felt satisfied seeing that. But Sunggyu wasn't satisfied however, when Woohyun had somehow crossed the line this time.

Sunggyu had stood up to return his tray of food back to the counter, struggling to lift the heavy thing with only one hand when Woohyun had rose and took them from him without saying a word. Sunggyu frowned at that. He admitted that he actually liked seeing them being ordered around by him, tottering but he didn't quite like receiving help when he didn't exactly ask for it or want it.

“I can do that myself.” Sunggyu grunted and protested as he tried to take back the tray. But the guy had only shrugged him off and had walked away to return them.

“Yah! Stalker!! Give me back my tray!” He had yelled, didn't really care if the other students had watched and stared.

“Stalker?” Woohyun had turned and raised an eyebrow at him. Sunggyu clucked his tongue and flicked his head at the other.

“Yeah, stalker!” He even added one more this time. Woohyun was obviously amused then.

“I have a name, you know.” A corner of his lips curled upward but Sunggyu wasn't going to have it.

“So? You’re still a stalker, a creep. Always butting in and appearing when you shouldn’t have.” Sunggyu rolled his eyes annoyed yet Woohyun had only looked even more amused at Sunggyu’s new nicknames for him.

“Okay, Sunggyu. Whatever you say.” He laughed away.

“Yah, it’s Kim for you. Don’t you dare call me by my first name!" Sunggyu had barked back but it hadn't deterred Woohyun's nonchalant look when he had just shrugged his shoulder off.

“Well, you called me stalker. So…” He trailed his words longer than necessary.

“You deserved that!” Sunggyu had insisted but no, Woohyun wasn't going to stop there.

“I can call you Sunggyu then. Since I’m your _stalker_ anyway.” He pressed on the word quite obviously. Sunggyu frowned.

“What? No! You can’t!” He _stomped_. Sunggyu had actually _stomped_.

“Just call me Woohyun then. Fair, isn't it? Sunggyu. Woohyun.” He pointed a finger respectively. He was negotiating, tricking.

“Never! Never calling you that! Stalker! Creep!” Sunggyu's face had flushed red. _He just wouldn't admit defeat, would he?_

“Okay then, Sunggyu.” The guy had taunted, turned and walked away.

“Yah! Nam Woohyun!” Sunggyu hollered very loudly with a stomp of a foot. Woohyun turned and feigned a look of surprise.

“So you do know my name!” He gasped. Oh, God only knew how much Sunggyu had wanted to strangle that long neck of his while the other two boys on the other hand had only watched the scene from the side, amused.

 _“Smooth!”_ Both Sungyeol and Myungsoo had commented quietly— smirked at Woohyun’s nonchalance look like he hadn’t _actually nicely forced_ the older to call him by his name.

The bickering between Kim Sunggyu and Nam Woohyun however didn't exactly stop there but the rest was just history. Sunggyu had no intention to reminisice the annoying conversation he had then— mostly it was just Woohyun outsmarting him with words he couldn't argue. Sunggyu had thought that the day wouldn't really get any worse than it already had. His life that day had been sailing quite smoothly if he might even dared to say— excluding the bits where he had to see that Nam Woohyun guy. Everything so far had gone fairly well. Sunggyu had earned the permission to leave his books in his class, had Woohyun doing all the hardwork and took their notes in class, and had even managed to play the piano without having to see half the keys of the piano. Sunggyu was so very pleased that his fingers still remembered how to dance around the keys that he hadn't actually needed to see them to play. He was so very happy and relaxed that day— that he had even fell asleep in in his class, arms looped around his head as he rested on the table. It was the worst nightmare he had ever had since that accident.

Sunggyu was somewhere, on an unknown land. There was a huge school building there, abandoned. The land was stormy, a typhoon was going around. But Sunggyu was safe at the centre — it was calm there but wild and harsh outside. It was then when he saw a guy standing outside the wall of storm— black shirt, black jacket and a pair of black pants, his hair sleek and charcoal black as they tousled and rimmed his head. He had seen his face amidst the wild storm yet he couldn't discern the feature; the wind was harsh to his view. But Sunggyu could at least tell, that _he didn't know this guy_. Sunggyu took a step closer to the side of the circle he was in. He wanted to get a better look. He narrowed his eyes and focused on the guy. His eyes were sharp yet it had looked sad. His lips were smiling yet it was anything but happiness. Then there was a jagged scar on top of his left eye. He hadn't known why but his hand almost immediately shot up to reach out the moment he saw him nodding and turning. He had wanted to call out his name, told him  _"Don't leave!"_  but he couldn't ring any bell. He didn't actually know this guy. He didn't know his name. The guy had walked away, his steps slow and steady, yet the steps almost screamed like he wanted Sunggyu to stop him from leaving.

Sunggyu had run. He had dashed out and into the stormy land. The force of wind was strong though; his whole body shook and trembled as it tried to walk past the wall of storm. He wanted to reach the guy, maybe asked him  _"Who was he?"_ and  _"Why was he leaving him?"._  But as his shaky legs took another step within the harsh blow, the guy had turned around and smiled sadly. Sunggyu was taken aback when he had a clear look. His legs stiffened and still, rooted there on the ground before an even stronger gush of wind took him somewhere else. 

He wasn't on a stormy land anymore. Sunggyu looked around. He was at the intersection.  _Why was he seeing this again?_  Sunggyu didn't understand. His eyes then caught a figure similar to himself running across the road. He knew who it was but Sunggyu hadn't averted his eyes yet. He just kept on watching. He watched how the guy he had been trying to save stopped, how he had looked at the other him confused and how had almost looked like he had seen a ghost. Sunggyu watched himself reaching out and pushed the guy out to safety, saw how foolish he had been when he could've saved himself had he jumped out along with the other. But knowing it then didn't change anything now. Everything had still happened. His body had still met the rock hard car, had tumbled and rolled on top of the car, had his head knocked the front mirror until it had cracked and teared his eye with its pieces, before his body had rolled back and whammed against the tarred road. Sunggyu could feel the pain all over again. He remembered still being conscious until a hand had reached out and slapped his cheek. He remembered a voice asking him if he could hear the other. Sunggyu had wanted to nod his head, wanted to say  _"I heard you,"_  but the pain was too intense, his head was throbbing. And before he could see who it was, he had closed his eyes and let darkness took his consciousness.

He hadn't been curious to know whom it was before, but Sunggyu could see everything from here. He had recognised the one who had knelt by his side. He had recognised that concerned, worried look on top of the disheveled feature, saw how tears and fear externalised through the look of his eyes. He saw how the hands had trembled when Sunggyu's blood had smeared on them, the white hoodie tainted with bright red, the whole body screaming that the owner was distraught seeing that Sunggyu was dying with that much of blood loss. That person hadn't known what to do except screaming to the crowd to call for the ambulance. It wasn't until Sungyeol had arrived when he finally made the call while others were too stunned to do anything. Sunggyu didn't know what he had felt at that moment, but he _did_ know that,  _Nam Woohyun had been there with him._

Sunggyu felt a twinge in his chest. He didn't exactly understand the tug in his heart but he hadn't exactly planned to understand it either. Just when Sunggyu had wanted to turn and leave, hadn't wanted to know what happened next, Woohyun— he had turned his head towards his direction when Sunggyu's litheless body was still in his arm, his eyes still glistened with tears before the fear behind them had grown significantly. Sunggyu had frowned at that.  _Why? What's happening? Did he maybe_ —

"Sunggyu!!" A voice had pulled him out of his dream. Sunggyu's eyes shot open and his head jolted back. He blinked his eyes a few times, his breathing ragged as he looked at the owner of the voice.

"Woohyun." He whispered, panting as he tried to gain back his regular breathing. Woohyun looked worried. His fingers were clinging onto Sunggyu's shirt that he had almost crumpled the ironed cloth he was donning.

"Sunggyu." He had called out again, the fingers on his shirt tightened this time. Sunggyu's breathing was slowing down then. His eyes were looking deep into Woohyun's. He didn't say a word though. That dream was intense; his eyes were lost in the other's worried gaze. He was dazed and zoned out— until he felt a warm touch on his cheek.

Woohyun had run his thumb against his skin, wiping the wet trails of his tears.  _Tears._  Sunggyu didn't know he had cried. He hadn't understood why. He had only known that the rough skin sliding against his had felt tender, gentle, _calming_ — until the touch had reached and hovered over _the_ scar. Sunggyu's hand rose, grabbed the hand on his face, and looked into the other's eyes again.

"Ouch!!!" A loud cry of pain resounded and Sunggyu's face had told him nothing but nonchalance and satisfaction before he had released Woohyun's hand. 

 

Sunggyu had twisted the other's wrist and away from his scar.


	4. Creaking the door open

#  Creaking the door open 

Hours had turned into days and days had already turned into a week when Monday finally made its appearance once again. The week had felt so very long to Sunggyu. Time once again proved to be the cruelest torture when it had passed by so excruciatingly slow. The last time Sunggyu had felt so was when he was waiting for the bandage on his eye to come off— who knew the waiting would end up with his heart torn and broken. Only this time, Sunggyu had hoped that the waiting would finally be worth it. Certainly, Sunggyu would never deny himself being one of those typical college students who had hated Mondays so much, but somehow, Sunggyu just had a feeling that— _no_ ,  _not this Monday._ Because a small part of him had hoped that a certain brown-haired male would finally pop himself out and appear in their class this time.

The last time Sunggyu had seen the guy was on that day when he had so helplessly fallen asleep in the class and had the most freakish dream he had ever had. He had still remembered Woohyun's worried look as he saw him sweating, breaths ragged and tears tracing down his cheek as he woke up from that dream. He had remembered how Woohyun had gently wiped the traces of tears away from his face, had almost touched the one thing Sunggyu had felt insecure about. He remembered twisting Woohyun's hand away from it, remembered the pained look on his feature as he rubbed the twisted wrist.

But Woohyun hadn't said a word. There was a soft smile on his lips but that was it, before he threw him his usual full-blown grin and flicked Sunggyu's forehead with his fingers— had dismissed the whole thing with a  _"How could you sleep in the class? I'm the only one who's working hard for the notes here."_  He had complaint, pouted but Sunggyu hadn't taken those words to heart at all. He kept on staring, observing Woohyun's side profile with the remaining vision he had left.  _Did he see him? Did he know Sunggyu was there? Why did he look so frightened when he saw him?_  Question after question begun to claw on his mind, yet they were left unanswered when Woohyun had missed their class the next day. 

And the day after.

And even the day after that.

Only when the weekend had greeted him did he understand that Woohyun just hadn't planned to show himself at all that week. Certainly Sunggyu was pissed—  and _curious_. It had almost been a week since he had had the dream, almost a week since Woohyun hadn't turned up and yet, Sunggyu still hadn't solved the new mystery that he had caught himself in. That dream was certainly odd— had been the ember to the doubt and confusion that was stirring in his heart, but it wasn't until a certain brown-haired male had stopped showing up right after the dream did it finally dawn on him that the male might have something to do with him, that he might be related to all these questions floating in his head. His disappearance indeed had been the one that ignited— lit that ember to the wild fire of curiosity. Obviously Sunggyu had spent the whole week thinking and _only_ _thinking_ —

_"What could have the dream meant?"_

_"Why would he dream of that accident again?"_

_"Who was that guy in black? What was he trying to tell him?"_

_"Did Woohyun really see him then?"_ And more importantly—

" _Why would he skip classes right after the dream had appeared?"_ No, surely it couldn't have been only a coincidence. 

Sunggyu had one too many questions surging in his mind that sometimes, he found his head throbbing painfully every time he had even remotely tried to repeat the questions in his head again. In the end, Sunggyu had only concluded that the dream was a puzzle, a shrouded mystery that had to be solved, a mystery he couldn’t really put a finger on and Nam Woohyun _had_ to be the puzzle pieces to the answers he was looking for. He had to— everything was starting to look suspicious and the suspicions had only led Sunggyu to a Nam Woohyun so far.

Needless to say, that dream had been nagging and repeating in his mind ever since it had appeared, brought confusion and several unanswered questions to claw on Sunggyu’s mind. He hadn’t, _couldn’t_ actually forgot that grim look on Woohyun’s sharp, dishevelled feature when their eyes had connected for a brief second then. Sunggyu had still vividly remembered the fear underlying those tear-glistened eyes; that brief connection between them, as if Woohyun had seen him there. He couldn’t believe it either because that was supposed to be his dream and _only his_. Woohyun had invaded enough of his life then, there was no way Woohyun could invade _his_ _dream_ as well.

Sunggyu had wanted to believe that it was just the trick of a mind, that it was only a dream, a _nightmare_ to scare a child. But his thumping heart just wouldn’t settle with that superficial reassurance. The churns and nerves flipping in his stomach had had him feel uneasy all the time and he hadn't like that feeling at all. It was certainly suspicious and odd when Sunggyu had thought about it. How could the dream seem to connect to his disappearance? It wasn't actually possible, he had thought but the thought itself had been gnawing on his mind. He couldn't really get rid of that feeling. It wasn't really like Sunggyu to doubt a person when it had probably only been a stupid nightmare-ish dream of his because Sunggyu wasn’t _exactly_ the suspicious type of guy.

He had _never_ been the suspicious type. He had _The Eyes_ after all. Any question that appeared in his mind immediately took form in a picture of moving subjects as they answered them all. He was _never_ suspicious. So when Woohyun had missed their classes for the rest of the week after that day of _the dream_ , leaving Sunggyu all alone and screwed up in class, Sunggyu couldn't help but found suspicions and curiosity creeping on his already occupied mind. Woohyun was a box of mystery and Sunggyu was the curious cat that craved to peek inside.

 

Though solving the puzzling mystery of the dream was one thing—  _annoying_ Sunggyu was another however.

He had been curious certainly, but words weren't exactly needed to show that Kim Sunggyu was annoyed as well— _pissed_ because things had been rough for him in class ever since Nam Woohyun had decided to hide himself somewhere unknown to Sunggyu. He was exasperated because his only source of notes hadn't shown up, his mind was a little too occupied with things that weren't supposed to, and his void eye wasn't exactly helping him when he couldn't even  _fucking_  see half the board to even focus to the lecture given to them. Yes, Sunggyu was definitely _pissed_ — and hopeless.

He hated himself for being so hopeless; pointless because he hadn't progressed with his studies at all, had felt pathetic because all he could think then was _the dream and only Woohyun_. He was a lost case. He just couldn’t help that nagging feeling, telling him that something was up, that something wasn't right and that had frustrated him so much because he hadn't known why—not without _The Eyes_ to show him, not without the person in question to answer him.

Sunggyu had swallowed his ego and pride, had tried to ask Sungyeol’s _massive_   _crush_ about Woohyun’s whereabouts but the other hadn’t exactly been cooperative and willing enough to reveal the _much-unneeded_ information. No, Sunggyu did not miss the guy, he had denied the suggestive wiggles of eyebrows on Myungsoo's look. He was just partly curious and partly pissed— mostly pissed, because he wasn’t told of his absence. It wasn’t like they were friends enough to share such things but he was Sunggyu’s _note sources,_ he _had_ to tell himself that and told the other. He could’ve at least left a message or something—maybe forced Myungsoo to relay it to him. Because hey, Sunggyu hadn’t particularly planned to fail their quizzes next few weeks just because someone hadn’t exactly been diligent about their job. He could’ve at least been warned. 

Sunggyu was making it clear to everyone that he was annoyed— pissed. He _had_ to, because there was absolutely _no way_ that Kim Sunggyu would ever admit it. He would bring it to his grave if he needed to—because Sunggyu would never tell a soul about the curiosity that had been shrouding his mind and heart, would never say it out loud that the disappearance of Nam Woohyun had only fuelled his wild curiosity even more. No, not a single soul— except maybe his one and only best friend, Lee Sungyeol but definitely not a Kim Myungsoo nor a Nam Woohyun. _Just never_ —he had vowed.

And he would never admit it as well— even to himself, that it was definitely because of this sort of curiosity gnawing on his mind that had made Sunggyu desperately pleaded for his gift of the 7th sense back. He had needed _The Eyes—_ needed to see, to look into Woohyun’s future, searched for the answers to the questions that had been crawling in his head. But _what was he wasting his time for?_ Sunggyu had scoffed to himself.

_The Eyes_ hadn’t shown any sign of coming back, there weren’t any flashes of rolling pictures in his head, hadn’t foreseen anything at all even after almost two months of recuperating. Sunggyu was overwhelmed. _How would he live drowning in a sea of the unknown?_  He had had one too many questions tormenting him, and ironically,  _that_   _question_ had been the one he had wanted the answer the most. He was too frustrated, too into the heat of the moment, too occupied with the impossibility of living through the unknowns that he had failed to recognize something that was just as important.

 

Something that definitely would have Sunggyu worried, concerned— and  _anxious_ about. Something he hadn't expected to happen so soon, to actually smack reality right into his face.

"Sunggyu-ssi!" A small, low-pitched voice had made several heads turned, Sunggyu included as he looked down at the owner of that sweet voice. He plastered a small, polite smile as he raised his eyebrows in question. He definitely could spare a few minutes before his first class for such a cute girl— the thought had crossed his head when he saw the petite female.

"Yes?" He answered back with a slight tilt of his head. She had a tint of rosiness spreading on her cheeks before she had shyly curled her lips into a small plump smile. "Sunggyu-ssi," She started, the blush only deepening when she felt the stare on her, trying her best to ignore the crowd’s curious stares as they halted their way to class only to watch the scene unfolding.

"I, uhh, can I have a bit of your time now?" Sungyeol had been there when that had been said and he had cooed, had _whistled_ oh so loudly that it baffled Sunggyu a little too much. _Was this a confession?_ He had even thought about it, Sungyeol’s naughty look being the reason behind the sudden pop of his baseless thought. And just like that, Sunggyu's world had suddenly looked a tone brighter than his usual dark and gloomy one. He hadn't really known the girl personally, but a confession was a confession and Sunggyu was glad to be at the receiving end of it. It could at least feed a little on his self-confidence that had been slowly but surely crumbling ever since he had suffered his loss. 

Sunggyu’s face had almost brightened a bit too much if only he hadn’t reminded himself to stay calm and respectful. He just suppressed the grin threatening to appear and had nodded a bit too eagerly at the other. Of course he wasn't going to say yes or reject a girl's nice request before he had even heard the other party. Sunggyu might be clueless but he wasn't _that_ heartless.

"Sure thing. Is here fine for you?" He shuffled his feet to face the female properly, blinking down on her as he waited for her to calm down. A nod and a small bite on her bottom lips later, Sunggyu knew she was readying herself for the worst. She had been fumbling with the hem of her one-piece pastel dress, obviously fidgeting when she realized that Sunggyu's attention had completely been on her. The male certainly wouldn't deny that she had looked utterly adorable that way. He might have just said yes— a small thought had popped up out of nowhere.

"Uh, actually... Umm, so I have this guy on my mind since a long time ago..." She began, eyes nervously glancing between Sunggyu's hard stare and the floor's cold one. There were eyes everywhere and suddenly; Sunggyu had felt embarrassed for not bringing this somewhere else, somewhere definitely more private than this sort of spotlight. But it had been a little too late to bring it up when the other had continued.

"I like him. Like, _like_ him a lot." She had said, had left the sentence hanging there, dragging it out longer than necessary. But Sunggyu was okay with that. The fumbling of her fingers and the rosy shade on her cheeks weren't exactly sparing his heart from racing a bit too fast for his own good. He was definitely nervous, but _why_ — he hadn’t understood that himself. He didn’t even hold any feeling for the petite female but he had been nervous. Maybe it was the way her dress had twirled and whirled, maybe it was the biting of the lips; maybe it was the rosy shade dusting on her cheeks— it could be anything but he wouldn't know.

"You see, I've liked this person for a very long time. I thought it was just a small crush, a small crush that would disappear as time goes by but it didn't. I think I just grew to like this person even more now. I want to confess, I want to say my feelings to that person before I would give up." She looked up then, eyes staring into eyes. She looked so breathtaking with those dusted pink cheeks, trembling lips, and yet she had those pair of eyes that had told him that she was determined despite everything, that she was ready to lose everything just for this moment. She was honestly cute, _adorable and absolutely cute_ — which was why it perplexed Sunggyu so very much when the next words had left her plump soft lips.

"So, I was thinking that maybe you would—" He waited. "That you could look into that for me?" Sunggyu was thrown off, had only gulped painfully as he let the words sunk in.  "I'm sorry?" He had spluttered, startled. When the words finally did sink in, Sunggyu had felt like he was punched with a blow so hard that he had to wonder if he could ever patch up the damage done to his bleeding heart.

"I mean, I heard you can sort of— umm, see the future. So I thought about asking you to see if, if he would actually reciprocate my feelings." She had quickly clarified, stumbling with the way she worded her thoughts out. The blush on her cheeks had only grown even harder when Sunggyu had only remained silent—too silent because for Kim Sunggyu, everything was suddenly _dull_ again. Dull and monotonous.

"You—“ Sunggyu broke the silence with a stuttering start. “You mean to use my _Eyes_  to—" He hadn't even finished his words when the small girl had furiously nodded her head.

_Suddenly_ Sunggyu had found his face growing too warm and flushed at that moment, he was just too embarrassed. _Suddenly_ all those eyes that had been gawking at them since the beginning had felt so very suffocating for him. _Suddenly_ he had found himself unable to breath in the heavy, still air around him. _Suddenly_ everything was just too much for him to take in. 

_Of course._ It had been  _The Eyes_ again.  _It had always been_   _The Eyes._  Why would he ever think otherwise? Why would he even think of something so ridiculous? Sunggyu had almost wanted to laugh at himself, maybe laugh and cry at the same time because he could feel his heart breaking, his pride torn apart— of course everything had went back to _The Eyes._  They hadn’t need a Kim Sunggyu, had only desired the fortunes that came with _The Eyes_ , but he didn't have them.  _Not anymore._  What should he do then? What _could_ he do then? Sunggyu was hopeless, was lost. What else could he do here? He had thought of the answer for a brief while, but the only answer that had came to his mind then was: Of course he had to lie. He had to mask the hurt behind his forced smile and _lied_.

Sunggyu patted her head gently, had even huffed out a chuckle as he muttered a quiet apology, about to coat it with lies and deceits that he was about to tell. "I'm sorry." He had felt the strange bitter taste rolling on his tongue. He had noticed the ears that inevitably perked up the moment he had said his apology, had seen how those stares had intensified, body stiffening because Sunggyu had sounded like he was about to say no to a request for _The Eyes_. And that would definitely seem strange to them.

"I can't do that." The words finally left his mouth and he wasn’t even surprised when those eyes had enlarged, blinked because Sunggyu had said the word “ _can’t_ ”. The girl had her eyebrows knotted close, confusion apparent on her charming feature. "But— but why?" She had stuttered out. She was stumped, hurt, _embarrassed_ , Sunggyu was sure of that.

And Sunggyu _for once_ had finally felt sorry for someone, for the first time ever in two years. It hadn't been his intention to embarrass her, wasn’t his thought to do so but what choice was Sunggyu left with? Because Kim Sunggyu was _even more_ embarrassed than her, even more hurt than her, and even more baffled than her with the sudden turn of event. His pride had been torn then, tattered and was almost thrown to the deep abyss of his broken, empty heart when the realization had hit him so hard. _Kim Sunggyu had been too full of himself;_ the ego and pride that had grown in his heart was finally eating on him. And it hurt really bad, hurt too much but Sunggyu had to hide them.

"Don't take me wrong, Miss—" Sunggyu trailed his voice along with a small, weak smile. The girl understood the meaning and had immediately responded with a broken voice, it hadn't been obvious but the hint of a suppressed cry was definitely there. "Hina." She had offered still. Sunggyu had swallowed quietly— had felt a lump of bitterness going down his throat and into his knotted stomach.

"Don't take me wrong, Hina-ssi. I just sort of promised myself to take a break from all the foreseeing for awhile. I lost an eye because of it after all." Sunggyu had chuckled and ruffled her hair. "Don't worry too much, Hina-ssi. If your feeling is strong enough to think that it might even be _love_ , then I'd say you’d have a bright future with that." She had frowned, had looked even more confused when her mind had ingested the said words. _Hadn’t he just told her that he wasn’t going to foresee anything for her?_ So why would Sunggyu tell her that? She hadn’t grasped the reason at all. Sunggyu had to breathe out a sigh then, a smile gracing his tired lips.

"Even if the guy had said no to your feelings, it doesn't mean you can't love him still. You can still fight for his heart. Right? If you came here ready with everything, then you wouldn't have anything more to lose, wasn’t it?" Sunggyu had continued, had phrased his words just as carefully because a confused heart was ever so sensitive and fragile— he had known that because he had been through it. So when her feature had lightened up to his words, the sparkle behind her doe eyes had twinkled in response; Sunggyu’s broken soul could only drift further, his heart then hollowed more than ever.

"That's true." She had nodded her head with a bright smile. "Thank you so very much, Sunggyu-ssi! I'll do my best for him! Thank you!" She had almost screamed out her gratitude as she hastily bowed and rushed out. He could only gaze at the direction of where she had went and disappeared, the curl of his lips had slowly fell into a flat line of a pursed lips. Those curious eyes that had been watching the whole scenario could only flick aimlessly then, hadn't known where to direct them when they had noticed a strong pair of eyes glaring at them, especially telling them to scramble away by the grave look of them. And so they did, had left Sunggyu and Sungyeol alone in the extended hall as the clock ticked off, a sign that the first period was beginning.

"Sunggyu." Sungyeol had placed a firm, understanding hand on his shoulder. Sunggyu had turned and _smiled_. He had smiled but his eyes _hadn't_. And Sungyeol completely understood.

"Yeol." His voice came out, betraying his original intention to look fine because it had trembled, hoarse and stuck at the back of his throat, his eyes glistened with hints of unshed tears. Some might thought and guessed that the tremble of his voice was because his heart had just been broken, broken because his _subject of crush_ had someone else in their mind but Sungyeol knew. He knew that it hadn't been the reason. There were more to it behind the shaky voice and pooling tears, and Sungyeol knew that Sunggyu knew. Their minds were different yet alike after all. Just how Sungyeol had almost forgotten about the reality of it, Sunggyu had almost done the same thing too.

Sunggyu had forgotten, hadn't even thought about remembering it until that had happened. He had almost forgotten that with the loss of _The Eyes_  came the consequences that he could _never_ escape.

He didn’t know about the others, but Sunggyu had always known things ahead of time. He had never had to ponder, to wring his brain out about the _what if’s_. So when that gift of knowing it all had been taken away from him, Sunggyu hadn’t really known what to do with that. Suspicions, doubts, anxiety, uncertainties, everything had been so very new to him that he found himself _so lost_ all of the sudden. It was the first time Sunggyu had ever felt so.

_Reality—_ Sunggyu knew he would have to face it any time soon. He knew that reality would finally caught up with him, would sniff him out of the safe zone he had built for himself when he would  _finally_ had to admit that the gift of the Heaven probably wouldn't return to him and the demands for The Eyes would made their ways again, not only from himself but also those around him as well. He wouldn't know what he would do then. What he did know was that he would definitely feel lost once again.

Then _reputation_ would slowly turn into his enemy. It would haunt him no matter time or place, would claim its rightful place soon just like it had been before, except that he wouldn’t have _The Eyes_ to maintain them this time, to _please_ them. He would then have to crush any _expectation_ coming from any direction. They would change its form and into the _burden_ he would have to shoulder alone. He would need to learn the methods of lies and deceits just so his secret would be safe, safely hidden behind the bricks of lies he would have to build.

And was he ready for that? Sunggyu didn't know.

Sunggyu was terrified of them. He had wished that they were only his pessimistic thoughts brewing out of nowhere. He had wished that they were only thoughts and would remain so for however longer. He had wished that they would never catch up even if they had been real, had been trying to haunt him. Sunggyu would’ve never thought that his pessimistic thoughts would take their forms so soon though—too soon for his heart to catch up.

 

Sunggyu had skipped his classes that day. His classmates hadn't witnessed the embarrassing scenario but he was certain that the news of him being rejected would have travelled to their ears by then. He didn't have the heart to see the looks of pity once again. Once was enough when he had seen it the first day he had returned to college. Twice would be so very embarrassing, especially when he didn't even have half the strength to go through this once again. Sunggyu had sighed, his eyes closed and a hand under his head as he lied down on the grand velvety piano in the deserted music room that only he had frequented.

He didn't even get to find out if Woohyun had attended class that day, hadn't even stepped one foot in his class because he hadn’t felt like doing so. But he hadn't needed to do so when he had heard the sound of the door being slid open. Sunggyu peeked his eyes open but had just remained still. He had a feeling that he knew who the intruder would be, hadn't actually need to see it to know it. He had heard the door slid closed, heard a few quiet steps before someone had pulled the small chair and seated themself on it.

"So you're skipping classes now?" The voice had sounded very familiar, a tone of teasing had laced the said words and Sunggyu just had to grunt at the other.

"Like you can actually say that to me." He scoffed and turned his body away from the seated male. Woohyun had laughed at the elder’s complaint, hadn’t even made the slightest effort to conceal it from the other.

"I heard that someone had been enquiring about me while I was gone. Can't wait to see me again, huh?" Sunggyu had particularly scowled at that because damned it all— _"That stupid emo kid!"_  He had to curse under his breath, even had to promise himself to choke that insanely handsome guy to death for telling on him. Sunggyu had huffed and shuffled in his position, had stressed on his body language that he hadn't wanted the other's presence around him.

"Well, obviously because someone had forgotten that he was supposed to take the freaking notes for the _blind_ guy." And Sunggyu _definitely_ had to hate himself a little when he noticed how sour he had sounded then when the word had left his lips. But the next words that came out of the other’s mouth weren’t what Sunggyu had wanted to hear though. It was far from it.

"I'm sorry." The apology was said. Sunggyu’s eyebrow had quirked at the other.

"Well, sorry wasn't going to fix my eye, was it?!" Sunggyu had hissed a little too loud then. He didn't know why but he had felt so mad at everything, had hated almost about everything that day. His mind couldn’t help but be reminded of the fact that Woohyun had been the sole trigger of the threads of all his misfortunes. It had only added fuel to the rage that was heating up in him. But Woohyun had his way to tame the rage. It almost felt like he knew which button to push and which was not when he had said the next words.

"I know." He had answered softly, remorseful. He knew his faults and mistakes, he had known them so well and he had made it a point to send across to the victim of his carelessness. Sunggyu had to sigh at that. He had wanted to be angry, had wanted to release all the anger and desperation building in him to the cause of it all. He had wanted to, but Woohyun was pouring water on his flaming rage.

How could he be mad when the other had done and said nothing other than an apology and an  _"I know"?_ He should've said something, should've pretended to be the _worst_ jerk ever even if he wasn't one, just so Sunggyu could get mad at him, just so he could _hate_  on him all he want. _But he wasn't._ The other had been anything but a jerk. And he couldn't do anything about it— couldn't even be mad at him for it. Why couldn’t he be mad at him? Isn’t that his right for being the victim? Sunggyu hadn't known the answer. He had known almost close to nothing these days and he definitely hated that part the most.

"Who are you?" Sunggyu had sat up and voiced out, had sounded quite resigned then. Or was it exhaustion that laced the words he had let out? He didn’t know.

"Everything had been a mess ever since you had appeared in my life, did you know that? I woke up from the longest sleep I had ever had and only to find out that half of my world was stolen from me by _that accident_. Then _you,_ you came back. You never appeared before when I was still confined to the hospital when you _should_ _have_ , so why are you here _now_? Why can't you understand that right now, seeing your face was the last thing I wanted? Why can't you see that every time I see you, the scar on my eye hurts so very much? Who are _you_ to change my life this much? Who are _you_ now that you even had the nerve to appear in my dream as well? Why can't I be free of you at all? Why are you sticking around me so much? I have too many questions to answer, had been all about you and guess what? I would never know the answer because I don’t have them.”

Sunggyu was close to tears then—very close because he had laid out his heart in the open. His eyes were fixed on the other’s, probably looking for the answers behind them. And Sunggyu knew there was something then, just something but _what_? He couldn’t decipher the look. Woohyun had only returned his questioning gaze with a warm one.

"I'm here to show you something, Sunggyu." He had returned all the questions with a single vague answer. Sunggyu dryly connected his eyebrows at the male.

"Show me what?" He had questioned back.

"Something that you've been missing your whole life behind the gift of your _eyes_." The answer had taken Sunggyu aback. He had blinked his eyes and swallowed whatever that was left at the back of his throat.

"You knew." Sunggyu had claimed. And Woohyun had only given him a nod.

"I do." He had said. The older had only huffed, hadn’t believe it because—

"You knew I'd lost The Eyes in that accident." It wasn't a question then but a statement. Woohyun's eyes were sad when he had said that, at least Sunggyu could decipher them that much.

"That's why I'm here. I’m going to show you that it doesn’t have to be only about _The Eyes,_  that there is more to it, just a whole lot more than that in _you_. I want to show you that it had always been _you_." And Sunggyu hadn’t known until that moment, that those words had been the words he had ever wanted to hear from someone, from _anyone_ because all his life, Sunggyu had thought that he had only  _The Eyes_ to him and nothing else. Just took _The Eyes_ from him and he would be left empty. So when he had heard those words directed for him, Sunggyu was tempted to listen to it.

"How?" He had asked instead. He was curious, just how would Woohyun done that? Just how would his life change had he understood that he was probably more than just _The Eyes_. _Sunggyu was curious again._

 

"Just let me stay close to you."

           

Sunggyu hadn’t known what had consumed him that day—maybe it was the warm smile Woohyun had on his face, maybe it was the confident look on his sharp feature as he gazed into the elder’s eyes, but his head had been a calm mess then. It was a mess but it was almost like the mess after a wild typhoon had passed. It was the kind of strange calmness after the storm. Everything had started to seem like it was finally falling into place even if it hadn’t even began to do so.

But Sunggyu had still felt it. Quietly, he blew out a weak puff of air, had turned his body around and had let his legs dangle by the side of the piano. He had looked directly into the confident eyes of the other, had surprisingly held his hand out to him and even more surprising when he had allowed the other to wrap his own fingers around his. Sunggyu was opening up, the door to his cold heart was creaking open— had only left Woohyun the honor of swinging them wide.

"Suit yourself." Sunggyu had muttered oh so quietly, eyes glancing everywhere before he felt himself being pulled off the piano and engulfed in the warmth of the other’s open arms. Nam Woohyun was a bundle of energy then. He was more than elated when Sunggyu had shown him the keyhole to his heart. Now what was left was only for him to find the key to it. Sunggyu however was more than startled then, eyes blinking confusedly— not quite taking in the sudden burst of energy that was coming from the other. Woohyun was way more than Sunggyu could decipher alone. He was an oddball—especially when he had all the sudden decided that they were close enough to drop the formality.

"You won't regret it, _Gyu_." He nicknamed the older. Well, it wasn’t like they even had that formality from the beginning anyway.

 

“I’ll show you. _Definitely_.”


	5. Killing the silence

#  Killing the silence 

When Kim Sunggyu had given a certain Nam Woohyun the permission to be in his life, he didn’t exactly mean for him to wreak it havoc, really. It had been a week and the only thing Sunggyu had realised was that it was almost as if his life was being haunted by the ghost and shadow of Nam Woohyun. At times, he just had to wonder just what had he signed himself into when the only way his life was going then was _down._

_"Just let me stay close to you."_

He had listened to the soothing voice of the other’s whisper the other day, letting the bud of curiosity grew as he marvelled just how on Earth would Nam Woohyun prove Sunggyu’s worth of existence just by being close to him. He had wondered the night he went home but Sunggyu had only the thought of regret the next morning when he first understood that his everyday life was going to make history every time a Nam Woohyun were to involve.

Nam Woohyun was a magnet of disaster, if Sunggyu could’ve exaggerated a little. The first week Woohyun was finally allowed to be by his side had actually turned out to be pretty normal, if not slightly weird by some turn of events honestly.

Sunggyu had woken up that next morning feeling somewhat refreshed, his chest light and his lips curled at the recollection of Woohyun’s warm words. He had dressed himself up nicely; set to take on the unfair world as he made his way to their college with fresh steps, only to harshly tumble into a firm body of flesh and muscles as he took a turn, his vacant eye hadn’t anticipated the incoming figure.

“Ooff!” Sunggyu had fell with a loud grunt, his bum sore from the impact and his pants wet from the puddle of water on the road.

“Yah!” He had yelled out, eyes wide as he felt the cold seeping through his skin, a glare immediately shooting up at the _kind_ perpetrator for having ruined his good morning. He would’ve screamed a lot more if it weren’t because he was rendered speechless the moment he had seen a grinning Nam Woohyun standing right in front of him.

_‘Why are you here?’_ He had meant to ask but the question had only remained in the form of thought as he found his lips momentarily paralysed. Sunggyu wouldn’t have guessed that he was not exactly ready to meet the other until it had actually happened.

Woohyun, still donning on his stupid grin, had quietly held out his hand for Sunggyu to take. The previous Kim Sunggyu would have slapped the hand away, cursing him for ruining his day, hissing that _he was more than capable to get up by himself_. But this wasn’t the previous Kim Sunggyu.

This was a new Kim Sunggyu whom had assented for Nam Woohyun to break into his life. So when the elder had placed his own hand into the other’s, Woohyun didn’t even bother to mask his stupid grin that was morphing into a full blown smile. He instead, held the hand tighter and pulled the man up, gaze straight onto the elder’s eyes as his smile turned brighter.

Sunggyu had to grumble and grimaced as he stood up, feeling the soaked fabric of his jeans sticking close to his skin. He let go of Woohyun’s hand as he inspected his pants.

“Yah, Nam Woohyun. You know you just ruined my jeans, right?” He griped as he glared at the other, Woohyun only shrugging it off with a nonchalant smile.

“It’s just jeans, Gyu. It’ll dry itself while we walk to college.” He had checked the poor and soaked garment out before he finally answered. He then looked up at the bright sky and winced at the glare of the sun, nodding his head as though he had just agreed to his own prior suggestion. Sunggyu wasn’t bothered by the obvious nonchalance though.

“We?” He had noticed instead, a small frown peeking onto his forehead. Woohyun bobbed his head, eyebrows raised as he blinked an innocent look.

“Yes, we.” He clarified.

“Wait, are you here because you were waiting for me?” Sunggyu had questioned as he narrowed his little eyes at the other. Woohyun’s own had only widened slightly, barely noticeable if the other hadn’t properly looked at him.

“What? No, I wasn’t. I’m not a stalker, Gyu.” He retorted yet Sunggyu had only shot him a suspicious stare before he rolled his eyes.

“It’s totally a coincidence!” He defended. “I promise!”

“Right.” Sunggyu had snorted before he shook his head and trudged away, leaving the other to trail his steps from behind.

“Wait, Gyu! Let’s walk together!” Woohyun had yelled, walking fast as he followed the other, yet maintaining a few steps behind as though he was waiting for something—something that was akin to permission maybe. But he needn’t to wait when the silence Sunggyu was letting on was already like an affirmation to him. Woohyun then gladly fell into steps right next to Sunggyu, body strangely pressed close together.

Their walk then was only a quiet trip, save for the soft humming of Woohyun while Sunggyu strangely found comfort while listening to it, until Sunggyu had suddenly thought of something and finally broke the silence himself.

“Hey, Stalker.” He had tilted his head to the other, Woohyun only humming back as he turned to match the movement. The elder then crossed his arms against his chest, raising an eyebrow at the latter as he began—

“I know I let you to be around, but I don’t remember saying you can call me by my name though?” He spoke, a look of challenge making its way onto his soft but stern feature. Woohyun though, hadn’t really taken up the challenge in Sunggyu’s words, replying the question with a tone of obliviousness.

“We’re friends. Friends don’t use formality.” He had answered, startling Sunggyu with it.

“Friends?” Sunggyu started. “Since when are we friends?”

“Uh, since yesterday? You said to do whatever I want, and I want to be your friend.”

“Hold on. I did say that, but being friends meant both consented to it. And I didn’t, so we’re not friends. Associates, maybe. But friends? Hey, don’t push your luck, Nam Woohyun.” Sunggyu’s words were somewhat strict, but there wasn’t any tone to prove the austerity. Instead, he had only seemed to be amused by Woohyun’s logic. And Sunggyu knew the latter hadn’t taken his words seriously if the small pout of his bottom lips was of any indication.

“Fine, then I’ll just call you Gyu hyung.” He had pushed the topic off, lips stretching from a pout to an adorable grin as he looked at the elder. Sunggyu frowned.

“Wha—no, that wasn’t even any better!” He had countered but the grin on Woohyun’s lips wasn’t going away and he knew then that the other wouldn’t even bother to give up his notion.

“Better than just Gyu right? Okay, Gyu hyung! I have to meet a friend now. I’ll see you in class?” Woohyun halted walking as he turned his body to the other, finger pointing to the direction of their class.

“Stop being so familiar! And no, we don’t really have to see each— yah!!” He yelped out loud, his small eyes growing impossibly large as he stared at the younger that was already grinning cheekily before stepping back.

“See, hyung? Your jean is totally dry now!” He claimed with a sudden wink before waving a hand and dashed off, avoiding the incoming insults and punches.

“Wha—you idiot stalker!” Sunggyu had shrieked. “Molester!!” His shout screeched in the air, Woohyun’s loud laughs barely reaching his ears as the other slow jogged to the other side of the building. It was then when he felt a hand sliding onto his shoulder, so when he turned his head to see the owner of the hand, he couldn’t really help the palm on his face as he groaned out load. _Lee freaking Sungyeol._

“Whoaa, Gyu! Did Nam Woohyun just slap your ass?” The lanky boy had commented, a creepy smirk already etched on his lips. Sunggyu just had to grunt again.

“Ugh, shut up, Yeol!” Scolded the elder before he smacked the hand away and stomped off into their class, eyes avoiding all the gawks he was receiving much thanks to Woohyun’s inappropriate action.

Sunggyu didn’t want to know if the heat on his face was because he had screamed or because the heat was actually getting to him – or maybe because of something else that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He had just hoped that it was _hate_ , but maybe hate was a little too strong of a word— _Dislike, dislike_ was probably the better description, and so he thought.

Yes, Sunggyu _didn’t like_ that slap on the ass.

“You totally liked it, Gyu.”

“Ughh!”

★★

It had been similar for the rest of that week then. Sunggyu would bump into Woohyun albeit not falling down the rest of the times, a pair of hands would always clung onto his arms— hadn’t let him fell even once. It was strange how many coincidences could happen in a week but Sunggyu wouldn’t want to question nor did he want to jinx it. For once, he appreciated Woohyun’s presence as they walked together from that junction despite the unsubtle, numerous skin contacts. For once after a while, Sunggyu hadn’t felt that strange tension whenever he walked through the junction. For a while then, he hadn’t felt the scar on his eye throbbing, hadn’t had flashbacks of the fated accident.

And Kim Sunggyu appreciated that – had _needed_ that comfort. He could really use a peaceful walk for once, and if that entailed a Nam Woohyun by his side, he wouldn’t really mind, if only Woohyun could keep his hands on himself only.

And yet, although that week had been quite uneventful— well, _weird_ as Woohyun kept assaulting him physically with back hugs and hair ruffling, but _bearable_ as Sunggyu got to strike the other back with punches and whacks, Sunggyu couldn’t really say the same thing for the week that came after. Everything had been sailing quite smoothly if Sunggyu would’ve dared to say, until the next Monday had came and Woohyun hadn’t shown himself up.

Sunggyu wouldn’t even bother to concern himself with his disappearance if this hadn’t already happened before. But it did and it made Sunggyu wondered the question _why?_ But Woohyun hadn’t gone missing for very long, save for a few days he had skipped before he had finally came back, surprising Sunggyu when the other had turned up during his hospital appointment out of the blue.

“Why are you here?” was the first question that escaped the elder as soon as he saw Nam Woohyun, a sheepish smile on his lips as he seated himself beside Sunggyu.

“Missed me?” But Woohyun had asked instead, ruffling Sunggyu’s hair as his eyes warmly gazed at the latter. Sunggyu could only gawk at the other, eyebrows joined close as a frown took over his look.

“Why are you here?” Sunggyu had shot the question again. He wasn’t in the mood to play games. Heck, he wasn’t in any mood at all because Woohyun was always like this, always did this to him—staying and bugging him like there was no tomorrow and disappearing like a wind whenever he wanted to, then appearing again out of nowhere as if there was nothing wrong with what he was doing to him. Sunggyu hated that. He didn’t know why or what he hated, but he just hated the fact that Woohyun’s disappearance was invading his mind and affecting his mood.

He was expecting a more reasonable answer when he had asked the question, really, but when Woohyun had answered, Sunggyu just felt like he was being ridiculed by the other. It was annoying and he had almost felt like pushing the younger off before hiding at a corner where Woohyun couldn’t see him. But he didn’t.

“I came to see you.” There was Woohyun’s simple answer but it wasn’t what the elder had wanted to hear so he glowered.

“Bullshit. How would you know I have an appointment today? You didn’t even come to class.” He snarled, glaring at the other.

“Um, Sungyeol kinda told me?” His voice was soft but questionable when he had answered. Sunggyu’s eyebrow had quirked at the answer.

“You were at the college?” Sunggyu probed but Woohyun hadn’t answered, had only smiled before he had his finger brushed Sunggyu’s stray hair away from his eye.

“Sungyeol told me you have an appointment today. What for?” The younger had asked instead softly, his eyes tracing up to Sunggyu’s damaged eye. There was something behind Woohyun’s look but Kim Sunggyu didn’t know what to put on it. It wasn’t pity nor was it sympathy; maybe there was a look of guilt behind it, yet Sunggyu wasn’t so sure if it was either. Kim Sunggyu couldn’t read the look Woohyun was radiating and it irked him to the point that he wanted to just wear an eye patch and hid his scarred eye forever.

Sunggyu had to look away, hadn’t liked the feeling of having his discernable eye under inspection.

“I’m removing the cast on my arm today.” Still, he answered. Woohyun’s gaze immediately dropped to Sunggyu’s casted arm then.

“It healed?” Asked the younger but Sunggyu had only shrugged.

“As much as it could I guess.” He told him.

“Why?”

“Well, the doctor did say before that there was a possibility that my hand wouldn’t return to its usual function.” Sunggyu had seemed indifferent then but Woohyun was already slightly frowning as he looked at the former.

“Hey, it will.” Woohyun tried to convince but Sunggyu had only briefly shaken his head.

“It’s not like I care.” He had spat. _I’ve lost the one thing that I treasured so much; losing another one_ _wasn’t the problem anymore._ He had thought as his eyes trailed to the casted arm. It wasn’t until a hand had slipped into Sunggyu’s, holding his numbed one when he realised that his hands were actually shaking. Sunggyu had looked up in an instant, and there was Nam Woohyun, curling a smile at the elder that the smile had almost sounded like it was saying that _everything would be okay_.

Sunggyu didn’t know if he could trust that smile though, but if anything, Sunggyu had already found his hands slowly relaxing, the trembling was barely noticeable there. He had only realised then, that Kim Sunggyu had actually _cared_ , that he was actually _terrified_ to find out if he’d lost another one.

It was only a moment of comforting silence later, his hand still in the other’s, did Sunggyu’s name was finally called before he felt his hand finally slipping away from the warmth. He noticed a nurse giving a small nod at him, motioning him to enter the room and Sunggyu turned to look at Woohyun. If Woohyun had noticed the slight fear in Sunggyu’s eyes, he probably hadn’t made it obvious when he had only blinked confused before he finally smiled and stood up, immediately walking by Sunggyu’s side as they entered the room together.

The doctor had greeted them, Sunggyu only replying with a meek nod as he took a seat across the doctor while Woohyun pulled a small chair to sit himself by his side. The doctor then explained the procedures of the cast removal, efficiently gathering all the necessary tools before finally initiating the first step to the process. Sunggyu wasn’t really afraid of the huge and dangerous look of the tools. No, Sunggyu was afraid of what came after.

The process took a bit longer than he expected before he finally felt cold air touching the skin of his right arm, the doctor then inspecting it carefully—hoping it had healed as much as he’d hoped. When the doctor had asked Sunggyu to do all sort of range of movements of his right arm though, he hadn’t really expected to find them so difficult to do so.

“It felt numb.” He had answered when the doctor had suddenly asked how his arm had felt. Sunggyu was already frowning then, eyes focused on his own arm as he struggled to move it around. He hadn’t realised the breath he was holding in until the doctor had asked him to do so.

“Breathe, Sunggyu. Breathe.” He told the other. Sunggyu had quietly let out a huge huff before he began to breath again—his face had flushed madly as he suddenly found the task at hand just so very exhausting.

When the doctor had asked him to repeat the movements again, Sunggyu was almost about to give up, almost whining that _he couldn’t do this_ , that _it was too difficult_. Yet when he felt a warm hand was holding his functioning one and long fingers lacing through his, Sunggyu took a look at the man and saw that encouraging look on Woohyun’s face. _You can do it;_ Sunggyu had almost felt the words emanating from the firm grasp of his hand.

Sunggyu then inhaled a longer breath in and slowly releasing it out before he tried the movements again. They weren’t any less difficult than before, but his arm was moving better, and it was all worth the struggle if it meant his arm would perform better. His arm was moving and that was the only thing that mattered then.

The doctor had praised his effort, had mentioned that his arm was doing better than he expected, that he needed several more physiotherapy sessions before his arm could fully function as it used to. But that didn’t matter. All Sunggyu needed to know then was that he would have his arm again, that he hadn’t lost his arm, and that he could play his piano as well as he used to before.

“Yes, Sunggyu. You will be able to play the piano again.” The doctor had reassured him with a huge smile and Sunggyu was already mirroring his look.

Sunggyu hadn’t felt that happy for a long time, probably a few months, and he could already feel the happiness emanating through his whole body when he had turned to look at the younger, Sunggyu’s own hand tightening the grasp on Woohyun’s as he beamed at the latter.

Sunggyu had wanted to say something, to express the joy, to tell the world how happy he was, but he couldn’t. The words in his head were a mess, he didn’t know where to begin or how he should even begin, but when Woohyun had swooped him into his arms, hugging him as tight as he could, Sunggyu knew that the words in his head had already reached the younger then.

“I’m glad, hyung. I’m really glad.” Woohyun had whispered, his nose nuzzling against Sunggyu’s neck as he felt the heat radiating from his whole body. Kim Sunggyu hadn’t realised though, that he was already hugging the other back until the doctor had cleared his throat and grabbed their attention.

The both of them had immediately pulled away, both faces had flushed fervently as they flustered through the doctor’s explanation about the care of his hand as well as his next appointment. Sunggyu nodded his head to show that he understood before he had bid the doctor farewell and finally took their exit.

It was only afternoon when they had left the hospital, agreeing that it was still early to go home before they silently made a trip back to their college. There was an awkward silence hanging between them but neither had tried any effort to break it, hadn’t known what to say in such situation where both of them were still reminded and embarrassed of their previous and sudden embrace.

But they didn’t really need to do anything when a bicycle had suddenly came through, almost colliding the unsuspecting Sunggyu if it wasn’t for Woohyun’s swift reflex of pulling the elder close to his side.

“Hey! What the heck?!” The younger had cursed as he growled at the disappearing culprit before he turned to Sunggyu with a concerned look.

“Hyung, are you okay? The bicycle didn’t hit you, right?” He had asked, but Sunggyu was too perplexed to form any answer so he had only shook his head, Woohyun releasing a relieved sigh the moment he saw the response.

“That was really dangerous, you know. That stupid kid really needs to be educated. You could’ve gotten hurt!” He had nagged loudly but Sunggyu hadn’t known what to say back. He could only flicker his eyes, gaze still fixated in the direction of the bicycle.

“Hyung, you sure you’re okay?” Woohyun had asked again when he realised Sunggyu wasn’t responding as usual. Sunggyu could only nod then before tugging the younger to walk with him. The latter, feeling concerned, had swiftly changed their position before he took the elder’s hand in his. Sunggyu looked at the intertwined hands with a frown.

“For precaution measure.” He had said while holding up the connected hands, a small smile on his lips, and his ears rosy despite displaying a nonchalant look. Usually Kim Sunggyu would’ve noticed such unsubtle move of having skin contact, would’ve shoved the other away while yelling _‘stalker!’_ or ‘ _molester!’,_ would’ve rejected any form of skinship with the younger, but this time, Sunggyu just couldn’t.

Because once again, Kim Sunggyu was thrust with the fact that he was a handicap, that at least half of his vision was blind. And he knew if it hadn’t been for Nam Woohyun then, he would’ve ended up back in the hospital once more. Funny, because Woohyun was the one reason he was blind in the first place. Now Woohyun was the one who would keep him from the scent of antiseptic again.

Sunggyu had wanted to laugh at how stupid everything was— his life, his fate, and his karma. Yet he hadn’t, not because it was useless, but because he had felt a squeeze on his hand, because Woohyun had pulled on their joint hands and stared at them as if he wouldn’t ever let go.

And Sunggyu had forgotten all about the dark thoughts then— a dust of pink had shaded his cheeks as he looked away, secretly curling a small smile he hadn’t realised he had.

★★

Sunggyu was walking around in the cafeteria, looking for a certain lanky boy when he had heard an octave-too-high voice booming from his right.

“Hey, Sunggyu! Over here!” Sunggyu narrowed his eyes, scanning for the owner of the voice through the crowded dining area before he finally pulled a smile on and headed over, pulling another guy with him. Woohyun just dutifully followed while his eyes were scanning the crowd for his own and only friend.

“Hey, Yeol.” Sunggyu had greeted before taking a seat in front of the said boy, eyebrows joint close when he realised Woohyun was still standing, seemingly still looking for someone he was sure was named Kim Myungsoo.

“Yah, sit.” He had commanded before tugging at their intertwined hands, which of course had only warranted the coy look on Sungyeol’s face.

“Woah, Gyu. Since when were you guys official? Am I the last one to know? How could you!” The other had feigned the look of hurt. Sunggyu’s eyes widened at the comment, a blush creeping onto his face before he had quickly disconnected their hands, words stuttering as he protested.

“We did not! Stop assuming stupid things, you pervert!” He had spluttered. “Yah, Nam Woohyun! Would you sit? You’re being an eyesore now.” He demanded once again, harshly tugging onto Woohyun’s arm until he actually sat himself by his side.

“Yah, stupid tree. If you’re looking for Myungsoo, don’t bother.” Sungyeol had spoken when he had noticed Woohyun’s wandering eyes. The latter casted a brief glance at him before he continued his searches, muttering a quiet “ _as if”._ Sungyeol rolled his eyes at the rude remark before he knocked on the table to catch Woohyun’s attention.

“He’ll be here, stupid tree. He just went to buy his steak.” Informed the long-limbed boy.

“And how’d you know?” Woohyun had asked with a puzzled look while Sunggyu too had gaped at the other, curious to find out as well.

“Well, his stuffs are here so I would assume he would want to come back here to have them back.” He replied while pointing a finger at a dark-colour bag on the table. Sunggyu’s tiny eyes expanded at that, a cheeky grin donning his lips then.

“Oh god, Sungyeol. I know you like him a bit too much, but stealing his bag? That’s going a bit stalker-ish, don’t you think?” Sunggyu had teased, liking the dark red that was colouring his friend’s skin.

“Yah! I didn’t steal his bag! He left it here, okay?” The other barked back, bulging his eyes out because heck – _Don’t say that in front of Myungsoo’s best friend, you idiot!_ But Sunggyu had only chortled heartily, didn’t even care that Sungyeol was shooting daggers at him while Woohyun had one of his eyebrow quirked up at the declaration.

“And since when did you and Myungsoo hang out with each other? Last time I remember, you guys weren’t even friends.” Woohyun commented, inquisitive but Sungyeol hadn’t needed to answer when someone else had answered for him.

“Since you always went missing and Sunggyu kept asking me about you, you stupid mongrel. Where have you been, you idiot?” Myungsoo had unexpectedly joined in, placing the tray of his food on the table before sliding into his place next to Sungyeol. Sungyeol shot him a look of gratitude before he actually dared to stick his tongue out at Woohyun mockingly. But Woohyun didn’t care. The only thing he had cared was the fact that Sunggyu had been asking about him while he was gone.

“He did?” Woohyun’s eyes had brightened up a little too much for Sunggyu’s liking.

“I didn’t!” The elder had protested, shaking his head vigorously.

“You totally did! You kept pestering me to pester on Myungsoo to ask where Woohyun was!” Sungyeol had gladly briefed in. Sunggyu’s eyes went wide at that because – _you cannot go and expose your best friend’s secrets! Especially not to a Nam Woohyun!_

But did Sungyeol care? No, he didn’t. Revenge was clearly evident in his mischief-laden look.

“Yah! I _so_ did not pester anyone about that!” He tried bluffing, eyes glancing at the other until he saw a cheeky smile on Woohyun’s face. “And Nam Woohyun, just stop with your shit-eating grin!!” He had scolded instead when he realised he wasn’t going to live this down. Woohyun was still showing off his grin when he began his teasing—

“Hyung, you don’t have to hide it, you know. You know you missed me.” Sungyeol had only worsened everything out when he had poured oil to the fire of his embarrassment.

“He totally did! If only you were there to see Sunggyu’s look of – ouch!” Sungyeol had yelped in pain, rubbing the part where Sunggyu had kicked under the table. But that didn’t stop Sungyeol from laughing a little too boisterously at Sunggyu’s heated face, Myungsoo chuckling at the two’s antics while Woohyun had looked a little too pleased over the whole ordeal. Sunggyu could only hid his face behind his hand before grabbing Sungyeol’s file to fan himself. Suddenly, the air-conditioned hall had felt a little too hot for Kim Sunggyu but at least, Sungyeol had kept quiet save for his booming and annoying laughter.

It took them a while before the roaring hilarity finally settled down, Sungyeol happily wiping away the happy tears from the corner of his eyes before he gulped down his drink, throat sore from laughing too much. Sunggyu thought the teasing would’ve finally stopped when he saw Myungsoo digging in his food while Woohyun headed to buy their own share of food. But it was really stupid of him to think that the teasing would ever stop when Sungyeol had only just began—

“So, why the hand holding?” Sunggyu had to groan again before slapping a hand on his forehead, Myungsoo smirking at the question asked.

“Would you drop that? He was just helping me while we were walking.” Sunggyu explained, rolling his eyes when Sungyeol’s smirk had only worsened.

“By holding hands?” The other narrowed his eyes, suspicious but still smirking. Sunggyu really hadn’t felt like answering the question because honestly, Sunggyu didn’t exactly feel good about that incident. He had almost forgotten about the accident if it wasn’t because Sungyeol had reminded him of it. But the look on Sungyeol’s face told him that he wasn’t going to drop the question until he got the answer he wanted to hear, so Sunggyu tried his best to answer without revealing too much of his feelings.

“Well,” he began. “I nearly collided myself with a speeding bicycle because I freaking couldn’t see it coming, so yeah, by holding hands.” He had meant to sound casual but his own mouth had already failed him when the words that came out had sounded a bit bitter than he intended to. Sunggyu was glad though when Sungyeol hadn’t pressed too much further, the look on his face morphed from teasing to concern in a split second when he had heard the situation.

“Were you okay?” He had asked instead and Sunggyu could only smile then, nodding.

“Yeah, don’t worry. There weren’t any injuries. Woohyun kinda saved me there. Thanks for asking anyway.” Sungyeol had nodded, hadn’t probed any further as he let the silence took over them, taking another sip of his drink while Myungsoo had continued eating his food. It was minutes later when Woohyun had finally returned with two plates of fried rice, quietly taking in their food until Myungsoo had decided to fill in the silence.

He had coughed, clearing his throat before he started. “Hey, we forgot to tell you guys something.” Sunggyu and Woohyun immediately looking up from their plates, paying attention while Sungyeol wondered the reason Myungsoo had used the word _we._

“What?” One of them had responded, their curiosity now piqued.

“Mr. Kang made an announcement this morning.” Myungsoo had begun to fill in, lighting up a small bulb in Sungyeol’s little head as he did so.

“Oh yes, about that!” He chirped in, the excitement was quite evident if that wide stretch of his lips was of any indication.

“What announcement?” Sunggyu had urged, impatient then.

“Our class is going on a trip this weekend!” Sungyeol had gleefully announced instead of Myungsoo, waiting for at least an eruption of thunderous claps from the other two but was slightly disappointed when he was only greeted with a startled “ _what?”_

“I said, our class is going for a trip to Jeonju, Gyu! It’s your old hometown, remember?” Sungyeol had reminded the eldest of them. But Sunggyu was still trying to process the abrupt news while Woohyun had already stopped eating, hadn’t exactly look delighted upon hearing the unexpected plan.

“Wow, that’s a bit too sudden, isn’t it?” The latter had remarked, putting down the spoon in his hand as he casted a few glances at Sunggyu’s way.

“It’s not sudden, Woohyun. We’ve been discussing about this for a while now actually. You guys just didn’t know because one is too busy going MIA while another is just too occupied wondering where the other had been.” Myungsoo had interrupted, had obviously smirked when he had heard the sound of Sunggyu choking and had seen the red growing under Woohyun’s skin. Sungyeol however had sat impressed, bobbing a nod of approval as he stared at Myungsoo a few seconds too long.

“Wow, Myungsoo. I didn’t know you had the inner sarcasm in you.” He commented, proud. Myungsoo though, had to blink his eyes stumped, because he really didn’t know what to make of such comment.

“Uh, thanks?” He had expressed instead before shrugging the weird feeling off.

“Well, ok then. Thanks for telling us anyway.” Woohyun had told them, face still slightly flushed as he picked up the spoon again to finish what was left on his plate. But Sungyeol wasn’t letting them to when he had softly slammed two hands on the table, showing off an oddly huge grin as he flickered his eyes. _Oh no, Sunggyu knew that look._

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I’m so excited?” Sungyeol had spoken expectantly and Sunggyu could only roll his eyes while Woohyun had seemed a little clueless with the sudden mystery. Myungsoo otherwise wouldn’t even bother as he chewed on the straw.

“Can we please not?” Sunggyu had pleaded; shaking his head desperately while Woohyun just frowned.

“Ask away, now, Woohyun!” Sungyeol waved a hand at the said boy. Woohyun, still clueless of what was to come, had just complied then albeit unwillingly.

“So why are you _sooo_ excited, Sungyeol?” He had made sure to press on the sarcasm. Sungyeol took the question as a cue before he exploded in a loud and chirpy voice—

“That’s because all of us had been assigned into a group for the trip!” He gladly briefed them in, Sunggyu’s eyes growing larger if that was even possible for his tiny eyes.

“Wait, all of us? Don’t tell me—“ Sunggyu’s sentence was left hanging when his best friend had readily interrupted.

“Yep! The four of us with the additional of Jinyoung and Mark!” He had declared delightfully. Sunggyu had to groan at the information while Woohyun had only sneaked a small smile in, finally seeming to take in the news of the sudden trip quite well.

“Oh my god. No.” Sunggyu had already sunk his forehead onto the table, had only begun to question his luck of having stuck with them for the few days of their trip. But that wasn’t the last of the bad news he was going to hear. No, there was more, really.

“And guess what? You and Woohyun get to share a room while I get to share with Myungsoo!” Sungyeol had squawked excitedly, hands clapping before he chanced a glance at Myungsoo who seemed pretty unimpressed himself.

“What?!” _Okay, that—he definitely wasn’t ready for,_ Sunggyu had thought, jaw left hanging as he gawked at Sungyeol. Woohyun on the other hand had looked pretty content, and Sunggyu definitely detested a contented Woohyun. _Definitely not!_

“But Yeol—“

“No, Gyu. You can’t change the arrangement. Teacher’s word.” He had wiggled a finger, shaking his head a firm _“no”._ Sunggyu immediately glared at the other because he had known Sunggyu almost half his life, he had more than understood the schematic side of Sungyeol. Kim Sunggyu was pretty sure there was something fishy with the sound of the trip.

“Bullshit.” He had cursed under his breath.

And the villainous of Sungyeol’s laughter was more than enough to convince Sunggyu of it.

Yes, Kim Sunggyu definitely had a shitty friend indeed.


	6. Filling the gap

#  Filling the gap 

If Kim Sunggyu had ever the thought of Lee Sungyeol being a shitty guy for a friend, he was gravely mistaken. No, Lee Sungyeol was even _shittier_ than that, he was sure of that. Why did he even bother to convince himself otherwise? Kim Sunggyu didn’t really know. He was stupid to even think for one millisecond that Lee Sungyeol might be innocent for the mishaps the former had been thrust into then.

Lee fucking Sungyeol was the harbinger of his misery—if only Kim Sunggyu could rid of him forever but whom was he kidding? Kim Sunggyu was unfortunately Lee Sungyeol’s bestest friend and getting rid of the latter would be as difficult as getting a permanent tattoo off—it’s almost _impossible_.

Sunggyu didn’t really mind the fact that his best friend had signed his name into the list of those going for the trip without his consent. No, he was fine with that. He didn’t really mind too that the other had suggested to the whole class to go to Jeonju because— “ _Sunggyu had been through a lot these past few months so, it’d be great if he could run away from reality for awhile and go back to reminisce his old childhood”,_ he had generously elaborated with a drop of fake tear down his cheek when in fact, Sungyeol had just wanted to go there because _he could_. But Sunggyu was fine with that too.

What Sunggyu hadn’t been fine about though, was the fact that Sungyeol had abused his power as a favourite student of Mr. Kang to let _him_ organise the trip. Well, it was only a three days and two nights trip, really— the trip wasn’t exactly restricted to very much rules, student were even allowed to arrange their own itinerary as long as they had remained within the agreed theme of the trip being _Memory_ , save for those few rules that had been emboldened just for the sake of _student’s safety_ :

**1\. No alcohol during the trip**

**2\. Curfew at ten p.m.**

**3\. See rule #1**

If Sunggyu were to be honest, the whole idea of the trip hadn’t sound all that unscrupulous really— if only an idiotic Lee Sungyeol hadn’t bribed Mr. Kang and had specifically recommended himself to design their group’s itinerary for the whole trip. The elder wanted to scoff so bad when they had received their so-called itinerary, Mark frowning confusedly when he faced unbelievable difficulties translating Sungyeol’s unique handwriting into coherent sentences while Woohyun, Myungsoo and Jinyoung could only pat Mark’s back—trying their best to convince the innocent boy that it hadn’t been his fault for not understanding such bizarre language even if he was originally a non-Korean.

Sunggyu had honestly dreaded of how their trip would pan out that weekend, luckily Myungsoo had developed a very rare yet useless talent when he had somehow adept to understanding the alien writing of Lee Sungyeol, helping them through their first day with only some troubles. Their destinations that day were mostly those of a typical trip fortunately. Kim Sunggyu couldn’t say that it was the same for the second day though.

Saying that it was a disaster would be the nicest way to describe their travel, really. Yet the only reason Sunggyu was putting up with every ordeal he’d been put through was because he had indeed missed his old hometown and he didn’t want to upset Mark who had came unto him with so much glee knowing that Sunggyu was going to be the greatest tour guide for them – the promise was of course on the unnecessary courtesy of Lee freaking Sungyeol.

If Kim Sunggyu were to pick a leaf off each time he had cursed his fate because of a Lee Sungyeol, the former was convinced that the Earth would’ve been bald even before the apocalypse could hit them.

But who was he to deny his fate? After all, Kim Sunggyu was only human who’d lost the Heaven’s blessing.

 

That evening of their surprisingly-decent-first-day though, Sungyeol being the self-appointed leader had went up to their teacher-in-charge and had received three separate key cards for their travel group, had emphasised their supposed room arrangement for the rest of the trip and had even dared to wink at Sunggyu before both Myungsoo and him had entered their own room just across Sunggyu’s.

Sunggyu’s jaw had lagged at the insinuation. Had Lee Sungyeol forgotten that both Sunggyu and him had once hated Nam Woohyun so very bad for what he had caused the elder? Had he forgotten that night when both of them had their heartfelt conversation bordering around derogating that certain Nam Woohyun? Had he forgotten it all that he actually had the nerve to wink and even whispered an inaudible _“don’t be too loud”_ to the elder?

Kim Sunggyu had thought that it was very incredulous of him to do so even if _the anger_ Sunggyu had harboured for the brown-haired boy was beginning to dissipate much to his chagrin. But that hadn’t meant that he had forgotten everything. Heck, he didn’t even know if he had actually _forgiven_ the younger or not. The only thing Sunggyu had done was accepting Woohyun’s presence in his life, yet never had it ever crossed the elder’s mind about forgiving his deed. After all, accepting the reality of such unavoidable blunder did not exactly equate to forgiveness, did it?

The elder could only huffed a reluctant sigh as he dragged himself into the room; Woohyun towing from behind with an idiotic smile that Sunggyu had certainly failed to notice as his back was turned on the other. The latter had taken a brief look at the spacious room before he finally dared a small smile.

Well, at least his lanky friend still had the decency of giving them a room with two separate beds. Sunggyu wouldn’t even dare himself to think of the many possible _if_ s had they shared the same bed and in the same room—all _alone_. Sunggyu quickly shook the thought away as he shivered, shaking off the images of having two guys in the same bed, skin upon skin as they cramped in the comfy space. _No, stop._

“Hyung?” The younger had voiced out, pulling Sunggyu out of whatever forbidden thoughts he was having then. The said guy had only flickered his eyes before he faced the other; an almost inaudible _“what?”_ had barely left his lips then as he felt heat creeping under his skin at the thought of being caught imagining things that initially weren’t even supposed to be imagined.

“You okay?” Woohyun had asked instead, a faint frown defining his sharp feature as he looked at the elder with concern. Sunggyu had only nodded his head, his eyebrows knitted, equally confused with the unexpected, sudden apprehension. Woohyun swiftly shook his head, a soft smile making its way to his lips as he gazed at Sunggyu’s thrown look.

“You’ve always been like that, you know.” Woohyun started, the other’s frown digging deeper at the unforeseen statement.

“Like what?” Questioned the elder when he saw the look on Woohyun— like he was studying Sunggyu, peeling each layer of his wall off with every gaze he had let on. Kim Sunggyu didn’t exactly feel comfortable, had felt so very exposed and naked as Woohyun’s eyes were kept on him.

“Like you’re always in a daze.” Woohyun had responded before he took his time walking over towards Sunggyu and dipped his bum into the bed just across the elder, his own eyes then looking up into the other’s. “Your eyes would look far but had seemed like you weren’t really looking too far out. You look like you were, I don’t know— thinking maybe. Sometimes you look like you were dreaming too.”

Well, to say Kim Sunggyu was startled would be an understatement really, because he certainly hadn’t expected such brazen words coming from a Nam Woohyun. He would never have thought that the younger would notice something so indiscernible, something that Sunggyu believed was irrelevant because it was only beginning to become a habit then. Yet Woohyun had noticed and the elder didn’t know if the tingle in his tummy was because he was gladly surprised or because he had felt valued. Sunggyu had only shrugged though, looking down—straight into Woohyun’s eyes.

“Well, that’s because I am.” He had replied before he too, had sat himself on the bed opposite of the other, their knees then grazing against.

“What of?” Woohyun questioned again yet Sunggyu could only look amused at him then.

“You are one curious guy, you know that right?” Said the latter, more of a statement rather than a pure question.

“Yeah, have been told that before.” Woohyun had said out loud. “But only with those who matters.” He had continued with a soft whisper, quiet enough that Sunggyu had to strain his ears to hear what was being said, and gentle enough to show that he hadn’t meant for the elder to hear them in the first place.

“What were you thinking of, usually?” Asked the younger of the two before he took Sunggyu’s numbed arm and began massaging the tense muscle, recalling the doctor’s précised direction from the previous appointment as he did so.

“It doesn’t used to be _thinking_ , you know. My head, my vision had always been occupied with streaks of the future’s moving pictures. I didn’t even have any time to go thinking about each of them because there were just so many.” He had begun, eyes looking out the window as he gazed at the waving leaves on a tree branch just outside the frame, feeling the tense of his muscle slowly going away.

“But you already know that I don’t see them anymore, not for now anyway. And suddenly, I just found myself with so much free time, so many things to think about, and so many emotions to fare with.” Sunggyu then turned his head, only to catch himself drowning in the sea of Woohyun’s earnest gaze. The meaning behind them were as though he had wanted the other to continue his words, that he was listening. And continue he did then.

“I haven’t felt so many emotions all at once in a long time, you know. I don’t even remember when was the last time I felt antsy, when was the last time I’ve ever been surprised, the last time I’ve ever truly felt scared or sad because I’ve always anticipated everything beforehand. It was only a flicker away— just a flicker and I would know everything.”

“Then, I just _stopped_ feeling. Stupid, wasn’t I? I just stopped being a human. Did you know I didn’t even bat a lash when I found out that a cousin of mine had almost committed suicide? Because I already knew that she wouldn’t succeed, that the rope she was hoping to end her life with was brittle and that it wouldn’t be able to hold her weight. Everyone was so scared, had dreaded the possibility of losing someone they cared but I wasn’t, because I would always know who would stay and who wouldn’t.” Sunggyu had felt his numbed fingers trembling so he quickly took them into his functioning one, hiding the trembling within the tight grasp of his own.

“And now that I don’t have that luxury anymore, I just suddenly find myself very scared of living. I wasn’t scared of dying, but I was scared of living and not knowing what the future had for me.” He stopped, eyes glistening as tears threatened to fall down. All those while he was pouring his heart out, he hadn’t really realized that he had actually averted his eyes from Woohyun’s. It was only when he noticed the heavy silence hanging between them did he realize that Woohyun hadn’t uttered even a single word then. And it sent Sunggyu into an edge—suddenly apprehensive of what the younger had thought of him now that he knew how empty of a shell the other was.

“Sunggyu,” Woohyun had begun, startling the said guy with a tone he wasn’t really used to. The moment he heard his name being said, all of the sudden, Sunggyu felt fear coursing through him, he had feared what Woohyun had been waiting to say. He was scared. He didn’t want to hear how inhumane Sunggyu had been from someone so gentle like Woohyun. Almost immediately, the elder had shot up from the bed and patted his sweaty palms against his jean, startling Woohyun when he had pulled his numbed arm away from Woohyun’s soft touches.

“Forget it. Sorry, I don’t really know what got into me.” He stuttered out, glanced at the time before he evaded the topic. “Look, it’s already 8 o’clock. Let’s have dinner. I’m sure Sungyeol would assault our door any soon.” He had said, hoping it would stop the conversation but Woohyun hadn’t want to when he called the elder again.

“Hyung.” He said, was just about to open his mouth to convey something Sunggyu hadn’t wanted to hear when they suddenly heard endless and countless of knocks raking against their door. Sunggyu’s eyes flickered for a while before he forced a smile; God only knew how grateful he was for helping him out.

“Uh, that’s Yeol. That’s our cue. Why don’t we go now.” He had dismissed, avoided the other’s eyes, as he hastily turned on his feet, just so very impatient to get himself out of that suffocating room. But Woohyun just wouldn’t let him when he had suddenly grabbed Sunggyu’s wrist, took a few small steps before the latter had found Woohyun’s gaze in front of him, the latter’s hand slowly sliding down from his wrist to interlock with his hand.

“Hyung, have you ever wondered why I wanted to stay close to you?” Woohyun’s voice was of a borderline whisper then. Sunggyu could almost feel the other’s warmth on his skin despite the several inches gap between their faces. And the elder couldn’t help but notice the word Woohyun had used then— _wanted._ It wasn’t that Woohyun had _needed_ to stay but he had _wanted_ to, and it left a warm feeling pooling in his chest as he realised the depth of such word.

Yet Sunggyu had only shaken his head then, sighing as he looked away. “I told you before and I’m telling you again now. _You_ are the questions that I have been having in my head lately and I just can’t seem to find the answers to them, not by myself at least.”

“You already have the answer, hyung. You just didn’t know you had it all along.”

“What?”

“Hyung, those doubt in your heart, the ones you had convinced yourself to believe in,” Woohyun had said. “I’m here to prove them wrong.”

“To prove _what_ wrong?”

“That you’re only a shell.” Sunggyu had blinked at the other, baffled. “You’re more than that hyung. You’re alive and your heart is still beating, and it’s bleeding. But we’ll fix that up— _together_.”

And Sunggyu had noticed, at the sound of the word _together_ , that the scar on his eye had suddenly throbbed. And just as soon, he had noticed again, that Nam Woohyun’s thumb was already gently caressing the skin just beneath that eye.

And for the first time, Sunggyu hadn’t felt like pulling away, hadn’t felt like slapping the hand away, and hadn’t felt like hiding the scar that he was very ashamed of.

And despite the ridiculous sound of it, Kim Sunggyu had found comfort in Woohyun’s touch.

 

“Okay… So, done with the lovey-dovey act now?” A voice had suddenly interrupted then. Surprised and flustered, Sunggyu could only regret it afterwards when he had already shoved the younger off and Woohyun had already toppled onto his bum, face wincing at the painful impact.

“Y- Yeol!” Sunggyu squeaked in surprise, hadn’t expected anyone to be in the room when he was very sure that Woohyun had locked the door when he had entered just before.

“Myungsoo?” Woohyun frowned at the two figures hovering at the entrance.

“How the heck did you get in?” The brown-haired guy glowered at the two, probably pissed at the lack of privacy when things were going a bit— _private_ if they had to say so. Myungsoo had only shrugged the pointed look off before pointing a thumb at the long-limbed guy besides him.

“Sungyeol has an extra key of your room.” He briefly explained. Both Woohyun’s and Sunggyu’s eyes had widened at the unexpected info.

“What?!” Sungyeol swiftly threw them a defensive look when he realised the glares he was receiving.

“Hey, I just need it for security purpose, ok? Just in case Woohyun was going to pound on my beloved best friend and kidnap him for good.”

“If you were so worried then, you shouldn’t have put us in the same freaking room, you stupid giant!” Sungyeol though, had only gasped a bit too loud then, had even sported a look of insulted at the elder’s _accusation_ but Sunggyu knew better than to fall for his act.

“How could you, Gyu! I didn’t put you guys together! It was Mr. Kang!” Sungyeol had protested, melodramatically placing a hand over his chest as he pouted at the rest of them. Sunggyu had only snorted at the blatant act before he rolled his eyes— _like anyone would believe that shit._

“Yeah, right.” He retorted, sarcastic. But if Sungyeol had actually heard the _sarcasm_ in his tone, the lanky guy probably didn’t really care when a smirk had made its way to his lips as he eyed the both of them.

“Well, at least you guys get to have two separate beds.” Said the guy as he wiggled his eyebrows, suggestive.

“You—“

“Though I doubt they’re going to use both now.” Sunggyu’s face had only reddened even worse when Myungsoo had decided to play along, Woohyun bulging his eyes out as he gaped at his own best friend.

“Awh, Myung, I’m starting to feel like our chemistry is off the chain now.”

 

 

 


	7. Recalling the forgotten

# Recalling the forgotten

The night spent afterward was quite hectic though. Mark and Jinyoung had joined the table later on, loudly complaining about having had to share the same bed for two nights, only to elicit supressed giggling which rapidly morphed into full volume of laughter as both Sungyeol and Myungsoo had unsubtly ogled at the other two’s flushed faces. Mark and Jinyoung swiftly nagged the laughing two to let them in the fun.

The both of them had cackled even harder when Myungsoo struggled in between his hiccups, teasing as he basked himself in the glory of seeing a flustered Woohyun. _“Why don’t you swap rooms with Sunggyu and Woohyun then? We’re sure they’d like that.”_ He had said, guffawed even louder afterwards as he clutched unto his hurting tummy. Mark and Jinyoung were probably way too innocent when the both of them had turned expectantly to the blushing messes, genuinely asking if they could, to which Sunggyu had vigorously shook his head while spluttering a loud _“no!”_ Woohyun didn’t even have any strength left to deny nor refuse the hopeful looks Mark and Jinyoung had given them then.

The next day however, was even more of a mess than the night before, if Sunggyu were to size it up. They had all woken up that morning in Mark and Jinyoung’s room, limbs tangled everywhere as they laid all over the floor, recalling that night when he was forced to play some stupid mafia game until they had all somehow fallen asleep at some time, and Sunggyu unexpectedly woken up being spooned by Jinyoung while Woohyun had already long gone, missing from the room.

Kim Sunggyu’s chest had oddly tightened at the thought that Woohyun had disappeared on him again, only to brighten up when he saw that certain someone was in their own room, dressing himself up, his hair wet from the shower. The elder went up to Woohyun, had wanted to scold the other and maybe sulk for a bit for leaving him behind, for not waking him up, but Woohyun had only downright stared at him before throwing him a brief, odd smile and told the other that—

“You were sleeping soundly. I didn’t want to wake you up.” Sunggyu failed to hide the frown on his forehead when he had heard the flat tone of Woohyun’s voice. Yet deciding not to probe further, he had dismissed it, assuming that it was probably still a bit too early for jokes and sulking.

But it hadn’t stopped then.

It was only after a long and chaotic breakfast later when they finally found themselves walking around the town. Sungyeol, being the navigator to find the place that he had decided they would all have to visit, had somehow led them to several wrong turns before they finally admitted that they were lost in an unfamiliar place. But getting lost was the last thing Sunggyu was concerned about. No, it had been Nam Woohyun, it would always be him that was dominating the large space of his mind.

If Woohyun ever had the thought that he was being subtle about avoiding him, then he really should’ve think again. It was almost becoming a routine— Sunggyu had thought. Woohyun had always been following the elder closely, would always sit himself beside the other even before Sungyeol or anyone else could do so. He would walk with him, would go wherever Sunggyu was heading to and would never even once left the elder’s vision without his knowledge.

So when Sunggyu had often found the space besides him empty that day, or he just couldn’t seem to locate the younger within what was left of his vision, the elder had felt so very frustrated. Sungyeol and Myungsoo had seemed to notice the sudden change, seemed to be understanding when they had made sure to stay close to Sunggyu. They knew that the current half-blind Sunggyu had tended to attract misfortunes lately and knowing how clumsy the elder could get, Sungyeol had refused to leave his side for longer than a minute. The latter would definitely blame himself if his best friend were to get hurt while Woohyun was being odd and had apparently decided to walk several steps behind.

Sunggyu would be lying if he said he wasn’t upset with the abrupt change. In fact, he was already dwelling on the idea of asking Woohyun about the sudden difference, hadn’t liked the emptiness he was feeling when it had only been yesterday when Sunggyu had finally felt something filling him in. Yet the odds had seemed to favour him that day when Mark, Jinyoung and him had unexpectedly been separated from the others somewhere along the road when they weren’t paying attention. Mark and Jinyoung had fussed out loud, had wanted to call the others to tell them that they were lost when Sunggyu had shaken his head, gaze droned ahead to a road that had particularly felt familiar to him.

“Mark, Jinyoung. Do you mind going there with me?” The eldest had asked as he spun to the boys, eyes gleaming as he looked at them hopeful. The both of them had only exchanged brief glances before they finally nodded, Mark sauntering at Sunggyu’s right while Jinyoung on the other side, cautions quite apparent in their behaviour as they kept glancing over for any speeding vehicle. They then walked around almost randomly for a while until Sunggyu had halted his steps in front of a humble-looking house. Mark and Jinyoung had paused abruptly; had glanced at the elder in confusion before they finally realized what Sunggyu had been staring at.

“Hyung, whose house is this?” Asked Jinyoung, his gaze following that of the elder’s as he too, stared at the house in front of them. Sunggyu’s lips had quirked up a little at the question, eyes glinted with looks of nostalgia as his eyes fell onto the nameplate attached to the wall.

“Mine. Used to be mine.” He had muttered under his breath, his gaze roaming about as he took in the structure of the house. Sunggyu had smiled again then— _the house hadn’t really changed all that much from the way he had always remembered it_ , he had thought.

“Before you had moved to Seoul?” Mark then added, his eyes too, wandered around as he slowly took in the sight. Sunggyu only hummed his answer then, eyes never leaving the building in front of them.

“Why did you move to Seoul, hyung?” Jinyoung had casually asked, hadn’t really guessed that it’d be a topic the elder wouldn’t want to answer. But they all had understood, had only left them in a pregnant silence when the only answer they had received was of a loose sad smile on the other’s lips. They let the silence droned on for a while until Jinyoung finally noticed the looks several people were giving them. They were gawking at them, probably suspicious for the reason that three adults had been standing in front of their neighbour’s house without exactly doing anything. He quickly stepped closer to Sunggyu before he spoke—

“Hyung, I think we should go back and look for the others.” The youngest of them had suggested, tugging unto the said boy’s sleeve as he awkwardly bowed his head to the gawking passers-by. Feeling the soft but urgent tug on his sleeve, Sunggyu’s eyes flickered as he was pulled out of his own reverie, only then apprehending that people had been staring at them almost suspiciously.

“Oh. Yeah, we should.” He had said, avoiding the unwelcomed stares as he slipped a hand into his jean’s pocket. It wasn’t even a second after when Sunggyu had abruptly stopped his hand from fishing out his phone. “Actually, I know where we can find them.” He had continued afterwards, a small grin adorning his lips when he saw the puzzled look Mark and Jinyoung was giving him—the question _how_ was pretty noticeable then. But Sunggyu hadn’t said anything, had only grabbed the two’s wrists before pulling them along, keeping silent despite knowing how confused the others had been.

“Just follow me. I’m sure we’ll find them there.” He had convinced, bubble of confidence brewing in him before the younger two finally conceded, complying with their elder’s decision as they let themselves be dragged.

 

“Yah! Sunggyu! Mark! Jinyoung! Where have you been? Why didn’t any of you pick up our calls?” Sungyeol’s shriek blared loudly in the air as soon as he saw the three of them sauntering into the park. The said boy then had stomped his feet off, rushing over towards them while Myungsoo and Woohyun had silently tailed from behind, their frowning faces were noticeably mixed with worry—Sunggyu had noted.

The moment Mark and Jinyoung had seen the others though, their eyes widened uncharacteristically as they quickly exchanged a stunned look between each other before finally gawking at Sunggyu—the latter beaming proudly as he patted Sungyeol’s shoulder to calm the other down.

“Nowhere in particular, Yeol. We just got lost somewhere around here.” Sunggyu said, grasping firmly unto the other’s shoulder as a form of reassurance before he finally chanced himself a look at Woohyun. The latter, Sunggyu noted, hadn’t really said anything ever since they had arrived. He didn’t even twitch a muscle while Sungyeol was droning about his worries for the three of them. Heck, even Myungsoo had expressed his own concern, had said something along Sungyeol being worried, that his friend had almost called the police if only Myungsoo hadn’t stopped the other from doing so _._ But no, Woohyun had only remained silent throughout all the chaos. Sunggyu thought it was strange and maybe, had even felt a little hurt with the silence he was letting on.

Yet, as their eyes had connected for a brief moment albeit unintentionally, Sunggyu’s confusion had only surged when he saw the dim look in the other’s eyes. _What?_ He had frowned then, had almost opened his mouth to say something when Sungyeol had interfered.

“Well, we were lost too! And we’ve been trying to call you guys! Why didn’t any of you pick up your phone?!” His friend scolded; his glare jumped between the three of them as he waited for any of them to answer. Jinyoung then had briefly glanced at Sunggyu before he finally sneaked another look at Mark, only answering when he realised three pairs of eyes were already drilling through his head, waiting for the answer. Jinyoung could only sigh when he finally did so—

“Sorry, we didn’t really think over that. We were just walking around while trying to look for this place.” He had opted to skip the part where they had gone to see Sunggyu’s house. He did realise though, the suspicious stare Woohyun was giving them and Jinyoung for once, had to guiltily look away. He hadn’t wanted to give his little lie away because he wasn’t exactly sure if the elder would want to disclose their small stop and he had wanted to respect the elder’s choice either way. So when Mark had fortunately changed the subject’s focus to Sunggyu, Jinyoung could only silently thank the other when he had noticed that the glare had already softened and his gaze had already been shifted to their eldest.

“Yeah, about that, hyung, how’d you know that we’ll definitely meet them here? That’s so amazing!” Mark had remarked, throwing Sunggyu an amazed look as he waited for his answer. Sunggyu’s lips had only curled into a wide smile when he had spun to beam at Sungyeol, the other’s pout then slowly morphed into a huge grin mirroring the elder’s.

“Well, because this is the park where Sungyeol and I always play around when we were younger. It’s like our own huge playground or something.” He gladly explained, Sungyeol’s grin then had changed to a smirk as he gently jabbed a finger to Sunggyu’s side.

“And _also_ the park where you saved your first crush’s life too!” He had embarrassingly chimed in, chortling loudly the moment he saw Sunggyu’s mortified look. The latter though, couldn’t help but noticed the way Woohyun had quirked an eyebrow at the revelation while the rest were already wiggling their eyebrows, whistling suggestively as they did so.

“Hey, she wasn’t my crush.” The eldest declared as he whacked his friend’s head albeit gently.

“Who said it’s her?” Sungyeol shot back, the smirk on his face growing even wider when he saw the puzzled look on Sunggyu.

“What?” The latter had squawked, frowning then because _if it wasn’t her, then who?_ But before he could even say the question in his head, Jinyoung was already interfering, feeling frustrated as he didn’t quite follow the conversation between the two of them—

“What are you guys talking about?” He had asked, impatient. Sungyeol quickly beamed at the question while Sunggyu had only groaned out loud, the hazy memory slowly coming back to his head as he let his friend do whatever he want.

“Well,” Sungyeol began. “You know, when we were still in our elementary year, our school had organised a one-day trip to play at this park. And the kids, meaning most of us, just suddenly decided to go on those boats there.” He pointed a finger at the vast lake just across them.

“But of course there were teachers to supervise us. So then, we went on and were happily paddling the boat randomly, until it suddenly toppled over when a few boys had fought on top of it. Fortunately, no one had drowned because my Sunggyu here had heroically saved a girl’s life when he had told the teacher that her life jacket was malfunctioning just before they got on.” Sungyeol finished his story safely, looking almost too proud at his amazing story-telling skill and looking almost as though he had already planned the whole story thing ahead of time. Sunggyu had felt the blush creeping up under his skin when he had heard the _“oohs”_ and the _“wows”_ from the rest of the group.

“Wow, hyung. That’s really amazing.” Myungsoo had remarked. Mark and Jinyoung only nodded along as they kept staring at him, looking even more impressed than ever.

Sunggyu however, hadn’t really liked being in the centre of the unexpected spotlight so when he had turned his head away, hoping to avoid the onslaughts of those awestruck eyes and their train of praises, Sunggyu hadn’t exactly expected to find Woohyun looking away, hadn’t paid any attention to their exchange nor to Kim Sunggyu at all.

Instead, Nam Woohyun had already been silently eyeballing the aforementioned lake, the expression on his look unreadable as he ignored the looks Sunggyu was giving him. And when Kim Sunggyu had somehow felt his insides churning horribly at the sight, he couldn’t exactly put a word to describe that feeling nor could he fathom the reason he had even felt that in the first place.

It wasn’t like he was expecting Woohyun to fawn over his chivalry story like the rest did. No, it wasn’t that. It was his response, or for the lack of it that had Sunggyu feeling odd, had stirred that feeling to even make the guy felt _antsy_. In fact, it had almost even felt like thousands of needles were prodding against his heart. _It had hurt_. Yet Sunggyu had tried to ignore the feeling. He had tried, had only smiled weakly when he heard Sungyeol’s endless compliments after that.

“Yeah, amazing right? At the age of 7, Sunggyu was already saving people’s life while the rest of us was still dreaming about being a power ranger.” His friend had droned on, bobbing his head proudly while the rest of them had only giggled and agreed. Sunggyu only briefly shook his head then, tearing his eyes away from Woohyun as he dismissed the topic.

“It wasn’t anything big, guys.” He had put on a small smile before he patted Jinyoung’s back and suggested— “Come on, let’s get on the boat. I missed going on it.”

 

After a brief and successful negotiation with the owner of the boats rental, they finally rented themselves a huge enough boat to fit all six of them. Sungyeol and Jinyoung had bickered about who gets to paddle the boat while the others had only shaken their head as they listened to their pointless bickering. It ended up with the both of them paddling together much to their chagrin because Mark had suggested them to take turns as he had cleverly told them: _“You’ll tire yourself out if you had paddled alone.”_ They could only grumble out loud when Mark’s words had made sense to their ears although they did sneak a complain and had mumbled out a brooding remark of “ _I could’ve paddled alone, no big deal” –_ to which Myungsoo had heard and even snickered at their respective lanky and cushy bodies.

Everything afterwards had gone on pretty smoothly on the boat then, save for the casual bickering between Sungyeol and Jinyoung about whom being the best in paddling—Mark had carelessly answered Jinyoung’s name when Sungyeol had asked which of them was better. The casual bickering however, had gradually taken a huge turn when suddenly, the both of them were already shouting at each other, the paddles long forgotten as they suddenly started shoving each other off, the boat they were sitting in then was dangerously swaying along left and right with every push.

Sunggyu’s lashes had flickered when a sense of déjà vu had rapidly taken over him, the memory from the past suddenly rushed through his mind as he found the situation just so very familiar. His hands was already instantly gripping onto the side of the boat, his voice squeaking as he tried warning them.

“Sungyeol, Jinyoung. Stop.” He had said, had gripped even tighter when he realised that no one had listened to him. If Woohyun had ever noticed the slight tremble in Sunggyu’s voice, he probably couldn’t even do anything about it since he was seated a seat behind him, Mark only laughing from Sunggyu’s side as he found the whole thing of their bantering funny.

“Guys, stop.” Sunggyu had warned again. His hands were already turning pale as he gripped onto the boat desperately.

“Sungyeol, Jinyoung. Stop.” Woohyun had suddenly said when no one had listened. _He noticed,_ Sunggyu had briefly thought yet the thought hadn’t lasted very long when the elder had caught Jinyoung standing up on the boat, had wanted to lurch at Sungyeol. But it hadn’t even been a complete step when the boat had leaned heavily to their left, had unexpectedly toppled over, throwing all of them out and into the cold water of the deep lake.

Sunggyu didn’t even have the time to think about the others when he himself was sinking deeper into the water, had even swallowed some of the water in as he tried blinking his eyes open, his arms flailing around as he tried pushing himself back up towards the surface. His legs were already kicking vigorously then, was already struggling to breath in the water when he had suddenly caught something moving from the far corner of his eye. _A child?_ Sunggyu had stilled for a moment, narrowing his eyes at the direction before it finally occurred to him that a child was drowning just across him.

Panicking, Sunggyu could only kick his legs thoughtlessly, arms trying to push against the water as he struggled to grab the boy. Yet the more he had struggled in the water, the further the smaller boy had seemed to get. He tried to swim over but he just couldn’t seem to reach him. He could already feel his chest suffocating, the oxygen in his lungs running out but _no_ , he had to save the child! He was drowning!

 _Someone, anyone! Save him!_ His head was screaming, dread taking over his system when he saw the child sinking even further down. _No!_ His head had shouted, his hand stretching out far in the effort of reaching out for the small boy but it had only been a futile effort when he suddenly felt a pair of strong arms hooked under his own, had pulled him— and _only him_ back to the surface of the water.

“No! The child— _save the child!”_ Sunggyu had cried, coughing and wheezing as he harshly inhaled the air as soon as he broke out of the water. He had heard the faint call of his name but he was too busy trying to slip out of the arms that were holding him. “No!” He cried out again, furiously pushing against the body that was seizing him. But when he had felt cold fingers sliding through his hair, holding his head immobile as it firmly tried to fixate Sunggyu’s eyes onto something, Sunggyu slowly but surely found himself calming down when he’d seen a pair of worried eyes staring straight into his.

“Woohyun.” He breathed out; his own hands were already clinging unto the said boy’s shoulders tightly when he had voiced out the name.

“Sunggyu, calm down.” The other had told him, had probably been telling the same thing over and over again before he actually did— Sunggyu only blinking his eyes at him, the harsh beating of his heart seemingly slowing down as his own ragged breathing had begun to even out.

“You okay now?” Woohyun had asked after a short while. Sunggyu hesitantly nodded his head before his eyes had flickered again—seemingly reminded of the source of his panic.

“Wait, the child, where is he?” He had quickly looked around. But when the only ones he had seen were the faces of his own friends, not a single sign of any of them having a child in their arms, Sunggyu had paled at the thought of having failed to save him.

“No—“ He had breathed out heavily, terrified as he had looked over once again, hadn’t noticed the wary look Woohyun was giving him then.

“Sunggyu, what are you talking about? What child?” He had asked, confused. The rest of them had only mirrored his look as they stared at Sunggyu questioningly.

“Just now, there was a child. He was drowning.” Sunggyu had still answered; eyes returning back to Woohyun’s— only realising then that everyone was basically gawking at him like he was mad crazy.

“Hyung, there was no child here. We’re the only ones on the boat.” Jinyoung had spoken instead, safely floating about on the surface thanks to the life jacket he had put on beforehand. The frown on his forehead had only dug deeper then.

“But—“ He had wanted to argue. He knew what he saw. He knew he wasn’t mistaken but before he could even say anything, Woohyun had already beat him to it—

“Fine.” He started, looking into Sunggyu’s eyes intensely as he did so. “Then tell me, hyung. What does the child look like?” He asked, taking the elder by surprise from the sudden interrogation.

“I, I don’t know.” He had stuttered. “The boy was drowning, Woohyun. I couldn’t get a proper look at him.” He had clarified but when the said boy had only quirked an eyebrow, Sunggyu suddenly felt frustration slowly building in his system. It was as if Woohyun was challenging him with a loud yet inaudible _“so?”_ And Sunggyu hadn’t liked that interrogative look, _especially not from this man._

“He was really small, Woohyun. Maybe 6 or 7 year old. I don’t know. Everything had happened so fast. I couldn’t take everything in while I was panicking.” Sunggyu tried again, though he knew that the younger wasn’t at all convinced. Heck, everyone around him had seemed pretty unconvinced with his explanation and he didn’t even understand why. Why wouldn’t they believe anything he had been saying? No, he wasn’t lying. Kim Sunggyu was from being a liar.

“Hyung, for all we’ve known and seen just now,” Woohyun was suddenly speaking again, his voice firm as he listened to him carefully. “ _You are the one drowning just now.”_

“What?”Sunggyu’s eyes had flickered, frowning and hesitantly shaking his head. “No, I was not. I was trying to save the child.” He denied.

“No, Gyu. Woohyun was right. We saw everything. You were drowning just now. And if Woohyun hadn’t grabbed you, you would still be drowning now, you know.” Sungyeol finally voiced out after a long while of silence, Sunggyu still shaking his head at his words.

“Your life jacket didn’t work, Sunggyu. I think it was probably an old one.” Myungsoo had said, taking their side.

“But that didn’t make any sense! I really saw—“

“Sunggyu, please.” Woohyun had interrupted, releasing a long sigh as he tiredly eyed the elder in front of him. “Look, why don’t we just go back to the hotel for now, okay? It’s late and it’s getting cold.” He had said, his cold fingers slipping away from holding Sunggyu’s head when he had seen the weak nod Sunggyu had given him.

“Let’s go.” He had whispered softly before he repositioned himself and pulled Sunggyu along out of the water, the rest tailing from behind as they swam out.

 

It had taken them awhile to return to their hotel, had to wait out for their soaked clothes to dry up a little before they could ride the bus back. All of them shaking and shivering as the soft breeze had made the cold seeping through their skin even worse.

The moment they had reached their own room, Woohyun had quickly pushed the elder into the bathroom, had forced him to take a quick shower, afraid that the other would risk getting a cold. Sunggyu had refused at first, had wanted the younger to go in first but the other wasn’t relenting to his suggestion so all Sunggyu could do was sigh and gave in—basking in the warm shower albeit only for a short while.

It hadn’t even been five minutes when Sunggyu had already walked out of the bathroom, warmly dressed and a towel slinging over his shoulder before he had quietly asked the other to go in. Sunggyu however, had quickly looked down and flushed badly when his eyes caught Woohyun stripping the wet shirt off of his then naked torso. But when he had suddenly heard a low hiss coming from the younger, Sunggyu immediately lifted his head up, only to freak out when he saw the deep scratches on Woohyun’s shoulders, each of them was of angry red and inflamed.

“Woohyun, your shoulder!” Kim Sunggyu had hurried over, eyes worriedly inspecting the several cuts as his finger had hovered over them, afraid of touching and hurting the younger if he did so.

“It’s okay, Sunggyu. They weren’t so bad.” The younger had told him as he once again tried to look over the scratches through the mirror. Sunggyu’s look hadn’t changed however, was still eyeing the wounds worriedly as guilt slowly made its way into his head.

“You’re bleeding, Woohyun.” Sunggyu had commented, was silently blaming himself for having hurt the other when he had done nothing but saved him earlier.

“Yes, it bled but it already stopped. No big deal.” Woohyun had dismissed, had probably understood the look on Sunggyu’s face as he had tried to dismissively convince the elder.

“But Woohyun, it’s—“ Kim Sunggyu began, was going to apologise, to say sorry for hurting him when Woohyun was already stopping him from doing so, had swiftly spun on his feet and downright glared at the elder.

“Sunggyu, stop. It’s nothing serious.” He had almost growled, his voice firm and final as he said them. Sunggyu though, wasn’t at all terrified of that low growl, wasn’t even affected by the finality of his words then. What he had worried about instead, was how painful the cuts had looked instead, how bad it had seemed as the younger was leaving them untreated when he had walked over to his luggage and took his spare clothes.

Sunggyu then, could only let out a defeated sigh before he finally walked over behind the other and had gently pushed him towards the bathroom.

“Fine, but at least let me treat them for you. I’ll go get the first aid kit. Now, go wash yourself for a bit.” The elder had commanded—hadn’t even let the younger to protest when he had swiftly closed the bathroom’s door on him and went out of the room to get the kit.

Sunggyu finally returned to their room after several minutes, ushering the younger to sit on the bed as he too, had sat himself by his side, Woohyun’s back turned towards him before he placed the first aid kit on the bed and pulled out all the necessary tools to treat the wounds. Sunggyu let several drops of iodine onto a ball of cotton before he gently dabbed it along the scratches of the wounds, Woohyun wincing and hissing some of the time as he endured the stinging pain. The elder had to frown every time he noticed Woohyun’s body flinching away from the touches, guilt had came creeping on him again.

“I’m sorry.” Sunggyu had mumbled, voice almost like a soundless whisper as he said so, his hand continued working on the cuts as he pulled some more cotton out.

“I told you, it wasn’t anything serious. You don’t have to apologise.” Woohyun had responded, his body seemingly relaxed for a brief while when he hadn’t felt the cotton assaulting his wound yet.

“But it looked so painful.” Sunggyu was borderline whining then, already slightly pouting his lips as he remorsefully eyed the scratches he had made there.

“It looked painful, Sunggyu but it wasn’t.” Woohyun protested again and Sunggyu hadn’t liked that. He didn’t like the push-and-pull they were both playing then and it was starting to irk and annoy the heck out of Sunggyu. So when the latter had suddenly jabbed a cotton against one of the wounds, Woohyun couldn’t really help the hiss he had let out—Sunggyu even dared snorting at the other when he’d heard the uncharacteristic yelp.

“Yeah, didn’t hurt, right.” He had scoffed before he continued pressing against the rest of them tenderly.

“Yah! That’s not fair. You purposely pressed on it!” Woohyun had retorted; his voice was sounding less firm and more relaxed then when a low chuckle had followed after. Sunggyu just couldn’t help the small grin he had already donned on— finally feeling like the heavy atmosphere that had been hanging between them finally lifted off along with the small chuckle.

“Well, you kept saying it wasn’t painful so I just wanted to make sure.” Kim Sunggyu had joked, taking some more clean cotton before he had dabbed on the cuts again, cleaning the yellow liquid off as much as he could. Woohyun had only chortled again after that, and Sunggyu realised, he had actually enjoyed listening to that laughter much more than the cold nor the flat tone of Woohyun’s voice earlier that day.

“Won’t you just let me look cool for once?” The younger had countered, had turned his body to grouch at the other when he finally felt a soft pat on his back, a sign telling him that Sunggyu had finally done treating his wounds. The latter had only snorted though when he playfully joked back—

“And why would you want to look cool in front of _me_?” He had said it a bit too soon, almost regretting it immediately when he had taken note of the sudden, awkward silence that followed soon after—Woohyun’s ears reddening rapidly while Sunggyu had hastily scrambled out of the bed, putting back some distance between them as his face too had begun to heat up.

“Uh, well. There. I’m done.” _Awkward_.

“Tha—thanks.” Woohyun had stumbled, eyes looking warily at the elder while Sunggyu could only fidget in front of him—his own eyes looking anywhere but Woohyun’s. It was a long and heavy moment later when Woohyun had finally decided to break all the awkwardness that was enveloping them and spoke.

“Hyung,” He had called, had been the first time after a while since Woohyun had last called him that and it wasn’t until then when Sunggyu finally realised how much he had liked hearing that word used on him. He had only hummed an answer then, eyes still evading that of Woohyun’s as he waited for the other to continue.

“Well, umm, about today…“ The younger had droned on, probably hadn’t known how to phrase his words as he had wanted to. Sunggyu though, had seemed to catch on the things that Woohyun was probably trying to say to him but the awkwardness and the blushes on his face hadn’t gone away yet and Kim Sunggyu just wasn’t ready to make everything worsened even more. So he had swiftly evaded the topic, seemingly to be something he had been doing very often lately.

“Oh, wow! Look at that time. It’s already 9! We should be sleeping now. We have to get up early tomorrow.” The elder had gasped almost a bit too loud then.

“Hyung—“ Woohyun had frowned, had thought that the elder had understood what he was going to say, only to be disappointed when Sunggyu had dodged the subject.

“Go on. Lie down.” Sunggyu had pressed on, tenderly tucking the younger into bed as he pulled the blanket over him. Woohyun however, had to wince and had hissed loudly when he felt the fabric was harshly grazing against his cuts—Sunggyu almost immediately apologising before he rushed to get a small towel soaked in cold water, had seated himself on the floor by the bed side and had gently placed it over the wounds, Woohyun gradually relaxing into it as he let the cold shooing the pain away.

“Hyung, I—“ Woohyun started again after a while, but Sunggyu had only shushed him up as he pressed on the cold towel.

“Sleep, Woohyun.” He had whispered quietly, Woohyun grudgingly muffling out a yawn before he reluctantly shut his eyes close and finally let sleep took over him. When Sunggyu had heard the soft snores of the other, his lips had secretly curled a smile as he eyed the peaceful look on the other’s face before he too, had fallen asleep, his head nestling against Woohun’s side before he knew it.

Needless to say, they had both woken up the next morning with faces heating up a deep red when they found themselves in each other’s embrace, Sunggyu’s face comfortably nuzzled against Woohyun’s bare chest as their arms had tightly wrapped around each other. A pleasant surprise in the early morning and they were both already scrambling away, falling down from the bed and onto the floor as they groaned in pain, rubbing their sore back afterwards, both Sunggyu and Woohyun already more than awake then.

Both of them had dressed themselves up quite awkwardly around each other after that, had silently packed up their stuffs back into their luggage before they finally escaped the stuffy room and went to get their breakfast soundlessly. How Sunggyu had ended up in the small cramp of Woohyun’s bed though, he hadn’t really remembered nor did he want to find out actually— the thought of embarrassing himself had held him back from asking Woohyun about it.

Though as soon as they all had settled down in the rented bus, finally on their way back to their college, Woohyun sitting two seats away from him while Sungyeol and the rest had opted to sit in the row behind them, Sunggyu had suddenly received a group message notification. He frowned when he had seen the name blinking on the screen of his phone. _Sungyeol?_

Well, that was odd.

Sungyeol was sitting directly behind him, could’ve just say or whisper anything he had wanted to say without actually having to use their phone as a medium. Heck, when did he even create this group chat? Why hadn’t he known about it until then?

Kim Sunggyu had been curious when he had opened the window to their group chat, had only wanted nothing more than to strangle his one and only best friend, his face blushing madly when he had seen the photo Sungyeol had graciously sent them.

“Yah, Lee Sungyeol!” Sunggyu had yelled, eyes glowering at the said boy—looking mad despite the cute rosy shade of his skin then. Woohyun had looked alarmed when he had glanced over them, had quickly thumbed over the screen of his phone when he saw the notification. And when he had suddenly heard Woohyun’s violent coughing fits, he could only assume that the younger had finally seen the photo too.

“Awwwwh, Sunggyu hyung! Woohyun hyung! You guys looked so cute cuddling with each other.” Mark had suddenly cooed once he saw it too, craning his neck out as he eyed the two blushing messes—Jinyoung was already grinning widely while Myungsoo had only snickered out loud. Sungyeol by then was already a bundle of laughter, cackling shamelessly in his own seat.

“Woohyun hyung, why were you naked in this picture?” Jinyoung had innocently pointed out, flashing the screen of his phone in Woohyun’s way. The latter could only hide his face into his palms then while Sunggyu was already throwing punches at Sungyeol’s cackling self.

“Wait, are those nail scratches on your shoulder, hyung?” Mark had asked, eyebrows joined close as he squinted his eyes to stare at the photo. Sunggyu had almost felt like jumping off the speeding bus when Mark had loudly pointed out, was already cursing their keen vision when it had all of a sudden turned inhumanly sharper than before.

“Wait, you’re—you guys were not doing what I think you were…. Right?” Mark had droned on, eyeing the both of them suspiciously, only to cackle too when Sunggyu had furiously coughed and Woohyun had sputtered a frantic “ _no!”_

“Wha—No! Mark, what are you saying?!” Sunggyu had screeched afterwards, the blush on his face turning a shade darker if that was even possible.

“What? I was just asking!” The younger had protested, still laughing while the rest of them were already joining in the fun, Sungyeol wiping a drop of happy tear from the corner of his eye as he muffled out a soft “ _Oh god, this is funny,”_ before he decided to bully their friends even more.

“So, Gyu, you liked it so much to the point of scratching huh?” He added, had guffawed even louder when Woohyun had coughed even harsher and Sunggyu’s voice had blared a little too loud for the small space of the bus.

“What the fuck?! Yah, Lee fucking Sungyeol!”

“Kim Sunggyu, language!”

Oh, if only murder was allowed in his country.

 

 


	8. A taste of reality

# A taste of reality

Kim Sunggyu used to think that time had always been a form of torture to him. That time when he had to wait for weeks to find out that he had been half-blind, that had been a torture. That time when he had been anxiously waiting for his gift to return, that was another torture. That time when he had to hear the whispers of his disability, had to receive the judgemental stares of his obvious scar, that was a different kind of torture. And Sunggyu wouldn’t admit, but that time when he had been waiting for a certain Nam Woohyun to come back to college, that was also another torture he would never ever admit to anyone.

So when Sunggyu had realised how fast the time had flown three weeks after their return from Jeonju, he hadn’t really understood _why_.

 

Just a week following the trip, their team had finally completed their assignment and presented their group work on the theme _Memories_ to the class. Well, it had been a group work, but really, it was mostly Myungsoo’s photographs, Jinyoung’s writing and Mark’s IT skills that helped them through the assessment. Kim Sunggyu was merely tasked to present their topic since it had been his hometown while Lee Sungyeol and Nam Woohyun had contributed nothing at all.

Sungyeol had once protested, saying _“Hey! I helped keeping you guys awake for three nights to complete the presentations!”_ while Woohyun had jeered that _“Yeah, by snoring out loud.”_ But the latter had ought to know that he was actually no better than Lee Sungyeol when all he did was make gallons of coffees for their endless nights.

The week after that had been uneventful too— Myungsoo had been busy preparing for a theatre he was casted in while Sungyeol was just busy being a stalker of his and also the president of Kim Myungsoo’s fan club. Kim Sunggyu thought that maybe for once in a while, he could finally find some quiet and peace for himself, maybe tried to sort out the strange feelings he’d have for the past week, or maybe worked out some answers for his drowning accident—but that hadn’t been an option when Jinyoung and Mark had particularly made sure not to leave him alone while the rest had been away.

He was thankful, really, but the only reason he was finding time passing way too fast hadn’t been Jinyoung nor Mark’s presence. It had been and seemed to always be a _Nam Woohyun._

Ever since their return from the trip, Nam Woohyun had never even once left Kim Sunggyu’s side much to the latter’s surprise. It had left him no time for himself, no time for him to sort out anything, and no time for him to even breath for a second when that pleasant churning sensation at the pit of his stomach had kept him pretty breathless most of the time.

If Sunggyu had been honest with himself, he never really expected to see Nam Woohyun the next day at college, nor did he expect him to show up everyday after that. He had been missing from school enough to make Sunggyu doubt that he would even come back that often.

But now that he did, Kim Sunggyu hadn’t known what to make of that change. Yet he knew he would never complained—he had a feeling that the moment he did, Woohyun would disappear on him again and he really wouldn’t know if he could feign ignorance when all he wanted to know was _why_.

So when Nam Woohyun had been late for school the next Thursday, Kim Sunggyu was almost disappointed— almost had the thought of _‘I knew it’_ when the bell had rung, indicating that class was already starting. Just when he thought that Woohyun wouldn’t repeat his disappearance, and there he did it again. Sunggyu had been grouchy all morning—Jinyoung tried to make some lame jokes about Sunggyu looking like a damsel in distress, had wanted to make the eldest smile a little, only to receive quite a deadly glare from him when Jinyoung had touched the topic of _“Woohyun hyung will run away if he sees your grumpy look”._

It was almost about a two-hour class later when Nam Woohyun had actually showed up at their usual table, his hair dishevelled and beads of sweats trailing down his forehead while his chest was pumping up and down from his heavy, ragged breathing.

“Woohyun.” Sunggyu voice was more a whisper then, his jaws had hung slightly open as he stared wide-eye at the crouching man in front of him, hadn’t exactly expected to see the mysterious man to be there.

“Hyung, sorry I was late.” He had managed to squeeze in between his harsh breathing, rubbing the sleeve of his shirt against his sweaty forehead as he pressed Sunggyu to scoot over before he had sat himself besides the elder, knees brushing against. Jinyoung and Mark could only sighed in relief when the source of their misery of that day had finally showed up, possibly hoping that Sunggyu’s mood would lighten a little upon his appearance.

“Where were you?” The elder had asked then, inquiring. _I thought you’d disappear on me again,_ he had wanted to say but it hadn’t left his lips when a voice had interrupted Woohyun’s explanation.

“Sorry, Gyu, I was out helping out—“

“Woohyun!” A feminine voice had chimed in, tapping Woohyun’s shoulder as a fair hand had reached out to grab his attention. A frown quickly made its way onto Sunggyu’s face when his eyes finally caught the owner of the hand. She was pretty and petite to say the least.

“Somi.” Woohyun called out. The girl named Somi was also panting, Sunggyu noticed albeit more shallow than Woohyun had.

“Why’d you leave so quickly? I was just about to invite you for coffee as thanks.” She had said, lips slightly protruded in a small attempt of a cute pout.

Sunggyu had looked back to Woohyun, the frown hadn’t left his face as he too was waiting for the answer from the said man.

“Sorry, that’s fine. You don’t have to.” He had replied instead.

“No, I wanted to.”

“It’s okay. I just helped a little bit, no big deal.”

“It wasn’t just a small deal. You did a lot the whole night!”

“The whole night?” Mark repeated, eyes probably bulging out more than he had intended to.

“What—“ Woohyun had probably noticed the sudden change on Sunggyu’s look when he had quickly stuttered, both hands waving rigorously in denial.

“No! Gyu, uh, I was—I was just helping her assignment!” He clarified, voice slightly an octave higher as he looked back at Sunggyu. Somi’s eyebrows knotted a little at the frantic explanation but if she had understood the meaning, she probably hadn’t showed it in her attitude when all she did was nod her head with a small smile.

Sunggyu hadn’t said anything though, only blinking his eyes before he turned back to his book and began flipping through the pages he had opened in front of him. Mark however, hadn’t noticed the sudden change of air in between them and had only aggravated things when he had wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, nudging Woohyun by the waist with a grin so mischievous, Sungyeol could practically slam his head against the table at how thick-headed the guy was if only he was actually there to witness everything.

“I’m not lying! She had this huge assignment due this afternoon and asked me to double check before she could submit it today.” He added soon after, a hand immediately reaching down as he squeezed Sunggyu’s slightly exposed knee. Watching Woohyun’s determined effort to clarify the situation, Somi had only smiled widely before she patted Woohyun’s shoulder, a gesture Sunggyu hadn’t missed to notice.

“Yeah, I needed to ace this one and I had to make sure my grammars and all were good enough. Turned out there were lots of grammatical mistakes and he helped me fixed it! It’s always better to ask someone who had lived in the States all his life to help, you know.” She explained further, her hand finally leaving the expanse of Woohyun’s shoulder as she brushed her slipped hair back behind her ear.

The statement didn’t quite sink in until he had heard Mark clarifying in a voice that Sunggyu had deemed as pure elation judging from the high-pitched voice.

“Wait, hyung, you lived in the States before?” Now that had actually piqued on Sunggyu’s attention.

“Uh, yeah.” Woohyun hesitated, scratching the back of his head as he answered, hand lifted away from Sunggyu’s knee as a result. It didn’t take longer than a few seconds before the latter finally realised how cold the expanse of his skin had grown with the absence of Woohyun’s warmth.

“Which part? I’m from California!” Mark was almost waggling his invisible tail then, was more than happy to find out someone had almost the same background as his. Jinyoung smiled fondly as he stared at the said boy, knew the slightly elder boy had missed his country, had missed his family dearly for having been away for more than two years then.

“I used to live in Florida.” Woohyun answered sheepishly, probably hadn’t expected his background to be revealed that day.

“Woah, hyung! I never knew! This is so awesome!” Remarked the young male as his fist bumped Woohyun’s shoulder.

 _I never knew too,_ Sunggyu had thought as he watched Woohyun and Mark exchanging brief stories about their home country, the sparkle in both pairs of eyes were pretty obvious as they reminisced their good old times. It was when a voice had interrupted did Sunggyu realise that the female named Somi had been standing there awkwardly, feet shifting as she tapped softly onto Woohyun’s shoulder.

“Uh, Woohyun, so the coffee…?” She trailed off. Woohyun finally snapped back from their conversation and seemed a bit surprised to see her still standing there, probably had expected the girl to leave when the conversation had shifted course just a while back.

“Sorry, Somi.” He threw her a polite smile. “You really don’t have to but if you still insist, maybe next time? I have something to do after this.” He declined, looking up while looking a bit apologetic. Somi had only curled an understanding smile and nodded her head.

“Alright then. Sorry for the intrusion by the way. Let me know when you want the coffee, okay?” She spoke before she bowed at the table and left quietly, Sunggyu’s eyes following her back as he stared through her graceful walk before disappearing amongst the crowd.

“So… Are we going for breakfast? I’m hungry.” Woohyun suddenly broke the silence. It certainly brought the table’s attention to him.

“Hyung, it’s almost lunch already.” Mark had curtly pointed out. Woohyun had only shrugged his shoulders though, bottom lips jutting out into a pout.

“Uhh, brunch then? I haven’t had breakfast yet. I’m famished.” He responded anyway.

“But don’t you have something to do?” It was Sunggyu’s turn to ask and the others had only bobbed their heads simultaneously, agreeing. Yet when Woohyun had appeared slightly puzzled from the question, it caused the elder to frown even more—confused.

“Huh, what?” Woohyun had questioned back, hadn’t seemed to comprehend the unexpected issue.

“Hyung, you just told that Somi girl that you have something to do a while ago.” Jinyoung’s explanation seemed to finally click in Woohyun’s mind when his lips had hung an _“O”_ before he had simply dismissed the subject.

“Oh. That.” His ears were reddening then. “Don’t worry about it. It was, uh, just an excuse. I just don’t feel like being a social butterfly with her.” Woohyun had explained, dust of rosy pink colouring the apple of his cheeks despite the tone of indifference that he had put much effort on. Sunggyu found it strange that his heart was unclenching the moment he had heard Woohyun’s thought because really, just _why_ and _when_ did it even clench in the first place? He didn’t really know the answer to that himself.

Jinyoung had gasped a bit too dramatic then, his hand immediately shooting up to cover his mouth while his eyes were bulging out comically. “But I thought you were a friendly guy who loves socialising!” He had countered. And if Kim Sunggyu were to describe Jinyoung’s pretense, he would’ve said that the latter was looking as betrayed as ever—betrayed because his opinion on Woohyun had turned out to be deceitful all these while. Woohyun snorted at the exclamation but delved himself in the unexpected pool of praises coming from the younger— beaming at them before answering.

“I’m friendly, yes, but socialising? Nah, I prefer hanging out with you guys more.” He’d told them before his orbs had grown wider and the blush on his cheeks had intensified, only then realising what had been said. Mark and Jinyoung cooed while jabbing unto Woohyun’s cheeks.

“Awwwh, hyung, you just chose bros over hoes!” Jinyoung had grinned so wide, while Woohyun had only pretended that he wasn’t faltering from the cooing and giggling.

“Maybe.” He had replied indignantly, his eyes briefly fleeting towards Sunggyu before they had shyly returned back to Mark and Jinyoung. A small, pleasant smile immediately curled on Sunggyu’s lips as he watched Woohyun’s embarrassed moment, missing the mischievous look Jinyoung and Mark had sported when they’d seen his hidden smile.

A moment and an awkward cough later, Woohyun finally couldn’t bear the strange silence that was hanging between them and he just had to deliberately change their topic to their _mutual_ friend.

“Uh, by the way, where’s our drama king?” Asked the male then, eyes squinting everywhere but Sunggyu.

Jinyoung inadvertently snorted at his question like the answer was so painfully obvious, yet he had still answered— “He’s busy being a president.” Woohyun had to snort at that answer too because really, why had he asked an obvious question? And just soon after, Woohyun was already donning that weird grin, had looked like he was plotting something that was just pure _evil_.

And Kim Sunggyu could almost see the mischief in his lopsided grin when Woohyun had glanced at Jinyoung and Mark before he had wiggled his eyebrows cheekily. _Shit_ , Sunggyu definitely knew that look. He could only pray he was wrong though.

 

 

It turned out; Kim Sunggyu’s instinct was not to be played with. The male had to groan out loud when he eventually found all four of them seated in the huge theatre two rows from the front seats. He knew Nam Woohyun liked bothering Lee Sungyeol but what he _didn’t_ know was the extent of his teasing. Sunggyu had immediately shoved two fingers deep into his ears, had tried his best to soften the loud shrieks and screams that came from the crowd just in front of them.

The male had even flinched hard when the screams all of a sudden took to another level the moment the red curtain had slid open, revealing a man with black locks, hooded eyes and a dimpled smile standing on the stage, looking intensely at a guy opposite of him as his hand was gripping tightly onto a makeshift sword by his waist.

Woohyun, Jinyoung and Mark had cackled out loud when their eyes caught Sungyeol suddenly springing up from his ‘ _president’_ seat and had screamed even louder than any girl in there, catching Myungsoo by surprise when he’d heard the words that came out soon after.

“Kim Myungsoo! Kill that motherfucker with your hot swordplay! I swear I’d kiss you right there and then if you don’t!” Sungyeol had yelled, had pumped up his fist in the air before he made kissy face, _disgustingly_ in Sunggyu’s humble opinion.

They had only guffawed even rowdier when they saw Myungsoo’s eyes widened at the very much real threat, his face flushing in embarrassment as soon as he had seen how startled his fellow partner had been at the sudden peril he was in.

Being Lee Sungyeol’s only best friend, Sunggyu could only shake his head as he hid his reddened face behind his hands, could already feel the second-hand embarrassment creeping up when he’d heard the unsubtle whispers from the director and staffs of the stage. He even had to wonder how on Earth could Sungyeol transform from a guy who would stutter and freeze whenever he had so much seen the Kim Myungsoo up close to being so shameless and wild in expressing his love for the other. It was a huge leap of change but Sunggyu wasn’t about to ask when all he wanted was to shut this giant ass up.

“Lee Sungyeol, shut the fuck up and let the poor guy rehearse, would you?!” Sunggyu had to hiss before he swiftly leaned forward and pulled on Sungyeol’s bright red ear. The lanky male hissed a loud _“ouch”_ before he quietly cursed at the elder for ruining his fun, yet had still complied with the pull and grumpily plopped down in his seat. And that was more than enough to make his fellow fan club members to match his move and finally sullenly settling down.

They were still shrieking though, flashing small LED banners using their smart phones but they had been restrained enough to finally let the poor stage actors to continue their rehearsal. Kim Myungsoo had desperately wanted to thank the sensible elder male for his help but he was on stage and he had better not ruin the chance that was given to him before the crowd would began their vicious cheering once again.

The scene then began after a brief silent moment, Myungsoo closing his eyes shut as he quietly exhaled a puff of air before he held the makeshift sword. The dialogues rolled on their tongues smoothly and the intensity within Myungsoo’s eyes as he glared at his opponent was sending shivers up their spine as they watched the scenario unfolded. The male then began to point his sword, steps inching closer and closer as he intimidated his opponent, the latter guy backing up as fear coursed through his body.

They hadn’t realised but their steps had been huge, had walked way past the supposed location where they’re supposed to halt, inching closer to a tower set that was situated just right behind the opponent. Nobody had noticed it, or if somebody _had_ , they probably hadn’t thought of it as anything close to dangerous. So when Myungsoo had lurched forward all of a sudden, his sword pointing close to the other’s chest, the male was taken by surprise, had taken a huge leap backward before he was rammed into the set quite harshly.

The set shook from the impact and toppled over the male—several gasp and shrieks followed soon after before Myungsoo’s huge orbs had widened and all audience had stood up in reflex.

“Seungjun!” Myungsoo had freaked out, had leaped forward before he immediately pulled and removed the heavy remnants of the set from Seungjun’s body with the help of several others.

“Seungjun!” Myungsoo had called out again, had kneeled beside the unconscious man and tapped on his cheek, trying to pull the male back into consciousness. But there had been no response. He had been breathing, the pulse was still there but he just wasn’t responding and Myungsoo could already feel his heart beat accelerating as soon as he saw the crimson liquid trailing down his forehead.

“Someone, call the ambulance! He’s bleeding!” Myungsoo had cried out, anxiety and fear looming in him until he had heard someone volunteered a shrill of _“already called!”_

 

Sungyeol, Woohyun, Jinyoung and Mark had already left their seats then, Jinyoung being the one who had called the ambulance while the rest had gathered around trying to see what had happened. Sunggyu however, had only stood there, his body unmoving, lips sealed tight and his tongue frozen to stone. He blinked his eyes. He could already feel his heart pumping harshly against his ribcage, could already feel his breathing ramping up as panic began to invade his system.

 _No,_ he had thought. _This can’t be happening._ His heart had begged. _Why now?_ He couldn’t help but let the unanswered question infected his mind. His head was chaotic then, couldn’t think of anything, couldn’t settle the horrible feeling that was brewing inside him. He hated that feeling, hated the fact that he was becoming scared—scared of his own fault, of his own _uselessness_.

It was almost half an hour later when Seungjun was finally sent to the hospital, the whole mess beginning to settle down although the heavy atmosphere hadn’t dissipated at all, not even an ounce. Sunggyu was still deeply rooted in his place. He couldn’t trust himself to walk over and witness the consequence for himself. He didn’t know if he had the strength to actually witness the blood that was running down Seungjun’s head and that had pooled under it.

It took about several minutes later when Woohyun finally noticed that Sunggyu hadn’t been by his side, had turned around to look for the latter, only to join his eyebrows in a form of frown when he had seen how pale the elder had looked, how still the male had been at his spot. He quietly walked over to the said male before he had gently tugged on Sunggyu’s arm.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?” Asked the younger male. The crease on his forehead only deepened when he saw that Sunggyu was still zoned out, his eyes hadn’t even blinked once while his pupils were oddly dilated. “Hyung!” Woohyun had called out again, even louder this time that it actually garnered the attention from the rest of students. Sunggyu’s eyelids fluttered open, had snapped his head to the younger standing by his side before he had opened his mouth, wanting to say something yet no matter how he moved his lips, it seemed like words had just refused to come out.

“Kim Sunggyu!” The elder would’ve thought that the raised voice was of Woohyun’s, if not because he was looking straight at the said guy and he hadn’t moved his lips to let out such a loud growl. Sunggyu had wanted to turn and look for the voice’s direction but just before he could even do that— just so _suddenly_ , he had felt a strong force harshly seized unto the collar of his shirt, his body had jerked forward from the impact and his eyes were finally met with that of furious ones, the kind of pair that Sunggyu knew didn’t belong to Woohyun.

“Jihun.” Sunggyu had choked out, struggling to breath from the strong hold on his collar.

“Yah, Kim Jihun! Let him go!” Woohyun had growled, his own hand clutching unto Jihun’s wrist, warning the guy to release Sunggyu.

“Why didn’t you tell us that the set was unstable?! You have The Eyes! You could’ve seen this coming before it happened! We could’ve prevented this from happening!” It was all just so sudden yet Sunggyu barely needed a second to process what the words had meant. He had understood them too well, hadn’t had to digest the words at all to comprehend the meaning when it had already resonated in his head even before Jihun had laid them all out.

“Kim Jihun!” Woohyun had warned again, had tugged on the said male’s wrist as another warning before he would actually act on it. But it didn’t matter. At that moment, the sheer intensity of Woohyun’s growl couldn’t have deterred Jihun’s anger towards Kim Sunggyu. The latter knew it when he’d looked at Jihun’s furious feature.

“Because of you, Seungjun is—“ Jihun had choked out. “Seungjun could’ve died!” Jihun cried out, his tears threatening to breach from the corner of his eyes. Sunggyu had felt the desperation from his trembling hands that were clutching unto his shirt, had felt how the clutch was loosening as a drop of tear finally fell through. Kim Sunggyu could feel something twisting at the pit of his stomach.

Unable to look at the male straight in the eyes, Sunggyu had almost immediately shifted his sight to those around him— wasn’t ready at all to comprehend the looks that the students were already throwing him. The accusing eyes and the frowning looks he had received were just so much more than what he thought he could handle.

And it had Sunggyu trembling badly— not because he feared those accusing looks, but because Jihun’s words had gruesomely mirrored his own thoughts and those stares were only there to prove how _right_ he was.

He could’ve foreseen it happening, he could’ve warned them beforehand, and he could’ve saved the guy’s life from such misery. But he hadn’t seen it coming, he hadn’t known what was happening to the set, and it frightened him how much his eyes had failed him, had hated how much _he_ himself had failed those who had needed his gift the most.

And Woohyun had felt the tense in Sunggyu’s muscles, had felt the tremble from his body and the younger male knew he couldn’t let this continue. Sunggyu was at the point of breaking and he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to mend the broken shards if he’d let the blame seeped through. He had to stop the glass from shattering.

“Jihun, back off!” He had snapped even harsher after that, had gripped the wrist in his clutch stronger before he promptly twisted it away from Sunggyu’s shirt. Woohyun’s menacing growl snapped the rest of his friends back to reality before they had rushed over and hid Woohyun and the elder behind them. Woohyun swiftly pulled Sunggyu over into his arms when he noticed the man was about to keel over, his strength giving away when he was finally liberated from the clutch.

“Jihun, stop.” Sungyeol countered, situating himself in between Jihun and Woohyun. “You can’t blame Sunggyu. It’s not his fault that you guys failed to double check the safety of these sets. Now don’t go blaming other people for your own fault. That is not fair.” Sungyeol had almost snarled then, hadn’t liked how they had put the blame on his best friend when he had done nothing at all. But maybe it was because Sunggyu had done nothing that it had caused such ruckus, such misunderstanding. Sungyeol understood them that much, but still, it just didn’t sit very well with him when the guy had put the blame on his best friend, had even resorted to violence. No, Sunggyu was his best friend even if the said friend had just ruined his fun and pinched his ear. No bullshit would trump over his friend’s wellbeing, physical or not.

“Fuck! Then what the fuck do you guys think we should do?!” The said boy suddenly barked, swiping through his hair both in frustration and worry at the thought of everything going so wrong.

“Seungjun is badly hurt! And he’s one of the essential characters in this play and we had less than a week before the actual performance! Where do you think we could find a replacement who can remember all that shit in such a short period?!” He had yelled, hadn’t known where to direct so much anger when a small part of him knew—understood that it was mostly their mistake for not being meticulous enough. Jihun’s hand swiped down his face, wiping any trace of tears as he crouched down and drew out a long sigh.

“And not to mention Seungjun had been looking forward to this stage so much. He just— this whole stage was actually his idea.” His voice had only sounded desperate then. Sunggyu could fairly hear the disappointment— could almost see the guilt and regret that was slowly but surely taking control of his mind.

“We understand that but still, that didn’t mean you could vent your anger and frustration to Sunggyu. He was just here by chance.” Sungyeol’s voice softened when he’d heard the defeated sound of the other’s.

“I know. I’ll apologise but just, just not now. I’m still messed up in the head. I can’t, can’t apologise now.” He mumbled and they had all but nodded their heads. They could at least understand him that much— Woohyun really would have but he wasn’t quite sure if it was for the best when he knew Sunggyu had partly already been affected by the whole ordeal.

It made the younger gingerly looked down to search for Sunggyu’s eyes, to see for himself if the elder had been okay with it, but he really didn’t have to when he finally noticed that the tremble from Sunggyu’s body was already dwindling away, his breathing gradually evening out despite frail fingers still clinging unto his shirt.

But Woohyun still wanted to look into those eyes, had wanted the affirmation and Sunggyu somehow knew what the younger was looking for—so he had made it a point to gaze back unto those concerned eyes before he let on a convincing smile and gazed back at Jihun.

When Kim Sunggyu saw the devastated look on the younger’s feature though, he had almost wanted to say “ _it’s okay, you don’t have to apologise. Everything will be okay”_ but the words just wouldn’t leave his mouth. Sunggyu could barely stand on his own without clinging unto Woohyun, only then feeling how his throat had just suddenly felt so dry and so parched to the point that he couldn’t even emit a single sound.

He had wanted to talk to Jihun and maybe save him from any guilt that was surely bound to sprout, but he couldn’t even say a word and it irked him so much to know how useless he could be at times when he shouldn’t be. But Woohyun hadn’t let him dwell very long in his self-loathing when he all of the sudden had perked up on his toes before he had snapped his fingers merrily, already seeing a genius idea shaping itself in his own head.

“Wait a minute.” He had said, pulling up a small grin before he had thrown lively looks back and forth between Myungsoo and Sungyeol, earning a quite obvious riled look from both said male.

“What?” Sungyeol had only frowned when Woohyun was still sending them that _look_ and Sunggyu might not be able to say anything then, but he could already see where the younger was going when he had seen that hinted glance Woohyun were sending them.

“Yah, Lee Sungyeol, you’ve been here almost every practice right?” The male had startled them with his abrupt question.

“Uh, yeah…?” The said male raised an eyebrow.

“And you remembered all the scenes?” Woohyun had questioned further and all of them were just as clueless as to where the former was going with all these unrelated questions.

“Well, the ones with Myungsoo in it, yes…?” Still, he had been compliant as he answered the totally irrelevant question, Myungsoo flinching oddly when he had heard his name mentioned.

“And you’re a student in Musical and Acting, right?”

“Uh, yes. And why does that concern you..?” Sungyeol finally questioned back, his brain almost close to be fried to ashes as he forced himself to comprehend how him being a Musical and Acting student might be related to the whole nightmare. But he didn’t really have to think too hard when Woohyun had casually given him the answer he desperately needed.

“There! You guys have the replacement now!” Exclaimed Woohyun while looking at Jihun.

“Wait, what?!” Both Sungyeol and Myungsoo had yelled almost a bit too loud for everyone’s liking. They had all been anything but gaping as soon as the ridiculous suggestion finally sank in. It took another few seconds before Jinyoung whom had been quiet all along suddenly joined in—

“Well, Sungyeol does have the looks. And the height too.” He had contributed, Jihun and few others bobbing their heads, looking almost as if they were agreeing to such absurd plan B.

“Great, now it’s all settled then?” Woohyun commented, had clapped his hand as he looked at all of them expectantly.

“Wait, I never agreed to this!” Both of said victims had spoken all at the same time. And Sungyeol might have felt offended a little when he had heard Myungsoo said his exact same thought but he thought that maybe he could let that slide for now because apparently—he had a more pressing matter to care about. Seeing how opposed the lanky male was against his brilliant idea, Woohyun had quickly pulled himself away from Sunggyu before he made his way over towards Sungyeol.

“Yah, Lee Sungyeol.” He pulled the said guy over, their faces hung uncomfortably close for comfort before he whispered at the guy—sounding more like a hiss to be honest. “This could be your golden chance, you know. You could act by the Kim fucking Myungsoo’s side on a fucking theatre stage! I know you have the hots for him so why are you suddenly refusing now? You could’ve gotten closer to him this way.” He tried to persuade, although Woohyun had to admit that he just wasn’t good in doing so to someone who was just _not_ a certain _someone_.

“Well, that does sound appealing but—” Sungyeol had meant to oppose some more despite his then wavering heart but Woohyun was just not having it, just didn’t feel like putting in more effort in persuasion when the guy he was talking to was not someone he had wanted him to be. He would rather be _somewhere_ else, holding _someone_ in particular rather than being there, whispering to an obviously whipped man.

“My plan is always appealing! Now shut the fuck up and just agree to this. I know you want this.” Woohyun silenced the other before he straightened his back up and rolled his eyes when he had seen Sungyeol’s supressed grin.

“Okay, fine.” The latter had quietly said, had tried his best to appear indignant. “But just know that I’m only doing this for everyone, okay. Not doing this for myself. Yup, not at all.” He continued afterward, eyes looking at everyone except a certain dark-haired boy possibly named Myungsoo. Woohyun had to grin at that, couldn’t care less for the details.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you to sleep at nights.”

He had dismissed as he strode over to that certain someone, pressing his body close to Sunggyu’s side before he had thread his fingers through the other’s. Woohyun’s smile however could only stretch so much further when he had felt Sunggyu holding his hand back just as firm as he did.

 

 

 

When the college guard had came over and shooed them away, saying that it was already closing time, all of them finally dispersed with Sunggyu and Woohyun going their separate way while Myungsoo and Sungyeol had to stay back for extra practice. There was somehow a comfortable silence cloaking them when they were on their way home.

Both Sunggyu and Woohyun’s hands were still clasped together as they strolled down the quiet street, had somehow decided wordlessly to change their scenery for once and avoided going through _that_ intersection. Sunggyu appreciated the silent gesture, even if he hadn’t voiced it out. He really didn’t want to go through that area, especially not when he was still feeling a bit shaken and frightened from the event of the day. It was after a while when Woohyun suddenly busted the quiet.

“Hyung, you’re surprisingly quiet today.” He began, walking at a comfortable pace beside the elder. The latter could only nod his head then, didn’t really have the power to say anything else. And Sunggyu really didn’t know how Woohyun did it, but somehow, the younger male always knew which button to push, always knew what to say, and always seemed to know what the elder was thinking at times. It was strange, but Sunggyu was not about to complain either.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Woohyun had stated as a matter of fact, the words had almost sounded reasonable at one point but also almost had the elder scoffing in response. He was just scoffing at it because he just _couldn’t_ seem to agree with it.

“I’ve been trying to tell myself that, thanks.” He responded anyway, his voice sounding like sarcasm although he hadn’t really meant for it to sound that way. But Woohyun was kind-hearted and if ever, he hadn’t really perceived his response in a bad way at all. He had only responded as honest as he had sounded.

“Did it work?” He had asked back, honest and sincere.

“I’m still not talking that much, am I?” Sunggyu had wanted to snort at his own answer.

“Maybe you need someone to tell you that?” Woohyun kindly offered. Sunggyu knew it wouldn’t work in the way Woohyun might have wanted it to, but he thought that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to accept the offer still.

“Try me.” He replied almost in a lost murmur.

 

“ _It’s not your fault, hyung.”_ Woohyun said after a brief quiet. Sunggyu had to snort at the genius way of expression.

“Wow,” He had joshed. A faint smile cropping up on his lips although it was just barely there. “Thanks but that _really_ helped a lot.” Sunggyu let out a weak chuckle.

“Hyung, I’m serious.” Woohyun pouted, a little frustrated because it hadn’t seemed like the other was taking his words for real. The whiny tone of Woohyun’s voice had only made Sunggyu huffing out a defeated sigh before he briefly glanced at the other.

“But I could’ve helped, Woohyun.” Sunggyu’s voice was quiet when he had spoken them, almost of a whisper and it was a surprise how Woohyun had still caught the words clearly.

“But that wasn’t the point, Gyu.” He replied.

“Hyung—Sunggyu hyung. Don’t drop the hyung, brat.” Sunggyu had then said, hadn’t liked the tense atmosphere, had wanted to lift the heavy feeling off and maybe dropped the topic all over. Yet Woohyun just refused to do so when he had only breathed out and tightened the grasp on his hand. The small gesture itself was already spreading warmth from their point of contact to the bottom of Sunggyu’s stomach.

“If there’s one thing that you could’ve helped them with, Gyu—it’d be letting them happen as it would or should.” Woohyun continued, his voice had been so gentle and so careful yet it still had Sunggyu frowning confusedly, hadn’t exactly grasped the cryptic meaning behind those words.

Woohyun saw the puzzled look the other had put on, had acknowledged the confusion with a brief smile before he had tugged on Sunggyu and motioned him to head for a simple park just ahead of them. The younger took a few moments to sort out his thought in his head before he had begun talking again.

“I know your eyes had been the greatest gift from the Heaven.” He said. “Anyone would’ve wanted to have what you had. But Gyu,” Woohyun halted his steps and turned to stare into Sunggyu’s focused eyes.

“Have it ever occurred to you that your blessing might be an evil in disguise? A curse?” He asked, had hesitantly muttered the word _curse_ , afraid that the elder might be offended with his choice of word. And offended Sunggyu was when anger had briefly flashed through the latter’s foxy feature.

“What? Why would I even think that? _These_ _eyes_ helped others and me a lot for them to be _what_? A mere, evil _curse_?” Sunggyu’s voice was dripping with animosity when he had answered but it hadn’t discouraged the look on Woohyun’s face. He wasn’t even phased by Sunggyu’s sheer irritated look when he had only turned on his feet and faced the elder, never letting go of his hand.

“I’m not saying that it’s precisely a curse, Gyu. I don’t know how to convey this to you, but what I’m trying to say is that— the existence of this _gift,_ I just think that it might’ve or could’ve been a double-sided coin, or just a double-edged sword.” Woohyun was clambering with his words. “I know they had helped and guided a lot more than it could be a curse, but just— have you ever thought about what it had brought along with its _guidance_?” He had asked instead. Sunggyu couldn’t help the frown that was forming on his face, had only shaken his head hesitantly because no—he had never even once thought of any bad things that it might have brought with it. Heck, he had never thought it _could’ve_ brought anything negative at all.

“It had chipped away your happiness, Gyu.” Woohyun had given him the answer. “It squeezed your heart empty.”

Sunggyu never really thought that the answer could’ve hurt him in any way, but when he had heard those words rolling from his tongue, Sunggyu swore he could already feel his chest being stabbed and twisted horribly. And yet, that wasn’t even the end of Woohyun’s elaborate answer.

“And there’s more too, Gyu. Your eyes— _the eyes_ , they also blind the people of how the world should’ve been. Those people, they relied on your gift so much, _too_ much, that they’d taken you for granted. They thought they could skip or avoid one thing as long as they knew that it was coming. They didn’t remember that Kim Sunggyu is only a single human being. That in another part of the world, there is no Kim Sunggyu to foresee everything. They hadn’t realised that if you weren’t there, everything would’ve still happened. Even if you still had the eyes, Seungjun would’ve still gotten hurt if you hadn’t been there in the first place. Do you get what I’m trying to tell you?”

And Sunggyu couldn’t say a single word then, he was just _so_ speechless because _that_ had never ever crossed his thought at all, not even once.

“That’s why, stop thinking that you are responsible for the accident, hyung. You’re not, wasn’t even your fault in the first place. If you still think that it was your fault despite what I’ve told you, then just blame me, hyung. It’d hurt less.” The last words that escaped Woohyun’s lips however, had left the elder perplexed, had Sunggyu frowning again when the younger had offered such absurdity.

“Woohyun.” Sunggyu had called out after a brief moment; Woohyun had only hummed out a response then, a smile was already gracing his lips. It had totally taken the younger by surprise though—and maybe some awful pain too— when he had felt a finger flicking quite strongly against his bony forehead.

“Ouch!” He had hissed painfully, his free hand immediately flung up to rub on the sore spot.

“Yah, hyung! What was that for?!” He whined, bottom lips definitely pouting then. Kim Sunggyu however, had only beamed a smile at the younger after that, the kind of smile that had Woohyun’s pout disappearing just within seconds, a smile that had seemed so stunning and just so _sincere_ in Woohyun’s eyes.

“You know you’re just so stupid sometimes.” Sunggyu’s unexpected response had the other pouting his lips once again.

“What? I just gave you a very inspiring speech, hyung. If more than anything, I’d say I’m intelligent.” Woohyun had joked, but the grin he was already donning then had quickly morphed to a look of surprise when Sunggyu had unexpectedly reached out for the hand that was still rubbing on his forehead, had held onto it just as taut as their other hands were, squeezing.

“The speech was okay.” Sunggyu continued. “Sappy, but okay.”

“What, _just_ okay?” Woohyun mumbled, decided that it wouldn’t hurt to play a grouchy man for now, because Sunggyu was holding his hand, was still blindingly smiling, and was for once _not_ _angry_ with him. And there Sunggyu was, softly chuckling and eyes smiling that Woohyun could barely see those beautiful orbs, the jagged scar almost hidden in between the creases of his eyelids.

“But you’re stupid if you think that it’d hurt less by blaming you.” He added soon after.

“Maybe it’d hurt less now but it wasn’t because I’m blaming you, Woohyun.”

“What?”

“It’s because you gave me a reason _not_ to believe in myself.” Sunggyu had almost whispered those words, had Woohyun straining his ears just to hear them. He had still heard them, but he hadn’t understood.

“Wha—?” Woohyun found himself creasing his forehead but he couldn’t even voice his confusion when Sunggyu had suddenly tugged on their hands, had leaned on his toes before he briefly planted his lips on the other’s cheek. Sunggyu could already feel his cheeks heating, could already see the comical look Woohyun was putting on, but he had put the embarrassment aside when he had tenderly whispered a soft _“thank you”_ before he had swiftly let go of the hands and darted ahead, leaving the perplexed other behind.

Kim Sunggyu had left without Woohun—albeit with a shy and grateful smile as he walked away.

 

 _I don’t trust myself yet, I know a part of me still believe that it had been my fault—but you gave me a reason not to and that was enough. Enough for me to try and believe_ you _instead._

 

 

 


	9. You're not a caterpillar

# You're not a caterpillar

A whole week and a ruined and shredded pride later, Kim Sunggyu finally and _begrudgingly_ conceded to the voice of his heart. It was tough to acknowledge but Kim Sunggyu had _fucking_ missed Nam Woohyun. But _no_ , it wasn’t because the said male had annoyingly disappeared on him again. Contrary to that, the other had been very insistent in sticking to his side like glue and Sunggyu had honestly and quietly enjoyed the company. So no, it wasn’t because of that.

It was safe to say that Kim Sunggyu was only being the best friend that he always was and had _avoided_ Nam Woohyun instead. Well, Sunggyu would like to think that he was in fact, a loyal best friend and he knew that currently, Lee Sungyeol didn’t exactly need all of those unnecessary heartaches more than he already had so Sunggyu had only done what he deemed needed to— he had stayed away from Woohyun.

“Gyu-hyung!” Woohyun had once waved just a few days after the whole ordeal, expression bright as ever as he had motioned the elder to take the seat besides him. And Sunggyu would’ve really beamed back at the male, would’ve gladly sat down at the pointed seat— if only his eyes hadn’t caught another silhouette on Woohyun’s other side.

 _Kim fucking Myungsoo,_ Sunggyu had almost wanted to groan as soon as he had seen him. Rolling his eyes annoyed with an obviously loud grunt, the elder quickly grabbed Sungyeol’s wrist and trudged away—looking for a different vacant table.

“Gyu, I’m really fine. We can just sit with them—“

“No, you’re fucking not fine, Sungyeol. And even if you _were,_ which I know you’re not, I freaking don’t want to sit with a prick like him, so no. We’re not sitting with them. Now shut up and help me find a table.” Sunggyu had almost hissed then, his grip tightening just a little.

“Ah, there’s Mark and Jinyoung. Let’s just join them.” Sunggyu said, authoritative—not taking a ‘no’ for an answer as Sungyeol had only so very quietly complied.

 

 

Sunggyu hadn’t recalled any situation that could be responsible for the sudden air of tension between both Sungyeol and Myungsoo, but he at least had a working brain to figure out that the change was only there a day _after_ they had done their stage.

There weren’t many words that could describe the stage their friends had performed that day, but Sunggyu was certain that one of them would be _fucking amazing_ —okay make it two words. But no, he wasn’t only saying that because he was their friend and he might just be a little biased—maybe too biased, _whom was he kidding?_ —but Sunggyu was entirely convinced that his biasness had rooted from a good, solid ground when both their friends had legitimately blown every brains in the hall away if the gaping mouths were of any indication.

Undeniably, the whole university had always been in love with Myungsoo’s acting, the way he portrayed his character, the intensity of his eyes, the complex martial art tricking—everyone had always loved the actor and his multiple talents; and they could only admire him even more when the red curtain had slid close and they were all _gawking_ at the unexpected ending.

What they hadn’t expected was to see Lee Sungyeol having almost the same intensity when it had came down to their acting skills. The way Sungyeol had acted his character out, purely violent, ridiculously psychotic and heavily scarred—he had all but left the audience breathless when he had pierced himself with his own sword just to drag Myungsoo’s character along and delivered the striking line _“if I can’t have it, so can’t you”._

There had been a brief, stunned silence when they were all still trying to process how twisted yet realistic the ending had been, before the audience had rewarded them with a standing ovation, whistling and yelling how amazing the performance had been.

Sunggyu couldn’t feel any more prouder when he had watched how his friends and their crews had relished in the short bliss, how they had held each other’s hands and bowing their gratitude together, had all but turned to beam at each other showing how pleased they were with the successful stage. Jihun, Sunggyu noticed, had especially beamed the brightest when he had caught the silhouette of a certain someone on a wheelchair, clapping his hands proudly before the said male had spread his arms open to receive Jihun’s warmest hug.

Kim Sunggyu had to smile at that, relief inanimately spreading through him when he had seen Seungjun’s fingers rising to pinch on Jihun’s cheeks. Seungjun was okay, maybe a broken leg and some horrible bruises elsewhere but he was otherwise looking fine—and that was all Sunggyu needed to release him from the guilt that had slowly been eating him ever since. Still at the end of the day, Sunggyu thought nothing had gone particularly wrong so he could only safely assume that their sudden strain hadn’t originated from back then.

So he tried to recall their extra practices prior to the day of the stage, but he just couldn’t pinpoint if there had been a time that both Sungyeol and Myungsoo hadn’t gotten along. Both Sunggyu and Woohyun had been hanging out at the practices, had waited until their practices were done before they would go pick something up to eat. Sunggyu would’ve been pretty dense and a _pretty bad friend_ if he hadn’t noticed _anything_ at all. So that’s why, if there _had_ been some sort of tension between them by then, Sunggyu surely would’ve known.

It was only until a few days later when the elder had finally noticed, and even more so convinced of their strained friendship because apparently— Myungsoo had been making it a point to avoid Sungyeol and had done his very best to avoid just all of them in general just so he could be more _subtle_ about it. Sungyeol had been depressed, but Sunggyu thought it wasn’t his place to meddle and so had only hoped that whatever problem they had would eventually resolve with passing time.

Only— it never really did.

Sunggyu even dared to say that the situation had possibly taken to a worse turn when Sungyeol had _brilliantly_ cornered Myungsoo in an attempt to mend or sort out whatever their problem was a few days later. But it probably wasn’t the best course of event when the supposed discussion had somehow turned into a heated argument, which had ended with Myungsoo storming off and Sungyeol breaking his endless tear dam.

“Okay, fuck this. Sungyeol, you’re sleeping at my place today. I’m going to get you drunk tonight.” Sunggyu had brashly exclaimed after that, was a little more than pissed off because he was confused and he just needed to find out what the heck was going on between those two.

So when Sungyeol had splayed out on the mattress, cheeks red in a tipsy spell and nose disgustingly dripping with mucus, Sunggyu was oddly satisfied.

“I wash shoooo shtupidh!” was what Sungyeol had slurred once he was drunk out of his mind. Sunggyu knew that it might’ve been a bad decision to get the long-limbed male this sloshed but the only way he could find out the truth was by inducing a drunk Sungyeol. A drunk Sungyeol had always been an honest Sungyeol, if not a little too honest that he had even gotten into troubles sometimes—especially that one time when Sunggyu had to bail him out of lock-up.

“Aren’t you always?” Sunggyu snorted at him then, only taking a small sip of the alcohol, wanted to excuse himself from the brutality of a hangover because he definitely didn’t want to go through Mr. Park’s class with a severe headache that could rip through his brain. No, that would be suicidal.

“I am!” Sungyeol had pouted and his eyes shut close. “But I wash jush too shtupidh thish timeeeee!” He garbled on. Sunggyu could only wince when his friend had suddenly sneezed and sputtered his mucus all over before he had reached out for some tissues and wiped them away.

“So, what did you do that was _‘sho shtupidh’?_ ” Sunggyu thought that he might just as well went along with his friend’s drunken talk, although he hadn’t exactly expected to find Sungyeol suddenly giggling out of his wits, his loose fists hovering over his lower lips when he had all but thrown a _very_ suggestive look at the sober male. Sunggyu’s eyes had only grown larger at that.

“Fucking—yah, Lee Sungyeol! Don’t tell me you fucking raped the guy?!” He had screeched, gasping because _bloody hell!_ He didn’t really do that, did he?

“Nuuuuuu!” Sungyeol had giggled again after that and Sunggyu thought that it would have been a funny scene if only he wasn’t the one Sungyeol was giggling to. “I kissed him! On the lips! And they were shoooo shoft!” Sungyeol let on, flopped his body unto the mattress before flailing around like a freaking fan girl. Sunggyu inevitably huffed out the breath that he wasn’t even aware he’d been holding at the revelation.

“Oh, that’s it? I thought you raped him. I was just about to shove you to jail just because you’re so fucking annoying when you’re drunk.” Sunggyu said, smacking his friend’s head playfully before he continued.

“And so what’s the big deal? Okay, you kissed him. But you’ve done same, if not grosser things to him. You fucking threatened to eat his face during his practice in front of his whole crew. And that didn’t affect your friendship with him at all before this. So something else must’ve happened. Something _way_ worse than just a simple peck.”

Sungyeol’s giggle suddenly mellowed down before he was already pouting again.

“I only kissed him a little!” He had whined before flailing his legs all over—almost kicking Sunggyu in the chin.

“Lee Sungyeol.” The elder narrowed his eyes at the splayed male, voice stern.

“Oke, fineeeeee. I maybe kinda groped his assh too.” He finally confessed.

“His what?!” Sunggyu’s jaws dropped.

“Assh!” Sungyeol had claimed once again with a very naughty grin before smacking his own butt.

“Wha—“ The elder male was more than speechless then, but Sungyeol hadn’t noticed the state of shock Sunggyu had been in when he had gladly rambled on.

“And Gyuuuuu! Lishen to meeee! After that, he pushed me away and, and he stepped on my baby juniorrrrrrr!” The long-limbed male pouted a little and that had the elder scrunching his face because—

“Okay, TMI.” He commented, wincing.

“I wanted to apologisseeee. So I shtopped him. And I told him I wash shorry but he told me to fuck off. But I don’t want to sho I shaid shorry again and again and again and I tried to shtop him from leaving. But then he flinched shoooo bad and made a vewyyy dishgushted look. Like I wash—I wash a _caterpiwwar_!” Sungyeol shoved his face into the mattress.

“But caterpillar is not disgusting?” Sunggyu sighed as he shifted closer to the younger male.

“It ish! Shoooo dishgushting like a cat!” He had muffled his voice against the fabric of the mattress.

“But I thought you said cat is cute?” Sungyeol shook his head.

“Nuuuu, not anymoweeeee!” He whined.

“So is that the reason you guys have been avoiding each other?”

Sungyeol shook his head again. “I’m avoiding Myungshoo becaushe I know he doesn’t want to shee me. I’m dishgushting.” His voice was already fading then, a sign Sunggyu remembered that the other male was near to passing out.

“Lee Sungyeol, you’re not disgusting.” Still, he had tried to convince.

“But I ammmmmm. I’m dishgushtinggggg and I’m a caterpiwwar that looks like a cat and a chicken combineddddd!” Sunggyu scrunched his face at the image.

“Okay, well, that does sound disgusting.” He quietly commented, only because he knew that Sungyeol had totally passed out then, knew that the other wouldn’t hear him. Gently, Sunggyu pulled the blanket over his friend, tucking him in before he sighed a little.

“You’re not a caterpillar, Yeol.” The elder murmured before he too, had lay down on the bed by the other’s side and tried to let sleep wash over him. But the sleep just wouldn’t come when the soft snores of Sungyeol’s had kept him awake, not because they were disturbing his peace, but because they reminded Sunggyu of how wounded Sungyeol was.

The latter might have sounded pretty fine when he was drunk just a while ago, but Sunggyu had known better, had understood that the drunken talk was _way_ more than just mere confession. After all, Lee Sungyeol wouldn’t let himself to get _that_ drunk if he _himself_ hadn’t wanted to. And that in it’s own was definitely saying a lot.

This time, Lee Sungyeol was genuinely hurt.

 

 

Yet Sunggyu still tried to understand. He tried not to be too biased to his own friend that he would put all the blame on Myungsoo. He knew that Sungyeol was at some point, at fault too—he wouldn’t deny that. So the elder had reasoned out to himself, had told himself that _maybe Myungsoo just needed some time to sort things out._

And so the time he gave him, yet it hadn’t even been a week when Sunggyu thought waiting wasn’t worth the heartaches Myungsoo was putting Sungyeol in when the said male had blatantly _rejected_ his friend’s attempt of reconciliation.

“What the fuck, Myungsoo?” Sunggyu had hissed then, glaring at the expressionless male as he stood there, looking unabashed when Sungyeol’s face had looked nothing but crestfallen from the harsh word.

“What?” Myungsoo mumbled.

“Sungyeol was just asking you if you were okay. Do you have to be so fucking rude about it?” The elder had growled while Sungyeol had only slumped back, Woohyun all the while looking a little more alarmed than before at Sunggyu’s snarl.

“What? I said I’m fine.” Myungsoo simply retorted.

“No, you fucking said, and I quote, _I’m fucking fine!_ ” Sunggyu was already borderline screaming then.

“So?” Myungsoo had even dared to retort. Woohyun was already tugging on Myungsoo’s arm when he had seen Sunggyu’s face flushing an even deeper shade of red.

“And _fucking_ isn’t exactly an okay word to be used when someone is genuinely asking you if you’re okay!”

“Well, you’ve been using that not-okay word _fucking_ so many times and that somehow makes it okay?!”

“Because I’m not the one who is fuckingly in love with you, you fucktard!”

“Sunggyu!”

 _Shit. Fuck. Shit._ Sunggyu suddenly remembered the promise he had made with Sungyeol that morning after their drunken heart-to-heart talk, had promised that he wouldn’t tell a soul about Sungyeol’s confession when Sunggyu had forced it out of the said male, threatening with a “ _you better confess now or I’ll tell Myungsoo about it”_ before Sungyeol had finally conceded in a bout of panic.

“Y- Yeol. Shit. Fuck.” The elder cursed under his breath, guilt gradually slipping in when he had seen the look Sungyeol had given him. The male had looked so _very_ mortified.

“Wha—“ Myungsoo’s voice had clogged in his throat, eyes blinking slowly as he tried to process the new fact. Sungyeol casted the guy a brief glance, had seen the blank look on Myungsoo’s feature before he ran off, hadn’t wanted to see how disgusted his crush would have looked if he had waited even just a little more.

“Sungyeol!” Sunggyu had called out, but he hadn’t ran after him, had just stayed there, frozen and stunned because obviously, Kim Sunggyu had messed up.

“He loves me…?” Myungsoo had mumbled out briefly after that, still looking blank and clueless. Sunggyu was pretty sure that Myungsoo had only meant for them to be a whisper but he had still heard them and it had Sunggyu’s lips twitching in anger when he had turned back and growled at the other.

“Since I already fucked this up for Sungyeol, might as well just fuck this up even more right?” He began, startling both Myungsoo and Woohyun.

“You know, for someone whom was raised overseas pretty much half your life, you are unexpectedly just like all those homophobic douchebags that ruined my best friend’s life.”

“What?” Sunggyu scoffed.

“You might think that all these avoiding shit you’re doing is actually doing a favour for both of you but fuck that, Kim Myungsoo! You don’t! You just don’t do that to someone whom has had his life thrown into shit just because he was born gay! You don’t do that to him and make him feel like he was in his past all over again! He fucking don’t deserve this shit when he had changed so much and is nothing but a ball of sunshine now!”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“You still don’t get it, do you? Then let me just summarise Lee Sungyeol’s life in one, brief sentence.”

“He almost fucking died because some fucktards decided that being gay was disgusting and the world need to rid them from the surface. And you out of all, Myungsoo, are the worst fucktard ever because I’m sure you got the hint that he loves you, and you just had to behave just like all those fuckers. So please, if you’re going to avoid him, do a better job and don’t ever show your face in front of him again. You’re just a fucking douchebag.”

If Sunggyu had stayed just for a bit longer though, he would’ve heard Myungsoo’s voice that came out soon after, would’ve seen the blank look that had morphed into something else.

“Fuck.”

The heated argument finally died down.

 

 

As such, the intense quarrel eventually faded into a cold war between them. Sungyeol had initially avoided Sunggyu too, had cooped himself up in his house until the latter had barrelled through his door with endless apologies and a promise to make up for his mistake. Several times Myungsoo had tried to initiate contact with Sungyeol but the latter had avoided this time and one time that Myungsoo had managed to corner Sungyeol, Sunggyu had conveniently been there to barricade the said male from the other.

On one hand, Sunggyu knew he shouldn’t be doing what he did when their friends could’ve reconciled over a very long and well-thought conversation but on the other hand, the former was just so damn pissed off and he just couldn’t bear to see Sungyeol’s heart break all over again if Myungsoo ever decided to say something stupid.

And then there’s also Woohyun— caught and torn about having to choose between his best friend and Kim Sunggyu. The latter had felt guilty for putting the said make in such a tight situation so he thought that he might as well just made the choice easier for the other when Sunggyu had decided to avoid _both_ Woohyun and Myungsoo altogether. It hurt Woohyun no less but it probably caused less damage then he would have if ever he made the decision himself.

So when Sunggyu had inevitably found a certain brown-haired male at the doorstep of his house one night, his heart had impossibly leapt almost out of his chest, his stomach flipping into several somersaults as he unattractively gaped at the said boy.

“How did you find my house?” He managed to ask, a crease adorning his forehead as he took in the sight of the younger—drenched.

“Hi, hyung.” Woohyun had however grinned instead. “Can I come in? It’s freezing cold.” He made it a point to rub on both of his arms, body slightly shivering.

“It’s raining and freaking 11 at night, Woohyun. Of course it’s freezing. Now just get in, you idiot stalker.” Sunggyu shook his head before he had stepped aside and swung the door wider. The younger gladly received the welcome and stepped in before he closed the door shut behind him.

“Hey, you hadn’t called me that in a long time.” He had pouted, although there was a hint of an amused smile ghosting over the jutted lips. Sunggyu had only rolled his eyes.

“Yes, thanks for reminding me again.” He took a step towards the stairs before he turned back. “I’ll just go get you a towel and a new set of clothes, so just stay put.” He said and sprinted up the plight of stairs. Just about two minutes later, he came down with a pile of clothes and shoved them into Woohyun’s hands.

“Here.” He said before he placed himself on the leather couch. “You can change in the toilet—just right at that corner.” He pointed to its direction. Woohyun sheepishly smiled and strode over.

“Thanks, Gyu hyung.” He thanked the member before disappearing behind the door. It hadn’t been long before Woohyun was already back in the living room, propping himself by Sunggyu’s side, their shoulders impossibly close and wet towel slung over.

“Why are you here?” The elder began, not bothering to glance at the other when his eyes had only gazed ahead towards the television—screening a late night show.

“Can’t I be here to see you?” Woohyun replied, leaning just slightly closer to Sunggyu before his head lowered into the elder’s shoulder. He waited briefly for Sunggyu to shake his head off but when the other had only answered his question before his shoulders had distinctly relaxed to his touch—Woohyun could only grin oddly pleased.

“Again, it’s freaking 11 at night, Woohyun. No one just came by just to see someone at this hour…” Sunggyu retorted, his hands were strangely rigid in his laps, probably hadn’t known where to place them especially that the other was incredibly pressed close to his side.

“Maybe I do.” Woohyun’s voice came out in a gentle whisper as his right hand searched for Sunggyu’s before he threaded their fingers together—a warm gesture that sent blood rushing to the apple of the elder’s cheeks as he returned the gesture.

“That’s—“ _Nice,_ Sunggyu had thought but had only replied with a playful “—just creepy” after that. He could almost hear the pout in Woohyun’s words when he had later responded.

“But really, I just want to see you.” The younger sent a momentary squeeze to Sunggyu’s hand. The squeeze however, Sunggyu had thought, was a little too strong for it to just be a mere _‘I wanted to see you’_ sort of feeling. It was firm and cold—and Sunggyu swore he had felt a faint tremble through their connected hands. He knew that it could’ve just been the weather, the rain, and the cold air, but if Sunggyu had ever learned anything from his recent, horrible _experience_ —it was definitely to trust his own instinct.

“To the point that you would get yourself soaked wet in the middle of the night?” The elder questioned, had honestly hoped that Woohyun would say his thoughts—but of course he wouldn’t. Woohyun was still a box of mystery.

“… Yeah.” Sunggyu could hear the brief hesitation and he could only sighed inwardly before he squeezed Woohyun’s hand back.

“I have an inkling that you’re lying but fine.” He told the younger. _I’ll wait for you,_ he thought.

“So, hyung, where’s your family?” Woohyun had asked instead, fixing his head’s position before he had propped his chin over Sunggyu’s shoulder. The latter snorted.

“Yah, stalker. Need I remind you again that—“

“—it’s freaking 11 at night?” Woohyun sheepishly had continued his sentence then, already grinning as he too began staring at the television’s screen.

“Yeah, that,” The elder had only quirked a smile before continuing. “They’re sleeping upstairs.” He kindly briefed before he felt the chin on his shoulder dipping deeper into his bone, probably Woohyun’s attempt to nod his head without levitating his head away.

“Were you too?” The younger probed back and it took Sunggyu’s a few seconds longer before he finally decided to tell.

“I wasn’t.”

“What were you doing then?”

“Nothing. Just lazing around down here and watch some stupid late night show.”

“Can’t sleep?” Woohyun began fiddling on Sunggyu’s fingers then. The latter let out an amused huff as he let himself marvel into the younger’s gentle touches.

“I wouldn’t be here if I did, Woohyun.” The said male had only chuckled at his answer.

“Touché.” He agreed before letting the silence cloak the space, both male cosily melding into each other’s warmth. An awesome late night performance by BTS later, Woohyun finally decided to fill in the silence.

 

“Hyung,” he called, Sunggyu only humming back in response.

“I’m sorry.” The unexpected apology immediately pulled Sunggyu’s attention back to the younger male from the television.

“What for?” He frowned, puzzled.

“For a lot of things,” Woohyun had vaguely answered instead.

“And which are…?” Sunggyu had asked back, taking a lot longer before his bubbling curiosity was finally quenched.

“… About Sungyeol.” Woohyun’s reply had Sunggyu’s frown digging deeper than intended then.

“It wasn’t your fault, Woohyun.” The elder had stated as a matter of fact.

“But Myungsoo is my best friend and he was being a bit—uh, I’m just… sorry about him.” Woohyun was stumbling with words and Sunggyu had only shaken his head, his soft locks caressing Woohyun’s cheeks as he did so.

“If you’re sorry because of what he did, then don’t. It doesn’t excuse what he did but I sort of understand where he’s coming from. And he’s your best friend, so of course you would be sticking to his side. I would honestly smack your huge head if you don’t.” He had rationalized, so when Woohyun hadn’t responded to his words, Sunggyu had to give the younger a convincing squeeze on their hands again.

“I know I’m still a little mad at him but—“ the elder began but when he failed to find the better way to word his thought out, he had blurted out instead— “Myungsoo’s straight right?” The abrupt question unsurprisingly startled the other male.

“Oh, uh, yeah… I guess.” Woohyun’s answer hadn’t been convincing but Sunggyu thought that was enough for then.

“It probably came as a shock when Sungyeol did _all that_.” The elder had used his free hand to gesture at the last words. Woohyun’s lips quirked up into an amused smile when he’d heard the elder.

“I honestly don’t know much about what happened. I just know that they _kissed_? I really don’t think it was much but maybe, Myungsoo was just surprised? Taken aback? I don’t know.” Sunggyu could feel Woohyun shrugging his shoulders as he spoke.

“Hey, it’s a kiss on the lips. I don’t think it would be a ‘ _not much’_ kinda kiss for him now that I think about it. But yeah, that’s not the only reason Myungsoo had freaked out though.” Sunggyu had _almost_ pouted then but when he had heard Woohyun’s unabashed snort in response, Sunggyu completely went into full pouting mode.

“What, it’s just on the lips. No big deal.” Woohyun countered playfully, fixing his head over Sunggyu’s shoulder, his face then directly pointing to the elder’s side profile.

“It _is_ a big deal!” Sunggyu had whined. “I’ve never even had my first kiss yet!” He grumbled yet with another pout that had Woohyun grinning as he marvelled on the elder’s adorable whim.

“It is? But you kissed my cheek like you’re experienced!” Woohyun teased, still obnoxiously grinning.

“Oh my god, did you just—did you just bring that up?” Sunggyu’s face had flushed in deep, bright red when he had brought his free hand to hide the blush. “And it’s just a peck! It doesn’t count!” The smaller male retorted.

“Hyung, you’re old enough to get married and you haven’t even had your first kiss yet? So grandpa-ish.” Woohyun was already throwing him a frivolous, judging look.

“Yah, you brat! Like you were any better. I bet you don’t even know how to kiss!” Sunggyu had barked back, had taunted the younger although it hadn’t been his intention to.

“Oh, how would you know? You’ve never kissed me before and I’ve never kissed you too.” Woohyun wiggled his brows, obviously investing into his teasing mode.

“Excuse me, I’m a very dominant person. I kiss people, and not the other way round!”

“You sure about that? Because the blush you had the other day…“ Woohyun intentionally trailed his voice with round, knowing eyes.

“Oh god, can you please stop—“ Sunggyu’s blush had horribly darkened then, his hand already slipping out of Woohyun’s as he attempted to fan his heated face.

“A dominant person doesn’t really blush, hyung.” Woohyun reminded, even dared to chuckle at the elder.

“I’m not blushing!” Sunggyu had still tried to counter.

“Really, hyung? So what am I seeing now?” Woohyun had pestered with a cheeky grin when Sunggyu, to their _pleasant_ mistake, had snapped his head towards Woohyun in angry bout, only to widen their eyes impossibly huge as they felt lips ghosting over lips, their breath were warmly melding together.

There had been a brief, dazed pause when they were still processing their close proximity, and Sunggyu was convinced that just a soft tug forward from either one of them would’ve slotted their lips together. But neither had given in to the pull, almost as if there had been a magnet in the small space between them, pulling them so very close to each other yet just not strong enough to finally let their lips meet.

“Hyung? Who’s that?” A familiar voice had jolted them awake from their dazed spell, had only realised their compromising position before they had scrambled away from each other, blood rushing rapidly under their skin.

“O-oh! Yugyeom!” Sunggyu stuttered before he casted Woohyun a fleeting, embarrassed look. “Um, just a friend. Why are you still up?” He blinked his eyes at his brother, barely recognising a blush similar to his own coloring Woohyun’s cheeks.

“I woke up to pee before I heard voices. You guys are really loud. What are you guys doing? Were you playing games?” Yugyeom had whined, rubbing the sleep off of his eye.

“Nothing!” His voice pitched a little too loud for the sleep boy. “Nothing at all, Yugyeom-ah. Go back to sleep.” He shooed the other away, had desperately prayed his brother would finally leave them alone and _maybe_ they could finally fix the tension between them.

“You too, hyung. It’s already late.” Yugyeom nodded his head before he glanced at Woohyun. “Is your friend staying over? I can just sleep somewhere else if he is.” He kindly offered, taking both Sunggyu and Woohyun by surprise with the unexpected invitation.

“Huh? Oh, that. So umm, are you…?” Sunggyu braved himself to turn back towards Woohyun, was certain that the blush on his cheeks hadn’t exactly disappear yet. The younger had brashly shaken his head then, gulping down an inexistent lump in his throat before he rose up from the couch.

“N-no, I’ll just take my leave now. And, sorry for the noises, Yugyeom-ssi.” Woohyun slightly bowed his head, avoiding Sunggyu’s eyes.

“Are you sure you’re not gonna crash here? It’s already pretty late.” Yugyeom asked back, concerned. Woohyun had only curtly smiled at the youngest and nodded his head.

“I’m sure. Thanks anyway, Yugyeom-ssi.” He thanked him before he briefly glanced at Sunggyu, pointing to the door. “Uh, I’ll leave now. Could you…?” Woohyun didn’t complete his sentence when Sunggyu had quickly nodded his head and led the younger male to the entrance.

“Be careful, hyung!” Yugyeom had shouted a little before he disappeared back into his room. Sunggyu however had only avoided Woohyun’s gaze as the latter stood facing him just outside the house.

“Good night, hyung.” Woohyun had whispered and Sunggyu had wanted to bid the younger good night back when he had suddenly felt warm, soft lips gently touching the black locks over his forehead.

The elder had then snapped his head up in surprise, stunned frozen when Woohyun had smiled and waved a hand, leaving Sunggyu gaping at the door.

 

 

That night, Sunggyu had gone to bed with flushed cheeks and a striking smile, but the dream that visited him afterwards was _far_ from petals and rainbows.

When he had woken up the next morning, all Sunggyu could retain was a man riding the storm, soaring as he left Sunggyu drowning in deep blue water with a whisper he could barely remember.

Kim Sunggyu choked himself awake.

 

 


	10. Another scar to heal

# Another scar to heal

 _That man_ , the man in the dream, Kim Sunggyu just couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that he _knew_ him, that he’s, familiar. He didn’t remember the dream vividly per se, but he thought he remembered it enough. He remembered the feeling he had, vaguely recalled that he’d floated in the harsh waves of deep, Blue Ocean. He’d watched that _man_ standing over the surface of the vast sea, looking down at him before he was suddenly pulled to drown, and then all he could hear afterward was his own choked struggles and a brash wind of whispers that he could barely remember.

So he’d retained that much, but _that much_ just wasn’t enough for him to make sense of everything, to figure these mysteries out.

Sunggyu had been getting this sort of dreams every once in a while these past few months. He had used to ignore them, had thought that it was probably only a _dream._ But it was getting more often than not, even during the brief naps he’d managed to squeeze in during the day, and they had begun to itch on his mind because now, they hadn’t felt like they were _just_ a dream.

More often than he could remember, Sunggyu would always found himself woken up to tears on his cheeks, or sweats down his temples, or gasping for air, or even finding his hand reaching out in the air like it would when it’s trying to grasp for something— but just _what_?

He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know because he couldn’t even remember it even if he _did_ know.

Sunggyu was getting restless; he’d lost a fair amount of sleep over the whole ordeal. It’d take a brainless and a blind man not to notice the growing bags under his eyes, or the lack of appetite he’d shown in the way he’d only picked on his plate but barely swallowing them down. Yet he’d _never_ told anyone. He would faintly smile and shook his head when Sungyeol had shown his worries about it, would shrug it off and changed the subject when Woohyun had asked him about it sometime during their frequent secret hang outs over Sunggyu’s place.

They’re affecting him, yes, but he thought, that it was all the more reason _not_ to tell them because then, they’d worry more, they’d ask more questions and Sunggyu honestly had no answers for them. He didn’t understand why it was happening to him _now_ , didn’t know if any of those dreams had even meant anything, and if they _had_ , Sunggyu knew nothing of what they’d been trying to tell him.

He could barely remember them; much less deciphering what behind meaning they might be holding. So he didn’t tell them. He would, Sunggyu thought, maybe one of these days, _but_ only when he was sure about those dreams himself, when he’d cracked them down and understood whatever messages or hints they’re telling him.

But he wouldn’t know, wouldn’t be able to do so, because those dreams were only there as fragments of something he could never think of. It would take something entirely else for Kim Sunggyu to understand them, _something_ that he just wasn’t ready for – it might happen soon, but only and only when _He_ is ready.

 

 

It was a breezy, chilly morning when Sunggyu had decided to take a walk outside. It was cold, but he actually found it hard to mind the freezing air when his mind was already numbed and his body, exhausted from the swirling, unanswered questions and the lack of sleep.

He had only decided to have that walk because it was Wednesday, and the earliest class he had wouldn’t start until 11 a.m. He had also thought that a brief walk might actually help ease his restlessness or at least took his mind off of his misery even just for a little while.

So he tried to empty his mind, had tried to think of just simply _nothing_ , and had even tried to convince himself to just relish in the chill breeze and the warm sunlight on his skin, but that thought had somehow, someway turned into an unavoidable _mistake_ that he’d wished he hadn’t made.

It was already a little too late for Sunggyu to realise that a blank mind and an aimless stroll together, could have brought the worst possible outcome of what was supposed to be a calming walk.

Because then, just somehow and someway, the temporary, useless _brain_ of his legs had led him to _that_ place, the one place that he hadn’t visited ever since _that_ accident.

 _Oh_ , just how much Sunggyu had missed that place— he really had no idea.

 

_“Yah, I’ve always wanted to ask. You always frequent that store and always buy a CD every few days no matter old or new. Why is that?”_

 

He could almost hear Sungyeol’s voice ringing in his ears, had _almost_ smiled as he recalled his favourite store— but the smile could never really make its way unto his thin lips when what he had expected to see never really fell into his vision.

He couldn’t help but _freeze_ in front of the shop—a _different_ shop.

_No._

He felt dread bulking up in his chest as he shook his head and took a step closer towards the shop – the old, worn out entrance was no more in view. Only a brand new modern entryway and a freshly hung plate of a totally different name had occupied the space instead. He raked his eyes over the shop once again, then spied the surroundings once more – just to ensure that he hadn’t came to a wrong place. Maybe, he’d taken a wrong turn. Maybe, he was confused because it had been months since he visited the place.

But he wasn’t. Kim Sunggyu still remembered that burger franchise just across the shop, had been one of their most valuable customers since he had always dropped by every time Sungyeol and him had came to visit the shop.

 _It couldn’t be,_ he had thought. _There’s no way._ He had refused to believe.

He could feel the reluctance in his steps as he walked into the new store; his eyes roaming around only to try convincing himself that _maybe_ it had only been a brand new renovation of the same store. Maybe its owner had managed to attract new, loyal customers while Sunggyu was recuperating, had gained more and more money and possibly renewed the place all over. But the inside of the new store was nothing close to what it used to be.

It had been CDs and DVDs all over, and then a corner just for customers to listen to previews of the songs, then another corner where Sunggyu had especially loved to linger around to write all the little things and pasted them on the _Post-it-music_ board _._ It was such a warm and cosy place for the musically oriented Sunggyu.

But the freshly painted store had _nothing_ of those sorts. There were no CDs, no DVDs and no more of those corners. Only racks with organised books, comfy cushions for a place to read, small tables for hot bereavement and the fragrant mixture of books and coffees altogether that filled the place.

It was just _different—_ too different.

 

“Hi,” an unfamiliar voice suddenly greeted, had broken the reverie Sunggyu was dwelling in. He gingerly turned on his heels to meet a fairly young boy bowing politely, his body cladded in funky attire that somehow suited the brightly decorated store.

“How may I help you?” He heard the other asked, a polite smile still etching on his lips.

“H–hi,” Sunggyu stuttered out, “I, uh, sorry.” Words just wouldn’t form in the midst of his turmoil. He could already feel pain stinging his parched throat, as he tried swallowing nothing down.

“I just, um, just wanted to ask,” he began after a while, had seemingly finally collected his thought.

“What—“ he gingerly swallowed, “what happen to the music store that used to be here?” The younger boy would’ve heard the quaver in his voice had he been more tentative and less distracted over every potential customer that passed by.

“Hm? Oh, that Destiny Musical store?” The other replied, tilting his head back to the elder male while Sunggyu had only barely dipped his head in an attempt of a nod.

“It was shut down a few months back. Our owner bought this place and opened this shop. We’re still only a few weeks old actually,” the employee grinned a little too bright for Sunggyu’s forlorn mood.

“It was shut down?” he echoed back, a frown taking over his face.

“Yes,” the other actively bobbed his head.

“Then, what happened to the owner of that store?” Sunggyu could almost recall the vision he had once seen, had internally begged that it didn’t happen as he remembered. But, the hesitant shake of the other’s head had only betrayed his thought, could feel something breaking inside his chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know about that. I was only recently employed here,” he had regretfully answered but still, the answer hadn’t make the sudden growing bitterness in his throat go away. In fact, it had only grown even bitterer, harsher at the indefinite fate of the previous owner.

“I – I see,” he bit on his lips harshly, “and uh, thank you,” he thanked the employee after a while. “Sure thing! Oh, but do come again, okay? I brew great coffees!” He had faintly heard as the door dinged close behind him. He had rushed to leave the vicinity, had just let his legs took him away, further and further away from the Library Café, away from the once his favourite music store, and also possibly away from the _memory_ of his own vision too.

Sunggyu barely memorised all of his visions. He didn’t think he _could_ remember them even if he wanted to because there were just _too_ many of them. It was impossible to retain everything. His memory had always been selective on what he was going to store in that little space of his head. And _the store_ had always been one of them.

He still remembered when he’d seen the sad, _sad_ look on the old man’s face as he watched the bank confiscated his shop. He still remembered the glossy eyes and the taut look on the old man’s grandson’s face when all he could do was hold back the tears and watched all the contents of their shops being sent away in huge boxes. He remembered their torn, disappointed looks when they had to finally hand the keys to their store back to its rightful owner.

Sunggyu hated those looks. He had _vowed_ to help them when he had seen that vision, had tried to prevent that _unwanted_ future from happening when he kept coming back to the store to buy something every few days. He had wanted to change his vision. But it was futile; he hadn’t changed anything at all.

Kim Sunggyu was once again, _useless_.

He wanted to cry _so_ much just from the sheer thought of his uselessness. He even honestly thought that he _would_ cry, yet, strangely enough, Sunggyu hadn’t.

He already knew the store would shut down. And he _also_ knew that his vision could always change its course. He had always have the optimism of a destiny changing, had always believed that people could _change_ them. So when for the first time in a _long,_ long while, Sunggyu had failed to do so— he already had the thought that he would’ve cried a little, if not a gallon. Because _why wouldn’t he?_

But he _hadn’t_.

It was strange. Why were his eyes too dry? Why wouldn’t he cry when he could almost literally feel sharps clawing at the pit of his stomach? _Why?_

The walk back to his college afterwards was strangely quiet – was uneventful despite his malfunctioning brain and his half-blind vision. The sad smile on the old man’s face and the glossy eyes of the young boy had lingered in his mind a little too long than it should.

He wanted to laugh at himself, really, maybe even scoffed at himself and at the irony of his life choices because, while Sunggyu had only wished that the impromptu walk he'd taken would allow him some peace and calm over all these predicaments he'd ended up with, yet, all he’d gained instead were endless string of questions, and a mind even more muddled and confused than ever.

Unsurprisingly, it had taken Sunggyu a lot longer than usual to reach his college. He had taken a usual, different route as he made his way there, had made it a point to actively avoid going through _the_ intersection as per usual. He still didn't have enough trust in himself to make it through that junction without breaking down, without the memory of _it_ fleeting through his eyes and the scars all over his body stinging and numbing him in return.

So when Sunggyu had found himself back _there_ at that road, the one road he had come to hate, the one junction that took his _life_ away, he was confused— was even taken aback, because –

_How had he reached there?_

He could only stand there, body immobile and rigid right at the same spot where he had used to be _then_. He had to blink his eyes several time, had even internally questioned the reason he was there when he was supposed to be on the other, different road?

 _No_ , he wasn’t supposed to be there. He was confused. He thought he had remembered taking that turn just before. _Or did he?_ He just couldn’t think, head fuzzy and aching because it was all just so _, so_ confusing but Sunggyu needn’t really have to figure the answer out when all of the sudden, an all too familiar scene was somehow re-enacting in front of him once again.

And he knew then, came to realise that this was all just a _dream_ – an all too frightening dream that he had once had, a dream that he had prayed so hard not to haunt him ever again. But here he was— witnessing almost everything all over again.

_God, please, please, no._

He tried to take one step behind, had wanted to leave the _dream_ if that was even possible, but that was all he could do when the scene was unfurling right within his— he finally realised— his intact, _full_ vision. But he hadn’t been able to appreciate the realisation when the accident was actually happening in front of him.

It used to happen in a swift in his vision, then slower when it happened for real, and even slower when he had seen it all over again in that dream before this one – every details and every speck of blood ingrained in his memory as if the accident itself had happened to someone else and he was only there to be a spectator, a witness to his own fight of life and death.

And yet just _somehow_ , this time, it all but happened just a little too fast for him to grapple. He didn’t even see when _he,_ his other self, had rushed out unto the speeding road just to sacrifice his own world for a totally unknown stranger. He didn’t even realise that _he_ was already laid on the tarred road, blood draining out of him while Woohyun had scrambled and knelt by his side – crying, _sobbing_.

_Woohyun._

He felt his chest oddly tightened when he was once again reminded— of Woohyun, of his tears, of his bloodied hands, of the scar on his eye, of the loss of his gift, just of _everything._ _God_ , why was he seeing this again? Why was he reminded of everything again? Why couldn’t he just forget? Why wouldn’t anyone, or heck, why wouldn’t the _world_ just let him be so he can actually _try_ to move on? Why were they haunting him even in his dreams?

_Why still?_

He just wanted to run from that junction, just wanted to run away from everything, from his dreams, from his reality, but his legs were stiff, taking the deepest and strongest roots within the blood-stained road. He couldn’t go anywhere; let himself witnessing everything again when he had heard a voice calling his name – an _eerily_ familiar voice.

“Sunggyu,” that nasally voice had called. _God_ , it sounded just _so_ familiar, just so _fucking_ similar to his own voice, but he didn’t understand – _couldn’t_ understand because that was just impossible. How was that possible?

So he frowned, blinked his furrowed eyes and let them travel to the source of it, wanting nothing more than a proof that he wasn’t just mishearing it. Yet _nothing_ had ever prepared Kim Sunggyu for what he was going to see then.

Sunggyu felt an eerie shiver coursing through him as his owns eyes had met the pair of eyes that he was just so, very used to, staring back at him. The other _him_ , the battered and injured _him_ — _the him_ whom was still oozing blood but had been blatantly looking at him. But that was impossible. That was just a _dream_. Sunggyu’s other self couldn’t possibly see him, _himself_ , in his own dream. It was _his_ dream.

_Impossible._

“ _Sunggyu.”_ It called again. _He_ called again, his tone pressed lower, urgent. Sunggyu stared back, watching how the blood had run from the injured eye and then down the other’s cheek. Sunggyu had been watching _him_ when he had heard his name, could see that the voice hadn’t actually come from the other’s mouth.

Because those lips hadn’t moved— maybe slightly agape, but certainly hadn’t moved an inch to form any word at all. Only his bleeding eyes had lingered his way, he had noticed. Sunggyu was sure though, that it had sounded as though it had come from within his own head, as thought it had resonated there and only there in the small space of his mind, ringing in his ears. _But how? What—_

 

“ _Sunggyu!”_

It jolted Sunggyu’s eyes open, his body jerking abruptly at the sudden jar of wakefulness. He panted, chest heaving up and down from his ragged breathing, heart still harshly drumming against his ribcage when he had seen his friend, Sungyeol, looking at him with eyebrows pinched tightly in what Sunggyu perceived as apprehension.

Only after a while, did he realise that he was lying on a soft, comfy bed or – maybe he was laid there and he just didn’t remember – whiff of anti-septic taking over his sense as he came to understand of where he was. He fluttered his eyes open a few times, adjusting to the bright light as he tilted his head, had also tried to sit up from the bed too, but his head had throbbed so _very_ bad at the movement and it just hurt too much, like a hammer was pounding against his very own skull. Sunggyu had only merely groaned at the pain then, head wincing and eyes pinched tight.

“Gyu, don’t move just yet.” He’d heard a voice that obviously hadn’t belong to Sungyeol.

“ _Woohyun_?” He turned his head to the side, looking the voice’s way, and it proved to be a stupid mistake when his head had miserably pounded again, had almost let out a growl at the sudden, shooting pain.

Once the pain finally begun fading, he’d managed to focus where he’d intended, and then almost immediately, there was a pleasant flutter in his chest when he’d seen Woohyun right there, his brows meeting in a tight pinch, worries written all over his face as he had hunched over, _closer_ by the bed—obviously inspecting him.

With a still pounding head and a comforting, helping hand on his back, Sunggyu slowly propped himself up as he groaned and rubbed his temple.

“What exactly happened?” He’d managed to croak out despite his headache, and only then realising the harsh, hoarse sound of his own voice, a hand almost immediately shot to rub at his throat.

“You fainted,” He’d heard Sungyeol's vague explaination. The elder male had wanted to say something back, but his throat was stinging and itchy and the feeling just wouldn’t go away even when he’d tried swallowing down. So when a hand with a glass of water had suddenly appeared within his limited field of vision, Sunggyu was just _so_ grateful. He didn’t even need to look up to know whom the hand had belonged to.

 _“Thanks, Woohyun,”_ he had mumbled softly instead, taking the offered glass before gulping the water down hastily.

“No wonder my head and my throat hurt like hell,” he had replied, wiping off the trickles of water down his chin as he felt the cold drink soothing the stinging pain in his throat. He took a moment before he finally looked back and smiled, was handing the empty glass back to Woohyun when he’d seen an odd look adorning the said male’s face, and then the same look on Sungyeol’s— a frown already showing and a tight knot forming at the bottom of his stomach then.

“What?” He’d asked with that frown, the rate of his heart picking up alarmingly fast.

“Gyu,” Sungyeol begun just before he’d let out a heavy sigh, was earning the said male’s attention.

“What? What _else_ happened?” Sunggyu had pressed, but it hadn’t taken long before the frown on his face morphed into wide, frightened eyes when he had vaguely recalled _that_ dream _._

“Wait, I, I didn’t say anything weird when I was sleeping, right?” He’d asked, looking back and forth between his best friend and Woohyun when the latter had only pressed his lips flat, mouth sealed.

“ _Right_?” He’d pressed on, just wanted nothing but a nod out of confirmation, just _anything_ to calm him down.

“Gyu,” Sungyeol had begun again when he realised that Woohyun was still tight-lipped, “you were screaming in your dream just now.” His best friend had carefully briefed in a concerned, austere voice.

“What?“ The elder male grimaced.

“You thrashed in your sleep, hyung. We were worried.” It was Woohyun whom had supplied then, eyebrows still furrowed close as he squeezes on Sunggyu’s thigh firmly. But the latter wouldn’t have it. No, he just wouldn’t because that would mean _— Oh my dear lord_ , _he just couldn’t believe it._

 _Please, oh please_ , tell him that he did not just have a fucking fit in his sleep in front of his friends.

Because that would only mean that so many questions would be fired at him and he just—Sunggyu just didn’t have the answers to any of them.

“That’s – _no,_ that’s stupid. I – I didn’t, I wasn’t,” Sunggyu had shaken his head, prayed that they would but it but really, what was he thinking?

“ _God_ , Sunggyu. Just fucking don’t! You don’t know how much we had freaked out, okay?! One moment I was walking to college alone, then suddenly I saw you across that intersection and then you just fainted! I had to call Woohyun to help me bring you here! The infirmary nurse told us that you’d be fine mostly but then another moment, you just suddenly started thrashing and screaming in the bed, Gyu! And that was _fuckin’_ scary so don’t you dare say you didn’t do any of them because we fucking _saw_.” Sungyeol had almost hissed out, his voice barely restrained to a lower tone as he had tried to hold back, probably failing when he’d noticed Sunggyu flinching at his raised voice.

But while Sungyeol was already almost fuming at the elder male, Woohyun though, had only faintly nodded his head then, a forced smile barely there and his tense feature only telling him of his supressed apprehension. The younger might have tried to hide them or mask them, but Sunggyu knew, could still feel the warm hand on his thigh oddly straining.

“We tried waking you up, hyung, but you just, you probably just couldn’t hear us.” The younger male continued. Sunggyu knew he wouldn’t be able to lie through; he had after all, known Sungyeol almost all his life; had also come to admit that he was almost like an open, visible book asking to be read whenever he’s around Woohyun. So he let himself relent, if not only slightly.

“I – uh, what did I say?” His voice was timid as he asked, eyes barely meeting any of them. It was then when he’d felt warm presence by his side; realised that Woohyun had inched even closer then, barely sitting on the edge of the bed as he took Sunggyu’s hand into his own. The latter couldn’t seem to deny that he liked the heat and the soft skin over his own.

“Hyung,” Woohyun had gently called. “Please, would you just tell us what’s going on with you?” He said, squeezing his hand a tad bit. Sunggyu knew what he had meant by the question, but he couldn’t tell him, didn’t want to tell them just yet so all he responded with was a bite of his lower lips and an averted gaze. But Woohyun wasn’t deterred when he’d only pressed further.

“Does that happen often?” He asked, trying to lock gazes with the elder and Sunggyu finally let them when he’d quietly sighed and replied–

“ _What_ happen often, Woohyun?” He shot back, avoiding.

“Hyung, why were you thrashing in your sleep? What happened in your dream?” He’d questioned back instead, not playing to Sunggyu’s game.

“I – I don’t know, Woohyun, I just don’t–” He’d stuttered, wasn’t able to conjure up any excuses amidst the firing questions. But the other male hadn’t even bothered to wait for any answer when he’d interrupted.

“Who’s leaving you?” The question startled him.

“I—What?” He’d frowned only because he had never dreamt of anyone leaving him so, “ _No,_ no one is leaving anyone, Woohyun. God, why are you asking me that? I— I don’t get it, just, just tell me what happened when I was sleeping, Woohyun.”

“You were screaming a lot, Gyu. You basically kept yelling for someone not to go while you—you thrashed out in the bed, sweating, and screaming. We just didn’t know what to do. We kept calling your name so many times but you wouldn’t—”

“ _Wait_ , I – I did what?” He said, hand held up. They probably hadn’t noticed Sunggyu’s confused look when Woohyun had only continued then.

“Hyung, please, you – you’ve been strange lately. We’re worried. You need to tell us what’s going on so we can at least, I don’t know, _try_ to help,” he’d almost sounded desperate then, desperate to get Sunggyu opening up, desperate to know what’s been bothering their friend.

“There’s, there’s nothing going on, okay? Nothing is going on so you guys don’t have to worry. I’ll be okay, I’m okay.”

“But you _don’t_ seem okay, hyung,” Woohyun frowned, not even a tad bit mollified with the elder’s answer. And Sungyeol, he just wasn’t a very patient man, so while Woohyun had been using gentle words and gentle tone on the elder, he’d much preferred the exact opposite of them.

“Gyu, just _fucking_ tell us,” His best friend had growled lowly, but Sunggyu’s head had hurt so freaking bad, and he was just as confused as his friends too, so when Sungyeol had snapped at him, he couldn’t help but do an equal snapping at the other too.

“But there’s nothing to tell, Sungyeol!” He’d barked back, glaring at said best friend.

“But it doesn’t look like there’s nothing, Sunggyu! So just fucking tell us already!” The lanky male hissed, tugging at his hair roots desperately because he’s just so, _so_ worried.

“And I already told you, Sungyeol! I don’t have anything to tell! Why can’t you just believe that?!”

“Fucking bullshit!”

“Fuck! I don’t know what you want to find out from me, Sungyeol, but even if there _is_ , it’s _not_ something that you guys can help with, okay?!”

“Well, you haven’t tried us!” His friend had briefly challenged.

“But there’s _nothing_ to try, Yeol! _God_ , just fucking leave me alone!” Sunggyu screamed, groaning when he’d felt his headache worsening with every loud yell he’d let out.

“We’re just trying to _help_ , Gyu,” Sungyeol had sounded resigned then, the tone of his voice pitching down as he let out a weary breathe. But the elder was still in the heat of their argument, hadn’t come down from his frustration and anger when he’d slipped out a grave, _grave_ mistake.

“Oh then, why don’t you just fucking help yourself with your stupid argument with Myungsoo then?! For fuck’s sake, your stupid, useless quarrel is starting to—”

“ _Hyung!”_ It was Woohyun’s voice that had interrupted him then. And Sunggyu could almost feel as though the moment had stopped for a little while when he’d seen the scowl on Woohyun’s face, had only fully come to realise what he had said then.

 _Fuck!_ He had only needed one brief look at his best friend to know how bad he had fucked up this time. _Oh Dear Lord, just what had he done?_

“No, Yeol, I – that’s not what I –“

“Okay, Gyu, I get it. Sorry, I was being annoying. Right. I know. I—“ Sungyeol took one step backward, leaving enough space between them so Sunggyu’s flailing hand wouldn’t be able to reach him.

“No! Yeol, I wasn’t – That wasn’t – there’re just too many things going on and I—“

“Sorry, Gyu, I don’t, I don’t really feel good right now,” He’d taken another step back as he shook his head, had turned his head to their other friend whom had only gone quiet, hadn’t known what to do or say in this situation.

“Uh, Woohyun, please send him home safely. I just need to, uh,” Sungyeol briefly looked at the door before he’d turned back, avoiding eye contact with his best friend as he’d muttered a quiet _I’m sorry_ and left almost immediately.

It had taken a lot of courage and effort for Woohyun to cut through the deafening silence that had settled in the room after Sungyeol had left, had quietly stood up from the bed and tugged on the elder’s arm—startling the elder from his own reverie.

“Hyung, can you stand up? I think we should head out. It’s getting dark outside,”

 

The walk home afterwards was only expected to be cloaked in another heavy silence, Woohyun naturally taking his spot by his side then— but it hadn’t been too close as what Sunggyu had subconsciously yearned for, yet not too far that the elder couldn’t feel the radiating warmth of the other.

It was as if the younger of the two was trying to give him something – space? Time? Quiet? He didn’t know. But he didn’t want that. Sunggyu didn’t know how to say this, how to tell the other, how to even be subtle about it, but he needed something _else_. He didn’t want the space, didn’t want the quiet and didn’t want the time – because those would only drown him in his own agony, his own guilt. He had wanted warmth, wanted nothing more but engulfed in something else rather than this cold, stabbing emotion that he had been wrapping himself with.

He wanted to _forget_ – even if it’s only for a while moment.

He’d felt as if his legs were so damn heavy as he let them follow Woohyun’s steps, the small space between them almost like a long, _long_ bridge that he needed to cross just to get closer to the other. He’d bit on his bottom lips in a habit of anxiety then, a touch of frown was already stretching on his miserable look as he tried to fight whatever force that were holding him back from doing just that.

But then, suddenly, it was as if there had been a magnetic pull when Sunggyu had lifted his head in a fit of unfounded and sudden courage, had brought his hand up to stop Woohyun just from walking further, to just tumble his own weight into the other’s embrace when he realised—

It was the fucking intersection again.

It had almost felt like he was in that dream all over again, yet this time, he knew it was _real_. It had been as real as it could get when he’d seen that damned traffic light blinking _red_ again.

He would’ve cursed at the world, at the fate, or at whatever destiny had in store for him, or for the both of them if he hadn’t been too frightened at the thought of _it_ happening again.

“Woohyun!” He had shouted, his hand had immediately shot up to grab unto the said male’s arm, and had tugged him back from stepping into his own death. He finally let out a heavy breath when he saw a car sped by, couldn’t help the relief flooding through him when he knew that they were safe for now— his fast reaction had saved both of them from having another bloodied road and another world-shattering experience.

Woohyun though, had only looked back at him startled, the furrowed eyebrows and the confused look on said face had only told him that he hadn’t exactly understood what was going on just yet. _And goddamn,_ it was just so, so infuriating to see how clueless the younger was when a speeding car could’ve rammed him just a moment ago.

“ _Yah_!” Sunggyu had yelled then, his fingers harshly squeezing unto the other’s arm, body trembling yet he wasn’t sure if it had been because of the sudden rush of adrenaline, or _had it been fear?_ But if so, what was he scared of? Was it the thought that he could’ve experience it again? Or was it the thought of witnessing it instead? Or was it the thought that he could’ve lost something else then?

 

It was daunting how much his heart had thumped against his chest, almost ripping itself out of its rightful space as he tightened his clasp on the arm before harshly shoving it away, angered.

“The light was _red_ , Woohyun! Watch out for the goddamn traffic light!” He had scolded, his face flushed an angry red as he scowled at the dawning look on Woohyun’s face.

“ _Fuck!_ Gyu, I’m—“

“Oh, _fuck you_ , Nam Woohyun!” Sunggyu had barked out and stomped his way across the road the moment the traffic had lighted green _._ He didn’t care if the bystanders were watching, couldn’t fucking care the loud calls of his name that were chasing him from behind. He just wanted to get away from that intersection, to just get home because— _God,_ it was so uncannily similar as it was the last time, and it just terrified Sunggyu so _very_ bad.

 _Too_ terrified.

“Gyu, I’m sorry. I’m so, so, _so_ sorry,” Woohyun had rushed from behind, apologies streaming out of his mouth when Sunggyu had blatantly ignored him, had tried to keep up when the elder had only hastened his pace just to get away from this man. But Sunggyu wasn’t listening. He had heard the apologies, but the fume in his chest was still burning up and he just couldn’t seem to calm down.

“ _Sunggyu_ ,” Woohyun had ran a little, had abruptly halted in front of the other before he gripped unto Sunggyu’s shoulders, squeezing them firmly as they came to a stop. And Sunggyu couldn’t help but glare back at those pair of eyes that were looking into his own.

“Gyu, listen. I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t know how that happened but I’m just _so_ , so sorry,” he had emphasised on his apology, had tightened the grip on his shoulders, as if he was conveying just how _bad_ he had felt.

“You almost did that again, Woohyun!” The elder male had hissed, had struggled to move out of those hands but the grips were steel strong, and Sunggyu was still trembling, still _too_ shaken, still _too_ weak to fight against the pressure on his shoulders.

“I know, and I’m _seriously_ sorry, hyung. I – I didn’t mean to –“

Sunggyu frowned at that.

“You didn’t mean to?” He’d scoffed. “You’re ridiculous.” He breathed out a heavy sigh— it was so obvious how affected Sunggyu was, how exhausted he’d felt in the way he had sighed and had shaken his head almost wearily.

“Now just let me go, Woohyun,” He’d tried to shake the hands off again but the younger had only shaken his head determinedly.

“No, not until you forgive me,” told the other, resolute. Yet, it had Sunggyu furrowing his look again, scoffing and scowling as he once again tried wrestling out of his hold.

“Why the hell would you even need my forgiveness? You can do whatever the hell you want! You can just go and fucking get yourself killed in an accident if you want. But just, just don’t let me _fuckin’_ involved again! Just don’t _fuckin’_ do it in front of _me_!” He had half-yelled, was too furious and too angered to mind any unwarranted looks from the passers-by, his face flushed in an angry red.

There were hints of tears glossing his eyes then, but he wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t that weak. He had gone through worse, and this was _nothing_ compared to what he’d been through. _Nothing._

Sunggyu harshly peeled the hands off of his shoulders when his struggle had proved futile, had shoved those hands away from him, had only wanted to leave and just cocoon himself within his own blankets – to calm down, to chase away the sudden rush of anxiety, the _fear_.

He had only wanted to hide, to isolate himself, but Woohyun wasn’t letting him. He just wouldn’t. Why was he so stubborn? Who cares about forgiveness? He just wanted to stay away from the epiphany of Nam Woohyun. Troubles always seemed to haunt him whenever Nam Woohyun was involved, and Sunggyu was just too, _too_ tired.

“ _Gyu, please_ ,”

 _“_ Leave me alone, Woohyun. Just, _leave,”_ Sunggyu just shot him a tired, worn-out look, sighed, and brushed past the other.

But it hadn’t even been past two steps when he had felt a strong tug on his wrist, hadn’t even passed a few seconds when he realised he was being pulled again, was turned on his feet albeit without his consent, strong arms amiably enfolding around him.

“ _Let me go_ , Woohyun,” Sunggyu warned once more— had almost choked on his own words when he was suddenly wrapped in the warmth he’d wanted to have since earlier.

He tried to push the body away, the heels of his palms pushing against the sturdy figure but the struggle was almost like a trigger. With every effort Sunggyu had conjured up to release himself, it had only tightened the hold around him. _No,_ he didn’t want that. He had wanted the warmth _then,_ but now? _No,_ he had only wanted to get away from him.

It was suffocating to be around him, _not right now_.

“Please, just let me go,” Sunggyu had almost whimpered, was still struggling albeit weaker then. He then felt one of Woohyun’s arms lifted off of his body, had thought that maybe he was _finally_ letting him go, but it was just so stupid of him to even think that way. Woohyun didn’t lift his hand away to release him – had only done so to push Sunggyu’s head into the crook of his neck and shoulder, to let it rest and nuzzled there before the same hand was already stroking his hair in soft, gentle caresses.

“I’m sorry, Gyu. I’m just so so _damn_ sorry,” he had softly whispered. Sunggyu wanted to wrestle more, had still wanted to leave, but the arms around him were so warm, then the soft, ghostly kisses over the crown of his head were just so pacifying that it had Sunggyu felt something was suddenly lifted off of his chest. Something heavy that had been weighing him down, something heavy that had been nesting in there for as long as he could remember.

And as soon as that _something_ was lifted off, Kim Sunggyu _cried_ , had unmistakably let out a strangled, choked sob.

“I’m just so _sorry_ ,” Woohyun had whispered once again, had peppered even more soft kisses on the top of his head while the other just whimpered in response, nuzzling further into the crook of his neck, fingers clutching desperately unto the fabric over Woohyun’s chest.

 

It wasn’t exactly a surprise when it had taken a lot longer than expected for Sunggyu to lull out of his breakdown. It had, after all, been a while since he had let the dam of his tears broken. Maybe, it was the strange dream, or the desistance of that music store, or the stupid mistake he’d done to his best friend, or the _almost_ accident, or maybe, it had been everything all along that had accumulated – boiled by the sudden fear and anger, that he had _finally_ exploded.

It shouldn’t really be a surprise, yet, it was still pretty astounding when Sunggyu had cried, sobbed, wailed and whimpered, all at once in the middle of the street where people were bustling through. And if they hadn’t mind the weird looks the passers-by had thrown them just a while ago, they definitely did _now_ when Sunggyu had finally quietened, the pointed whispers finally seeping through their ears.

 _God, how embarrassing,_ the elder had thought, hadn’t make any effort to remove himself from the younger, too embarrassed to show his snot-laden face to both the onlookers and _Woohyun_.

“Gyu, I think, we should probably leave now,” he’d heard the other’s voice so very close to his ears. Sunggyu just shook his head, grazing over Woohyun’s shoulder as he refused to do just that.

“No.” His voice was muffled over the fabric. Woohyun had only chuckled when he’d heard and felt the reluctance dripping from both his voice and his body.

“No one is looking, Gyu, so,” the younger had supplied, an amused grin quirking up as he pulled away—tried, before he actually had to peel the elder’s body off of his own when Sunggyu had clutched unto his shirt stronger.

There was a small pout on Sunggyu’s lips then, his puffy eyes averted down as shade of pink had dusted over his cheeks. Woohyun had even dared to chuckle as he watched the elder, then cupped Sunggyu’s face in his hands, before he actually used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the traces of tears and snots off of his face.

“Oh shut up,” Sunggyu pouted even more as he smashed his palm against Woohyun’s mouth, but the force he had used had only told the younger that it hadn’t meant to be harsh. The younger only laughed louder in turn, interlaced their fingers together gently before he finally led Sunggyu home. The latter just quietly complied, still a little dazed out of disbelief that he had actually _cried_ in the middle of the street.

 

 

 

“You live here all alone?” was the first question that went out of his mouth once Sunggyu had stepped into Woohyun’s house, eyes roaming and taking in the interior of the huge space. It wasn’t exactly anyone’s plan to have Sunggyu to stay over his place. It was only when they had perched in front of the elder’s house silently, waiting for the rigid said male to finally walk into his house, did they irrevocably decided that it’d be better that he’d stayed over.

But the decision hadn’t been on Woohyun though— well, it would be better off to say that the latter was even caught off guard when Sunggyu had been the one who had voiced the idea initially. Woohyun probably didn’t really mind the intrusion, but he was still surprised, had only able to whisper _“Yeah, yeah, sure. Let’s go,”_ because he’d been a little too breathless when he’d seen Sunggyu’s timid glances and reddened face.

 

The door had already beeped closed when they were toeing off their shoes, the younger male leading the other inside and eventually to Woohyun’s own room.

“Uh-huh, only me and me alone,” He’d responded afterwards, had grinned lopsidedly as he’d snuck a glance back at the trailing male.

“In this _humongous_ house?” Sunggyu asked with hung jaws and an amazed look. Woohyun had to chuckle when he’d seen that rare astounded look on the elder’s face.

“It’s not that big, hyung,” he’d replied with a humble shake of head and Sunggyu had suddenly found a strong urge to roll his eyes at the other because, _seriously_?

“Woohyun, if this isn’t big, then what of my house? A pea-sized?” Sunggyu had jeered in a fake mock, only glaring albeit playfully at the said male while the other had only barked out a more than amused laugh.

“Oh, come on, hyung! Don’t exaggerate. It only feels big because it’s only me here. You won’t find it big anymore once you see my whole family here, rampaging around,” he had shaken his head again as he finally swung the door to his room open and motioned the elder inside.

He had to wait a few seconds before he realised that Sunggyu wasn’t following him, so the younger male had turned around and flicked his eyebrows upward questioningly when he saw said male had halted right beneath the door frame.

“What?” He’d asked curiously. Sunggyu then did that lip biting again as he finally trudged into the room, and faced him.

“Yeah, about that, umm, I didn’t really see them or other shoes around, so, uh, where are they anyway?” Sunggyu had tried, shifting a little nervously because he was afraid that he might have touched a sensitive topic. But he was curious, and thinking back, he just couldn’t think of any time that they had ever talked about Woohyun’s life. It’s always been about _him,_ and _god­_ , now he felt kind of awful too.

“Well,” Woohyun starts after a brief silence, “they’re back in the States, actually. I just came back here alone. I mean, they all have their lives already settled there, family and all that so,” he had answered, had quietly handed the elder a set of fresh clothes for him to change into along the way.

Sunggyu had only frowned then, had received the clothes hesitantly while the question ‘ _then what about yours?’_ hanging at the tip of his tongue.

He was just about to voice it out when he noticed there was a hint of resigned tone behind those words, was only able to notice it when he’d seen the blank expression on his face, silence impregnating the air as he watched the way Woohyun was staring through a well-framed photo on the nightstand just by his bed – an odd, undecipherable eventually look taking over his feature.

Sunggyu hadn’t seen what the photo had looked like, it was a little too far for his eyes to make out anything other than just a mixture of colours.

 _Sure_ , the elder male was curious, had wanted to find out, but he wasn’t going to peer over it; the tense vibe Woohyun was giving out had only successfully keeping him a few meters away and let the silence just grew thicker in favour of giving the younger some time and space.

Yet, fortunately, or maybe a little _unfortunately_ in Sunggyu’s point of view, his stomach had all of a sudden, decided by itself to lend a very helping hand in breaking the tense air that had suddenly taken over them.

His stomach had just oh so kindly offered a loud, _loud_ noise that sounded just a lot like _growling_. _Oh lord,_ how embarrassing.

Woohyun had almost instantly snapped his head towards the elder and had only blinked his eyes amused at him. Sunggyu would’ve fought the blush under his skin if he could, but who was he to deny his bodily function?

And so, with a faint dust of red colouring the apples of his cheeks, Sunggyu just bit his bottom lips and had managed a small, awkward grin in Woohyun’s way.

“Uh, dinner?” He had suggested sheepishly, Woohyun’s loud cackle had only worsened his blush while he’d just pouted his lips afterwards.

“Sure, hyung. Dinner it is then,” Woohyun had agreed, had wholeheartedly chortled again as he tapped a finger gingerly on the tip of Sunggyu’s nose, the latter only retorted with a swat of his hand and his still remaining pout. Woohyun walked back to the door of his room, a hand on the knob as he turned back to look at the other.

“Just freshen up first and come down to the kitchen, okay? I’ll see what I can come up from whatever’s left in the fridge,” he added afterwards.

“You’re going to cook?” Sunggyu had asked, an impressed yet still suspicious look adorning his look then.

“A single and handsome gentleman has to know everything, hyung. Definitely a great husband material you wouldn’t want to miss here,” Woohyun had bragged with a playful wink, smirking. Sunggyu had only jutted his tongue out and rolled his eyes at the other as he headed for the bathroom, turning around just by the door to retort—

“Then why are you still single if you’re such a _great_ husband material?” Sunggyu cluck his tongue, a playful grin lacing his thin lips then, “I definitely can smell the ugly truth of fabrication here.”

“Well, I happen to be a sap for romantic things, hyung. I’m waiting for _the One_.” He’d countered with another wink on his way and Sunggyu had laughed at that, peering over as he teased—

“What a virgin,” He’d laughed a little more when Woohyun had joined the laughter parade and chortled loudly at the elder’s teasing. It was only after they’d come down from it did Woohyun finally say,

“Okay, hyung. Go shower, I can already smell your snots from here,” He’d pointedly scrunched his nose as he waved a hand just over it.

“Yah! My snots don’t smell, okay!” Sunggyu shouted back, then glaring at the other although no harm’s really done with the way his lips was fighting against curling up a smile.

“Okay, okay, now shoo. Shower.” The younger flicked his wrist, still with that mischievous look.

“Fine, I’m showering. Now go away and make some _edible_ food for me,” said the other as he quoted his word in the air.

“I’ll be making the greatest food for you, hyung and you’re going to ask for more in no time, trust me.” He’d said, smirking. Sunggyu had only laughed then, shaking his head as he made a gesture to shoo him away. But before either of them could actually shut their doors close, Woohyun had swiftly peered his head over once again and called out.

“Oh, and Gyu?” He was grinning then, a little mischievous and a little too handsome too that Sunggyu didn’t even want to deny anymore.

“What now?” The said male had only feigned disinterest though.

“Do you want to know something?” He’d asked with _that_ grin. “No,” Sunggyu had spite back playfully, but Woohyun didn’t even care when he’d just continued.

“Did you know that _the One_ I’m waiting for also happens to be a virgin? And they even have virgin lips! Oh, and I especially like those very little eyes they have, you know? They’re just so adorable, don’t you think?” Woohyun had said with the greasiest grin he’d ever conjured up, sending a wink over while the stretch of his lips only widening when he’d managed to see the way Sunggyu’s skin had heated up in a blushing mess.

“ _Yah!_ ” The elder had squeaked embarrassed, pleasant knots forming and filling his stomach at the sweet melody of Woohyun’s laughter before he had heard the click of a door. That was probably the sound of his dinner in the making then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey there! Here's the promised update! I'm sorry it took so long, but I wasn't satisfied with how it turned out (still not satisfied tho), but here I am, still posting it because I'm deprived of your love! I apologise too if you found some mistakes here and there, i'm running out of time actually because my sister's wedding is so damn close now.
> 
> And oh, btw, the story is most probably ending in another five chapters so look forward for the answers to all our mysteries! And I've also read your theories, some are close, but not close enough, I guess. hehehe but I still love them anyway! 
> 
> Do drop some comments or kudos! They motivate me to write! (It's my writer's inspiration)


	11. Another loop of fate

So when Woohyun had told him that he was a great cook, blessed with amazing skills and magical hands, Sunggyu had thought that he was only bragging, exaggerating. But the moment he had taken a bite of his cooking, had chewed, swallowed and savoured the lingering taste left on his tongue, Sunggyu thought that maybe, he wasn’t that good of a judge after all.

Woohyun was an amazing cook, if he were to be honest, but _no_ , he wouldn’t be Sunggyu if he let the praise get to the younger’s head, so all he said after he had cleaned the plate _thrice_ was—

“Thanks for the food, Woohyun. You’re a good cook, not great, but just _good_ ,”

Woohyun had laughed at that, hadn’t taken the words to his heart because he _knew_ what Sunggyu had actually meant.

“Yeah, Gyu,” he’d snorted, “Please do tell me that _before_ you actually wiped the food clean from the plates. But, you’re still welcomed anyway,” he’d teased back, a supressed grin turning up the corners of his lips.

“Well, be grateful that I actually helped you finished everything up, okay? Otherwise it would’ve just gone to waste,” he retorted.

“I could’ve kept them in my fridge and maybe heat them up tomorrow for breakfast?” The other goaded.

“That – wasn’t wrong, but wasn’t right either. You could’ve just finish them here and now and then, cook something else for tomorrow. Isn’t it healthier that way?” He had blinked, tried to feign innocence, but whom was he kidding?

“Gyu, I don’t think you’re making any sense right now,” he huffed out a breathy laugh and shook his head, amused. “Alright, here. Take this and wait for me in the living room? We can catch a movie there.” He had told the other as he slid a mug of freshly brewed tea his way. Sunggyu had only looked up then, a silent enquiry of what _about you_ were sent the younger’s way when he had raised both his eyebrows at him. Woohyun had just tenderly smiled at him and nodded in response.

“I’ll be there in a second, hyung. Just need to do the dishes first,” he said.

“I can help? If you want?” Sunggyu had suggested, didn’t exactly want to be left alone to dwell with his stupid thoughts, but Woohyun, unbeknownst to Sunggyu’s inner turmoil had only carelessly dismissed the latter’s offer for help and said,

“Nope. Not a chance, hyung. I’d much prefer you stay in the living room and pick a movie for us.” He told him with a careless laugh, a laugh that had almost sounded like a mere mock in the elder’s ears.

It was stupid, Sunggyu knew that. He knew Woohyun probably hadn’t meant to make it hurt as bad as it did but it stung a lot nonetheless. It still broke his heart a little to guess the possible reason behind that refusal because he knew he was useless.

“Okay, yeah. That was a stupid offer. Sorry. I can barely see half of everything, wouldn’t want to destroy anything in here, right? Sorry. Uh, I’ll just take this,” Sunggyu had awkwardly took the mug into his hands, almost hissed out loud when his cold skin had connected to the hot surface of the ceramic before deftly continued. “And I’ll just wait for you in the living room, quietly.” He finished, avoided the other’s eyes as he swiftly made his way over to the living room, leaving a more than perplexed Woohyun behind.

“Wait, hyung, that wasn’t –“ He began, almost instantly ignored the dishes in the sink as he wiped his wet hands unto a wet towel and tailed the other from behind, following suit as he took his seat beside Sunggyu on the couch.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I meant when I—“

“It’s fine, Woohyun,” Sunggyu had interrupted however, shaking his head as he placed the hot mug unto the side table. “No, it’s okay. I get it, Woohyun. Go do the dishes, or whatever. I’ll keep quiet in here,” he spoke, the tone of his voice obviously laden with hurt as he pretended to skip through the Movie folders on the television screen using the remote control.

“Oh god, hyung! That’s not what I meant, seriously. I didn’t think you’d take it that way. I’m sorry, hyung. I seriously am,” Woohyun had tried again. He sounded desperate enough to correct Sunggyu, but the elder didn’t have the mood to listen so he tried dismissing the whole situation all over.

“It’s really fine, Woohyun. I understand, so just go.” He told the other, finality in his voice as he shooed the other off but Woohyun was adamant about proving him wrong, so he had promptly grabbed the remote from the other and put it away, wanted Sunggyu to pay attention to him.

“You don’t understand, hyung. You wouldn’t understand because I haven’t told you anything yet and you just, you just—,” The younger wanted to explain, probably tried to, but strangely, words just didn’t come easy for him then and Sunggyu failed to understand what he had wanted to convey, probably had even misunderstood the frustration that leaked just from the tone of the younger’s voice alone.

“I just assume a lot of things, right? Yeah, I know. I’m sorry that I suck in all this not knowing shit. I’m not _used_ to it, okay?” Sunggyu’s voice had quavered a little, was probably bordering on shedding some tears even at this point and _God_ , why was he so sensitive today?

“ _Shit,”_ He had heard the younger cursed. “No, hyung. That came out _very_ wrongly. God, how should I even say this?” Woohyun almost bellowed then, had taken a deep breath in and slowly exhaled it back out just as he cradled Sunggyu’s face into the cup of his hands and forced an eye contact.

“I didn’t want your help not because I thought you might destroy things, hyung. I don’t care if you break anything or everything. That doesn’t matter. But I just don’t want you injuring yourself. I mean, after that stunt I pulled just a while ago, I just thought, that, I don’t know, it might be bad for you, I don’t want to see you hurt, or I just, I – okay, I’m not making too much sense either, am I?” Woohyun sighed heavily, his hands falling uncertainly to his side when he wasn’t able to properly explain. Sunggyu just took a longer look at Woohyun’s remorseful feature, bottom lip caught between his two rows of teeth before he eventually allowed himself to curl a small, weak smile at the other.

“Okay, okay, I get it, Woohyun. Thank you, but that was totally unnecessary.” Sunggyu replied. “I’m not _that_ weak, am I?” He asked back, a brow smugly rose as if to challenge.

“Honestly?” Woohyun started, had probably wanted to tease the elder a little, had only wanted to chase all this heaviness between them away even if only slightly, but the moment he had seen Sunggyu snapped his head at him and narrowed his foxy little eyes in a particular challenging glare, Woohyun knew when he should and shouldn’t be crossing a line.

“Ok, nope, not at all. You’re totally not weak, hyung. You’re actually the strongest of ‘em all. Dwayne Johnson who again?” Woohyun pressed his lips into a thin line as he purposely gripped onto the elder’s biceps just for good pretend measure.

“Yeah, I thought _so_ too,” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow smugly once again and snorted before he actually, honestly smiled a little more.

“But okay, since we’re already on the topic of that _stunt_ you pulled this evening anyway, so we might as well talk about that now,” He began after a while, saw the way Woohyun’s eyes flickered briefly at the mention of that but he just ignored it anyway. He needed some answers now.

“So, Woohyun, why do you always seem to do that?”

“Hm? Do what?” Woohyun question back, confused.

“You know you did that too last time when I had that accident. Didn’t you see the traffic light? Or do you always have that suicidal tendency? Do I need to be worried?” Sunggyu asked albeit lightly, hadn’t wanted to make this conversation any heavier than it already was.

“No, no, I’m not – it’s not that. I’m, I’m just careless. I didn’t see that one coming,” Woohyun had looked flustered as he answered, eyes slightly evading Sunggyu’s searching ones and he knew the younger wasn’t lying, but he also knew it wasn’t the complete truth either. But he could let that go for now.

“ _God_ , your carelessness will be the death of someone, you know.” The smaller male had joked. “And you already almost caused mine twice,” Sunggyu tried to lighten the atmosphere, had even followed that up with a genuine chuckle just so Woohyun would feel less burdened and less nervous about it. But when he’d briefed a look at the younger, he knew he had messed things up the moment he had even brought up the word _death._

“Okay, sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. _Shit_ , sorry. Don’t look like that. That accident was already over way long time ago and you already apologised like gazillion times for that stunt today. So it’s fine. We’ll get over it. _I’ll_ get over it.” Sunggyu immediately scrambled to fix that look. He didn’t want to see that look on the other male’s face at all, didn’t like to see a sad, guilt-ridden Woohyun. But the latter had only shaken his head then, smiling weakly as if he had wanted to explain, wanted to try at least but the words, the words just wouldn’t flow.

“Gyu, that accident, it was, it’s just, it wasn’t supposed to—” Woohyun had struggled and Sunggyu understood that struggle all too well. So he hadn’t forced them out, but just barely helped as he gave him an outlet.

“Which accident?” He had enquired in a voice so low and so yielding. Kim Sunggyu probably already guessed which one the other had meant; but he had still asked, just thought that it’d be easier for the other to talk if he had.

Sunggyu watched how Woohyun had then gnawed on his bottom lip a little too harsh just as he brought up his hand and ghosted a finger gently, hovering just over Sunggyu’s scar on his left eye. He wasn’t pleased when he saw how hard the other was biting on his own lips, hard enough to drain blood probably but he hadn’t actually commented on that, had only let the finger grazed at the scar tenderly before he gave the other a curt nod to continue.

“I didn’t see you that time,” Woohyun had started; voice almost a whisper while his sight had remained on the jagged scar. “I didn’t actually think you’d be there, Gyu, what more to save me. God, I was so stupid that day. I had almost literally _killed_ _you_.” He had relayed with a heavy glower on his look and Sunggyu’s face had immediately morphed into his own deep frown when he digested the words.

“Hey, of course you wouldn’t know I’d be there to save you. I did it out of instinct. In fact, I didn’t even know it myself until it happened. I was already running to you before I realised it so why would you even blame yourself for not knowing what would’ve happened?”

“But I–“ Woohyun hesitated, had seemed like he wanted to say something more, and Sunggyu knew there was more behind that, but Woohyun had stopped himself, hadn’t allowed himself to say more other than—

“It shouldn’t have happened that way.” He said. _And that’s okay for now_ , Sunggyu had thought. _He’ll tell me when he wanted to_ , he told himself just as he opened his mouth to tell the other—

“That’s what we call destiny, Woohyun. No one knows what will happen until it’s happened. I may have the Eyes before that, but I don’t think I would’ve done any differently even if I could turn back the time now.” He said, eyeing Woohyun carefully but the latter had just shaken his head then, even sighed a little as he gazed back, his eyes intense.

“No, hyung, you don’t understand. You wouldn’t know what I would’ve felt if you had really _died_ , hyung. God, you wouldn’t know,” Woohyun had sounded so utterly despaired just as he wiped down on his face, his hand trembling a little as he did so and Sunggyu just desperately wanted to understand him, wanted to know why would the possibility of his death break him so much but he hadn’t known how to do that, didn’t know how to break Woohyun open and delve into his feelings. So the only thing he could do was the complete opposite. He talked instead.

“Okay, so you might have felt guilty about it, maybe, but you’ll live, Woohyun. A passing away of someone you barely know will just be another memory once enough time flies. You’ll be just fine, I’m sure,” Sunggyu tried, had wanted to convince the other of that but if he thought Woohyun would agree with his words willingly at first, then he was excruciatingly wrong because Woohyun had only exhaled so loudly and so heavily at him as he had shaken his head insistently, had looked at him as if he was a lost cause.

“No, hyung. You don’t understand. I really don’t think I could li—“ Woohyun abruptly halted his sentence as he gazed at the elder male.

“Could?” Sunggyu asked with a brief raise of eyebrows, but the younger had only shaken his head again and breathed out shakily.

“No, nothing, hyung. I – I just don’t think I’ll be able to make the, the guilt go away so.” He told him instead and oddly, Sunggyu knew that was not what the other had meant to say, but he also knew that that will be all that he got from the other so he just nodded his head pliantly.

“Right, so the guilt will stay for a while, of course that’s bound to happen. But I’m sure it’ll fade with time. Time always heal, remember?” He said, had said them so gingerly because he didn’t want to hurt the other’s feeling. Woohyun hadn’t exactly looked convinced at his words but the curt nod of his head and that weak curl of his smile was already enough for him to know that he was at least heard.

Then, unexpectedly—because Sunggyu hadn’t expected it at all— the conversation somehow took to a different turn when Woohyun had asked,

“Is it still hard, hyung?” His voice was a little timid then, but his eyes were imploring, searching into Sunggyu’s gaze, looking for his own answer deep within them. And Sunggyu’s brows immediately joined to form a confused frown at the question.

“Hard what?” He’d asked back.

“Is it still hard seeing my face?” He finally asked fully and suddenly, Sunggyu could hear the echoes of his own words in his head as he recalled what he had once said.

            “ _Why can't you understand that right now, seeing your face was the last thing I wanted?”_ It rung.

“Does the scar on your eye still hurt?” Woohyun had added when Sunggyu hadn’t answered, his thumb already caressing the scar tenderly, stared at it intensely. And Sunggyu could hear it all over again then.

 _“Why can't you see that every time I see you, the scar on my eye hurts so very much?”_ He recalled.

 _God,_ Woohyun still remembered his words – those words that he’d once said in the haze of his breakdown. Sure, he knew he had meant the words when he’d said them before, but that was _then_. Sunggyu knew it was different now, _very_ different. And he knew he had to tell that, had to convey that to the other, so he tried to do just that.

“Woohyun,” he had called softly, staring back into those hesitant orbs.

“You know, I don’t really think I’ll be able to forget what had happened then _ever_ ,” Sunggyu spoke, ingesting the way the other had almost flinched at his words so he took the other’s hand into his own to comfort the other.

“That accident was just the biggest, too big of a turning point of my life for me to just forget. I lost half my vision then, and not being able to see half of what I was used to, was so difficult, Woohyun, _still_ difficult. And that wasn’t the only thing I’ve lost. The Eye, the one gift I’ve had since I was a child, was lost too in that accident. God knows how hard it is not being able to see further into the future, to feel so uncertain about them.”

“I know I had put all the blame on you before, had hated you so very bad, but Woohyun, that was just me being stupid, being blind. I know I said that I didn’t want to see you before, I remember saying that this scar used to hurt whenever I see you. But right now?” Sunggyu gripped the other male’s hand a little stronger, had wished that he would forget those things he’d once said, had wanted to show him of what he felt _now_ instead. So he did just that.

“Right now, the first thing I wanted to see every morning is you, Woohyun. Right now, the scar on my eye still hurts sometimes, but I think, now, it hurts even less every time I see you. I don’t know why, or how it changed, but right now, there’s nothing that I want to change. Right now, I’m just happy, just happy and _content_ being with _you_.” Sunggyu shifted closer as he gazed deep into those eyes.

“ _You_ helped me move on. I’m moving on with my new life, Woohyun.” And Woohyun, Woohyun was rendered speechless as he listened. He wasn’t even able to form any coherent thoughts when he stuttered out messy words.

“Sunggyu, I, that’s, wow, I, I don’t know what to say, I–“ he tried responding back, tried but was probably a little too overwhelmed with the whole thing that it turned out disastrous and Sunggyu just had to interject with a kind smile.

“You don’t have to say anything back. I, I just wanted to tell you this. I wanted you to know because you deserve it. You’ve been nothing but nice to me these past months so, I—” Sunggyu didn’t even get to finish his sentence when Woohyun had already pulled him into his own arms and tightly huddled the other against his sturdy chest.

“ _Thank you,_ Gyu. Just, thank you.” He had mumbled then, too much feeling poured into those words and into that embrace, and Sunggyu was okay with that, more than okay because Woohyun’s hold was always so warm and so cosy, and he liked feeling safe while he was in it. Softly and gently, Sunggyu chuckled and pulled away, his palms pushing against the other’s chest while he tried to suppress a yawn.

“Yeah, it’s nice hearing your gratitude, Woohyun but I’m sleepy. You can worship me tomorrow so can we go to sleep now?” The smaller of the two asked with a cute, tiny pout and Woohyun actually guffawed as he looked at the other unbelieving.

“You’re so—aish, I can’t believe you,” he laughed a little bit more along with a light shake of head. “Anyway, it’s almost midnight now. No wonder you’re so sleepy. It’s already past the bedtime for the elderly.” Woohyun teased back and Sunggyu just nonchalantly punched the other’s shoulder for that, a pout already puffing out on his lips.

“Yah, the disrespect.” He impishly rolled his eyes at the other before they fell into a soft, rhythmic laugh.

“Anyway, there’s my sister’s room, if you’re comfortable to sleep there,” Woohyun had eventually offered, eyebrows rising higher curiously when he noticed a subtle blush creeping under the elder’s skin, suddenly seeming a little shy about something.

“Uh, actually, I was wondering if we, if we could sleep together?” Sunggyu had quietly voiced out and winced when it came out slightly wrong.

“Uh, no! Not like that. Uh, I just mean, I kinda don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m still a little–“ He quickly scrambled to clarify himself but Woohyun was already chuckling at the elder then.

“I didn’t even say anything, Hyung.” He teased, laughed a bit more when he had noticed the dust of red under the other’s skin intensified. “I get it, hyung. Come on, let’s go to my room then.” He said as he took the elder male’s hand and led the way.

It was a little awkward at first, as they laid themselves on the soft mattress side-by-side. Their bodies stiff and the space in between them a little too big that Sunggyu had nearly toppled over at the edge of the bed if Woohyun hadn’t swiftly pulled the other closer as they faced each other.

“Thanks,” Sunggyu eventually told the other as soon as he’d managed to slow down his erratic heartbeats, only barely recovered from his mini heart attack when he had almost fallen over. Woohyun had just quietly shaken his head then, his gaze on Sunggyu fond and warm as he brushed the elder’s bangs away from his eye. Sunggyu stared at Woohyun’s face and suddenly, he recalled their conversation from earlier.

“Woohyun?” His voice was low and quiet as he garnered the other’s attention. Woohyun barely hummed back as he played with the other’s hair strands.

“Do you miss your family?” Sunggyu asked and Woohyun’s eyebrows almost immediately perked at the question.

“Of course I do,” It was probably a strange question at a strange time, he knew that but Sunggyu was just happy nonetheless that Woohyun hadn’t evaded his question this time.

“Then, why did you come back to Korea alone?” He followed with another question, curiosity gnawing on his chest. Woohyun’s fingers had only barely stopped playing with his hair then but Sunggyu had already missed the feeling.

It took some time for Woohyun to answer the question, but the answer had still came and that was already extraordinary enough. He didn’t even mind that the answer he had given then was oddly vague.

“I have something really important that I wanted to do here,” he heard Woohyun answered.

“Is it like, chasing your dream?” He had asked again, wanted to see where this conversation would go as he waited for Woohyun to find the right answer. But he didn’t even have to wait when the other had replied almost soon after.

“Yeah _,_ exactly my dream.” He had said with no hesitation at all. And Sunggyu really wanted to prompt further, but he didn’t know what were the borders when it came down to Woohyun’s life, so instead of delving more into it, Sunggyu had simply asked—

“Did you succeed?” And Woohyun smiled so earnestly at his question that Sunggyu felt a tiny bit proud for being the cause of that.

“In a way, yeah, more than I can imagine, actually,” He had answered, his lips stretching wide.

“That’s really great, Woohyun.” Sunggyu told him instead.

They both had remained quiet after that, neither of them saying a word as they let the silence settle between them comfortably. Sunggyu would’ve thought that Woohyun had already fallen asleep if it weren’t for the voice that came from said male.

“Sunggyu?” he heard the other call his name, eyes closed just as Sunggyu quietly listened to him.

He hummed back a response then, had forgotten that it was mostly dark and Woohyun couldn’t possibly see his nod at that moment.

“I really wanted to thank you.” Woohyun voiced out after, and almost like an automatic response, Sunggyu peeled his eyes open and frowned at the other, didn’t matter that he couldn’t even see his expression then.

“Again?” Sunggyu had pouted, frown still marring his look before he heard a soft chuckle coming from Woohyun and he relaxed just the slightest bit.

“Yes, but not for that reason, Gyu.” The younger explained.

“Okay, good. So, what’s it for then?”

“I just wanted to thank you for saving me back then. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to thank you for that. I’m alive now because of you.” Woohyun had deftly answered and there was definitely something funny going on in his stomach then when he had heard that. He wasn’t really trying to ask for a Thank You back when he’d subconsciously decided to save the other. Heck, he didn’t even think about getting one if he were to be honest, but hearing it now and so earnest and just so sincere, Sunggyu had just suddenly felt like, _yes, it was worth it, so definitely worth it._ He didn’t even think he could feel so happy and just so content just from hearing a simple Thank You.

“I—well, yeah, okay. You’re welcomed, Woohyun. And I know I might sound repetitive with this, but I’m just going to say it again anyway. I don’t think I would’ve done it any other way actually. Even if I have the ability to turn back the time, I would’ve still saved you, Woohyun. I don’t know why I think that, but I just do. So you really don’t have to thank me because I _wanted_ to save you.” Sunggyu responded, his chest warm and pleasant as he told the other. He could feel the mattress shifted slightly then, had guessed that the younger was shifting closer, had only confirmed so when he heard Woohyun’s voice so close to him, could almost feel the warm breath that fanned against his face.

“You have no idea how much those words really mean to me, hyung. You really, _really_ have no idea.” Woohyun said, voice barely a whisper but he heard them anyway. They were too close for him not to hear them, so _so_ close.

“Well then, enlighten me,” The elder had grinned, jokingly taunting too as he rambled on. “I really don’t think my words would’ve meant that much to you. I just told you what I—“

His words were pushed back by a startled squeak when he felt soft, warm lips catching his own into a breath-taking kiss. Sunggyu could only blink his eyes then, didn’t even have the mind to close his eyes so he could relish into the kiss because he was just so, _so_ startled. For a brief moment, they had pulled away so they could breath back the air that was stolen from each other then, had only stared owlishly into Woohyun’s fond gaze in a daze before realisation finally settled into his head and he immediately felt blood rushing under the skin of his face as he blushed mad crazy.

“You really, _really_ have no idea, Gyu,”

Woohyun had repeated just as he’d swept in for another chaste kiss, then another, until Sunggyu finally relented and had actually, shyly kissed back.

“Yeah,” Sunggyu had breathed out, looking up just as fondly at the younger hovering above him. “Yeah, I really have no clue at all,” the elder had concluded with the lightest, contented smile ever, before it had disappeared just as their lips met halfway, melding into a kiss they were never going to get enough.

 

The next morning, Sunggyu had woken up feeling the lightest he’d ever been since that accident. When he’d opened his sleep-laden eyes, the first thought that formed in his head though, was that everything that happened last night was actually just a dream, a good dream at least. The Talk, the Almost Confession, and especially the Kiss—kisses actually— they all had almost seemed surreal that he might’ve believed his first thought if he hadn’t heard the soft grumble that had came from his side, if he hadn’t felt the arms wrapping around him shifting and squeezing him closer.

And Kim Sunggyu had blushed then, only then realising that both of them were honest to God cuddling all night long. It wasn’t even their first time cuddling, but _God,_ it felt even more embarrassing to know that they had cuddled willingly this time. Although Woohyun might or might not had to struggle a little bit last night just to get Sunggyu to concede and let himself be cuddled.

Only until then did it really dawn on Sunggyu that everything Last Night was very, _very_ much real. So, _so_ real and not at all a Dream kinda real. And Sunggyu realised, albeit a little late, that he was just happy, a lot happy that everything had turned out the way it did, and he just couldn’t help when a huge smile was already threatening to settle itself unto his lips.

His smile had actually, impossibly grown even wider, a blush fast to colour his cheeks when he had remembered their many, many Kisses from last night. He was smiling a little too much in fact, recalling memories of Last Night that he didn’t even realise that Woohyun was basically watching him all these while, eyes fond and deep with infatuation as he waited for the other to notice.

It was only after a brush of their lips and a loud yelp from Sunggyu later when the elder had actually found out that Woohyun was already wide-awake.

“Yah!” Sunggyu pouted then, playfully shoved at Woohyun’s shoulder as the other hovered just above him, his arms planted firmly at both sides of Sunggyu’s head. His blush could only darken as he bit on his lips, watched the way Woohyun’s eyes were gazing at him warmly and he’d already felt a little overwhelmed being woken up to such affection.

“Wait, how long have you been awake?” The elder asked suspiciously and actually squeaked when Woohyun had leaned down to press a soft kiss on his nose. Sunggyu laughed a little at that and told the other to just _“stop doing that”._ Woohyun had just grinned then, had beamed a satisfied smile as he lifted a hand and brushed some of the other’s hair strands away.

“Long enough to watch you smile stupidly, that’s for sure.” He had still teased the elder despite the tender smile that seemed to be permanently etched unto his lips.

Sunggyu’s tiny eyes expanded comically as he sputtered out nonsenses for a while. If one’s biology allowed blood to rush even more to the same area at once, Sunggyu was sure his blush would have coloured his face a deep red at this point, probably exploded too with the amount of heat that was pooling under his skin far too much for his own good.

Woohyun had only chuckled then, just enjoying the pleasant, beautiful view just beneath him early in the morning.

“Good morning, Gyu,” he finally said once Sunggyu had stopped squirming and everything felt just so domestic and so surreal that it had the elder stopped evading his eyes as he bit unto his bottom lip and gazed back up into Woohyun’s staring ones, a smile already curling at the corners of his lips then.

“Morning to you too, Woohyun.” He’d said back, warmth coursing through his body all over.

“Aww, don’t I get a pet name too now? I already call you Gyu,” Woohyun huffed out his lips, pouting petulantly and Sunggyu had to giggle a little at that.

“Why would you get a pet name now?” He creased his forehead and faked obliviousness just for the sake of teasing the other.

“But Gyu, I thought we already established this!” Woohyun whined out loud and Sunggyu wished he didn’t find out how much he had actually enjoyed seeing a whiny Woohyun.

“What? Establish what, Woohyun? I didn’t remember us coming into any agreement last night?” Sunggyu blinked his eyes innocently. _Yeap, two could play the same game_ , he thought.

“I thought our magical kisses last night already sealed the deal!” Sunggyu had almost actually snorted at the word _magical_ but he thought he would let that go just so he could tease the younger further.

“Nope, didn’t remember any deal. Did I remember a deal? Most definitely not.” Sunggyu shook his head and actually laughed out loud when Woohyun whimpered even louder, grumpily as he let his weight plopped down and buried his face into the crook of Sunggyu’s neck, nuzzling deeper as he squeezed Sunggyu in his arms.

The elder just deftly brought his hand up as he played softly with the short strands of Woohyun’s hair just by the hairline of his nape.

“Okay, okay. I definitely don’t remember any deal but I’m willing to make one now, if you want,” Sunggyu had spoken so softly that he was sure Woohyun wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t already so close to him—too close that there was barely any space left between them as the younger had him sandwiched to the bed.

Then, barely, pleasantly, he felt warm breath grazing the skin of his neck before he finally heard Woohyun quietly murmuring against his skin.

“Would you be mine then?” He asked.

And Sunggyu had to inhale a quick, sharp breath then, hadn’t exactly been prepared to hear such strong words for such a simple question. He had expected something simpler, maybe something corny or cheesy along the words like, _“would you be my boyfriend?”_ or “ _would you go out with me?”_

He definitely hadn’t expected _that_ if he were to be completely honest.

“I—that was—uh,“ Kim Sunggyu stumbled, was just so lost of words as a furious blush quickly marred his pale skin yet again.

Woohyun had only chuckled against his skin then, knew how flustered the elder was with the way he was asking. And so, tenderly, Woohyun peppered soft kisses just over the small patch of Sunggyu’s skin and held him tighter this time, encouraging. And as if in response, Sunggyu found his arm shifting back from the younger’s nape to his waist, had let his arms circled around the other as Sunggyu tried bringing them closer than they already were.

“Only if you be mine too,” Sunggyu finally, _finally_ managed to answer and he could already feel the ghost of Woohyun’s huge grin against his neck then.

“I’ve been yours since the start, Gyu. That’s no difficult task.” The younger had told him and _god_ , he didn’t actually think that the metaphor of fireworks exploding could feel so real when he had felt something akin to giddiness bursting cheerily deep within his tummy. But he felt it anyway, and he knew he was going to cherish that feeling for a long, long time.

“Okay,” He huffed out a shaky thrilled breath. “Well, I’m yours now then.” He told the younger, didn’t even regret the words he’d let out when Woohyun had shot up so abruptly, eyes gleaming so lively and lips stretching so wide as he really, really looked at the smaller male.

“Then, do I get a pet name now?” Woohyun had asked instead with a humongous grin and Sunggyu just had to bark out a laugh at that, shook his head too at how persistent the other was about getting a different name.

“Sure, but you actually had a lot of pet names if you didn’t already realise,” Sunggyu said, had nodded his head as he looked up with a cute grin. Woohyun had only blinked his eyes few times then, waiting albeit impatiently for the elder to say his much-awaited “pet name”.

“Then tell me again,” he’d urged the other and Sunggyu just had to grin mischievously now.

“Well, for starters, I already call you _Stalker_ —” Sunggyu begun, had spoke them so sweetly with a grin so sneaky that it had actually caught Woohyun off guard.

“Wha—“

“Oh, there’s more actually. Like, Creep, Pervert and _Molester_. Do you want more?” Sunggyu just blinked his eyes dangerously adorable at Woohyun’s perplexed look.

“But, Gyu! That’s—that’s not even pet names! That’s, those are just bad names!” Woohyun had whined, pouted his lips even harder before he grunted and removed himself from Sunggyu. Soon after, he had already plopped down beside him on the bed, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Aww, is my Stalker sulking now?” Sunggyu cooed at the other as he shifted onto his side, staring at the younger male’s profile with a pleased grin. Woohyun however, decided to play cold as he just huffed again and shifted just a tad bit farther.

So maybe Sunggyu had teased a little too much, but he liked the Effect it had on the other, liked this new and fresh side of Woohyun that he had never seen before, would’ve never seen if they hadn’t reached to this point actually and he absolutely loved and cherished every second of it.

“Okay, get up, Stalker. We’re going to be late to class now. Come on,” he said as he sat up, smiled a little more when he saw Woohyun unmoving, pouting even harder if that was even possible.

“Fine.” Sunggyu mumbled quietly, had only contemplated for brief seconds before he could change his mind. Resolving himself in his mind, Sunggyu decided to just _fuck it_ and immediately dived down to place a quick peck on the other’s lips. Well, at least he tried so when it had landed on the corner of his lips instead, because yeah, his half-vision be damned. The elder flushed an even darker shade of red when Woohyun had looked at him wide-eyed, had even seemed fairly amused at his missed aim.

“Shut up, don’t say anything. Now get up, Stalker. We’re late.” Sunggyu tried his best to will the dark shade away. Woohyun had complied then, hadn’t said a single word about it, but he was beaming and laughing so pleasantly when he had cradled Sunggyu’s face in his palms and placed another chaste kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Want more of that next time,” He told the other with a grin before letting go and made a mad dash into the bathroom, leaving Sunggyu amiably startled behind. The latter had only so softly brushed a finger over the area he was just kissed then, and suddenly, he just couldn’t find it in himself to hate his half-vision now, not when it had made him feel a little better, had felt a little special too. Yeah, so maybe his half-vision wasn’t so bad now.

 

Surprisingly, they had managed to make it to their first class on time just as Mr. Kang had arrived. The elder male had raised an eyebrow at them then, enquiring at their mad entry, looking dishevelled and breathless just as they skidded to a stop in front of the hall’s entry. But he only brushed it off with a shrug when he motioned them to enter first and both of them grinned apologetically as they rushed to their seats.

Three hours of endless, boring lecture later, the bell had rung and Sunggyu was just so glad that it was finally lunchtime then. But just as he thought of having lunch as soon as possible to quench his hunger, another thought had quickly flooded in.

_Sungyeol._

_His fuck-up._

_Fuck._

He had almost forgotten all about it. How could he even forget? _Ugh_. He had almost felt like ripping his hair out for even forgetting about it. He then turned to look at Woohyun whose hand had been waiting for Sunggyu’s, his cheeky grin slowly turning into a mild frown when he saw the other’s frantic look.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked gently, shifted closer as he took the elder’s hand into his own by himself.

“Sungyeol, I, I forgot about him, about my fuck-up yesterday, and I, I just— I didn’t do—“

“Hey, hey, look, calm down,” Woohyun spoke, and so softly squeezed his hand as he gazed into his eyes deeply. “I know you messed up yesterday—“

“Fucked up. I fucked up, Woohyun.”

“—I know you _messed up_ yesterday, Gyu but I’m sure Sungyeol would’ve understood. He knew you were stressed yesterday. All you need to do now is see him and talk. Explain.” Woohyun had told him, had even looked firm as he pressed on his hand tighter as if also telling him that everything’ll be fine, that he’ll be there if he needed him. And Sunggyu had to swallow down dryly, dreaded that very Talk because he understood that it would mean revealing a lot of things. He didn’t know if he was ready for that yet, but he knew he needed to fix this. Fix the things he’d fucked up and he would do anything to mend it, ready or not.

Weakly, Sunggyu had nodded his head and just let Woohyun pull him to the cafeteria. Half of him, his cowardly side, had wished that Sungyeol wouldn’t be there, but another half of him sort of hoped that he would because he couldn’t go on with anything knowing he’d hurt his best friend. As he slowly saw the dreaded cafeteria in his sight on their way there, Sunggyu had imagined all sorts of situations playing in his head. Like, Sungyeol not being there, or Sungyeol there and ignoring him like he never existed, or worse, Sungyeol there looking so angry with a possible weapon of murder, a sharp fork probably, in his tight grip. He had expected and imagined a lot of things, but the scene he was gifted with was something he could never, ever pictured at all.

Never would have he expected to see _that_ just as he had glanced sideway and outside the building, his steps coming to an abrupt halt as he pulled Woohyun along with him, jaws hung low and eyes wide as saucers.

“What? What’s wrong, Gyu?” Woohyun had asked worriedly, before he noticed that Sunggyu was staring at something. Quickly, he turned his head to look at the same direction and immediately, the younger had mirrored the elder’s reaction soon after.

“What the fuck.” Woohyun commented, disbelief evidently colouring his look then.

“Uh, are we, are we supposed to ignore that?” Sunggyu had finally managed to gather enough strength to pull himself together and asked out loud.

There Sungyeol was, in the middle of the leisure area just outside the building, actually making out with a Kim Myungsoo while other students gawked at the blatant show of affection.

Sunggyu had almost wanted to sprint there and separate them, and maybe demand a huge, immediate explanation from both of them but the thought had only remained so when everyone could hear that fucking, sneering comment.

“Fucking fag!” A voice had shouted loudly from a small crowd and Sunggyu could already feel the anger bubbling through when he had seen how Sungyeol had flinched at the words and instantly pulled away, looking frantic and embarrassed.

If Sunggyu had wanted to sprint and force an explanation from Sungyeol then, now he had only wanted to madly bulldog his way through everything and punch an apology out of that filthy mouth. But he hadn’t even the need to do that when Myungsoo himself had perked up, calm but almost thunderous with his deadly glare and growling voice.

“Dare say that again and I’ll fucking destroy your face, asshole.”

Sunggyu blinked his eyes hard at that, a little touched at the words but also a lot surprised by the huge plot twist that he most definitely did not expect.

“I’ll say it however many times you wanted then, you fucking fags.” That same, annoying voice spoke again and that was it. Sunggyu let Woohyun’s hand go and bulldozed his way through.

“You fucker—“ Myungsoo had cursed, had wanted to launch himself unto said male when Sungyeol’s hand had shot up to stop him and Sunggyu had just suddenly appeared out of nowhere to pounce on him instead.

“Gyu!”

“Wha—“

“You fucker!” He’d growled so loud as he punched the other’s nose particularly hard. He swore there was a cracking sound as the other’s nose bled red, knew that something was probably broken then, but Sunggyu didn’t actually have the heart to care, had probably felt satisfied even, say if he _did_ break something. The asshole deserved that, he _more_ than deserved that.

“You dare say anything more about my best friend and it won’t only be your nose that I break!” Sunggyu growled even louder, had barely registered the whistles that had whooped out, cheering him on. It was only when Woohyun had come and pulled him off the asshole did he realise that he had punched someone in front of a crowd but he wasn’t even mildly surprised that he couldn’t even care about that at that point.

“Fuck—you shithead! Why are you backing him up? He’s obviously a fag, making out with a guy for anyone and everyone to see. The fuck he thinks he is then? Unless you’re a fucking fag like him too.” He jeered and mocked as he wiped the blood off with the back of his hand. Sunggyu was fuming then, was ready to pounce on him again but Woohyun just firmly held him still, his voice calm and challenging as he spoke up.

“So? What if we are too?” He’d said before he had swiftly, and so suddenly held Sunggyu’s head in his hands and pulled in for a kiss. Sunggyu couldn’t exactly help the yelp of surprise he had let out when Woohyun did that out of nowhere but then again, he just couldn’t seem to care right at that moment because although it was a short kiss, it was still a kiss nonetheless and it had just left him a little breathless.

The elder had only barely heard a soft “what the fuck” coming from both Sungyeol and Myungsoo amongst the loud gasps that came from the other crowds when they both had pulled away. Woohyun just cheekily grinned at the blushing elder before he turned back to the asshole and raised an eyebrow, looking smug.

“So, did you like the show? Or do you want more for your little fantasy that will never ever come true with that assholery attitude of yours?”

“Assholer—fucker. Fucking fags.” The other spat angrily.

“If that’s all you have to say to us, I’m afraid I don’t understand why an idiot like you could be in a university as famous for only bearing the intelligent ones as this.” All three of them had actually and accidentally snorted at Woohyun’s words then, pride growing larger in his chest when that asshole could only ramble out utter nonsense in response before he had left in a fit full of anger and defeat.

“Wow, Stalker. I didn’t know you had that in you.” Sunggyu had told him with a proud smile just as he turned to look at the younger.

“I could say the same thing to you too,” Woohyun started. “Let me just say, that’s surprisingly a very good aim for you, Gyu. Don’t you think so too?” Woohyun said and smirked knowingly, waggled his eyebrows teasingly at the elder. And Sunggyu couldn’t really blame himself for furiously blushing again.

“Shut up, Stalker,” was the only retort he could think of while he rolled his eyes fondly, shoving at his shoulder too just for good measure. Woohyun laughed out loud just as he pinched the elder’s nose and Sunggyu scrunched back his nose in pretend disgust.

“Okay, ew, what the fuck. Kim Sunggyu, explain. Now.” He heard Sungyeol spoke and it pulled them out of their little world. He turned to face the other two, was just about ready to beg for forgiveness from Sungyeol but then, the look that his friend was giving him was telling him enough. Enough to know that Sungyeol probably had long forgiven him, hurt probably still there, but still forgiven anyway. So instead of repeating his train-long of apologies, Sunggyu cracked a knowing smirk.

“Yeah, ew to you too, Lee Sungyeol. Fucking explain to me. What was that blatant making out?! And with Kim Myungsoo to boot! I thought he wasn’t even gay!”

“Ew, he’s the gayest of us all, Gyu. How could you even think he’s not even remotely that?” Sungyeol scrunched his nose, quickly and cheekily stepping away when he saw Myungsoo bulging his eyes wide at him for spewing all that shit.

“Well, for starters, he stepped on your junk when—“

“Okay, stop! Let me stop you there! I do not fancy letting the whole school know about my embarrassing story.” Sungyeol held up a hand. “Okay, maybe a drunk me didn’t tell you the whole story. But I may or may not told you about the ‘before’ story.”

“What before story?”

“Uh, the story before the whole big fight. Actually, the story of what happened that night when we went celebrating for our theatrical play.”

“Okay, spill. What the fuck happen? I know something did because you guys were acting weird after that night. Wait, did you guys fuck after?”

“What? No! No, no fucking! Oh god, will you please quiet your voice down? We just kissed, probably almost made out, but Just. Kissing. Well, Myungsoo kissed me first but I kissed back, so.”

“Okay. No wonder the sexual tension. So, uh, what happen then? I mean, how’d you made up to the point of making out in the middle of the street? Geez, I don’t think I can erase the image of both of you making out now. Ew.”

“Well, after, you know, yesterday? When we, uh, fought, I kinda stormed out of the infirmary right? Apparently Myungsoo was outside waiting to come in to visit you and he heard everything so, when I came out, I didn’t notice he was there but he followed me back like a creep because he never said anything. I didn’t even realise he was following me. So when he stopped me from entering my house, I was surprised. Then, we fought, I almost punched his handsome face and then, here we are. We only made out here because we were just trying to say our goodbyes, you know but somehow, we just, yeah—“

“Ew. Sweet, but okay, ew. That’s too much corniness coming from both of you.”

“But hey, fuck you. You have some explanation to do too! What the fuck was that kiss? And that flirting? And that extra little nose pinch and even more extra nose scrunch? That’s so disgusting coming from your stone cold heart.”

Sunggyu didn’t even have the strength to blush anymore.

“Uh, yeah, that. I’ll tell you but not now.”

“Gyu!”

“We have lunch to eat! Let’s go before class start again!”

“Fine, but I wanna know the full story!”

“Whatever you want, your Highness. Now, food.” Sunggyu smiled as he pushed at his friend’s back, leading his reluctant self to back to the cafeteria.

Kim Sunggyu was just glad. He was glad he hadn’t lost his best friend, hadn’t really known what he would’ve done or be if his friend had decided to hate him because of all the shits he’d given the younger friend. He was just so, _very_ glad that it had ended well.

 

Their lunch afterwards had only fared for barely twenty minutes then because class was starting and they had to separate soon after. Sunggyu had left for his Piano lesson, Woohyun for his singing, Myungsoo for his Gym session and Sungyeol for his acting class. Kim Sunggyu had barely even noticed the time when the bell had rung, telling him that it was finally the end of day. Quickly and excitedly, he gathered the music sheets into his bag pack and hurried to leave, to meet his Stalker on his way out as they had promised prior to their class that afternoon.

He knew he had looked a little too smitten, but as soon as he had seen the younger leaning back against the wall waiting for him, Sunggyu hadn’t even bothered to hide his eagerness as he waved hugely at the other. Woohyun had noticed almost immediately so he took it to himself to walk back to Sunggyu before he swiftly took the latter’s hand into his and interlaced their fingers together.

“Home?” Woohyun had simply asked and Sunggyu had simply shaken his head. “Your home.” He had answered a little shyly and Woohyun would never say no to a shy Sunggyu. The elder had already texted Sungyeol earlier that he would be going back with Woohyun and the other had only sent back a suspicious “ _ok, &tak3 car8u and—“ _and the text had stopped there. Sunggyu wanted to ask back what he had meant with such a weird text but thought better of it when he thought of the possibility. He shivered at the image of the two of them making out.

And then, before they knew it, too immersed with their shared heat from their joint hands, they had already reached Woohyun’s front door but didn’t get to step in yet when the younger had suddenly halted their steps.

“Shit. Sorry, Gyu. I forgot I needed to pick something up from the store. Would you mind waiting inside for me? It’ll just be 15 minutes top.” He’d explained and Sunggyu had only shrugged his shoulder mindlessly then, didn’t exactly mind waiting a little bit. It wasn’t like he was rushing home anyway.

“Okay.” Sunggyu responded instead as he took the other’s key and invited himself into the house. Woohyun immediately rushed off to the store while Sunggyu had already toed his shoes off and cozied himself up on the couch in the living room.

Yet not even a minute long after, he had heard the sound of the lock being clicked open and Sunggyu frowned. He quickly stood up and went to the entryway.

“Woohyun? Did you forget to bring something with— Oh,” Sunggyu had to blink his eyes then, a little taken aback when he saw a beautiful lady struggling to come in with her huge, maroon luggage. Sunggyu didn’t even get to feel that spark of jealousy and distrust to find out that a pretty woman had a copy of Woohyun’s key when the lady had chirped out, clearing the doubts even before it could form.

“Oh, wow. Kim Sunggyu?” She asked out loud, her eyes widening a little as she stepped inside even further, left her humongous luggage behind as she stood closer to him.

“You know me?” Sunggyu asked back, eyebrows already connected into a frown then, confused.

“Of course I do! Oh god, I can’t believe Woohyun actually managed to find you! He never told us anything anymore after that!” The woman was borderline shrieking at this point, but that hadn’t been the matter that Sunggyu was concerned about.

“Wait? He talked to you about me?”

“Well, of course he did! Oh god, you’ve grown up so well! How are you doing? You look so different compared to when you were younger. In fact, you look even better now. But your eyes, I don’t think they’ve ever changed. Your eyes are still small as ever.” She had said, had cooed even as she scanned him from head to toe.

 _Okay, rude,_ Sunggyu had thought but dismissed it quickly.

“Yeah, I’m, I’m good. Well, as good as I can be. And I’m sorry, if I seem rude but I honestly don’t understand. Like, how do you know so much about me? I, I don’t think we’ve met and I don’t think I’ve ever shown Woohyun my old photos either.” Sunggyu didn’t even hide the look of confusion marring his feature then.

Yet she had only pouted, oblivious to it all.

“Yah, how could you forget about me but remember Woohyun? That is so unfair!” She whined childishly and Sunggyu could already see a faint similarity now but he was still confused nonetheless.

“Um, sorry?” Sunggyu tried and she just clucked her tongue at him.

“How could you even forget? I was your classmate first. You can’t seriously forget about me. It’s me, Chungha!” She pointed a finger at herself.

“Still didn’t ring a bell?” ‘Chungha’ had only puffed out a sigh and shook her head when Sunggyu winced a look of apology. “I’m Woohyun’s sister, the girl you once saved from drowning when we were little? Back in Jeonju? Rang a bell now?” She prompted and—

“Chungha _?_ That Chungha with the malfunctioned lifejacket and a no swimmer?” Sunggyu had clarified.

“Rude, but yes! You finally remembered!” Chungha had almost yelled and jumped a little for finally being remembered.

“Wait, you’re –“ Sunggyu deftly pressed a thumb on his throbbing temple, “you’re Woohyun’s sister?”

_What._

“Oh god, you don’t remember, do you? You don’t remember saving his life as well back then?”

“I saved his life too?”

_Why were there so many questions so suddenly?_

“Okay, maybe just figuratively saved his life then because I don’t think our mom was seriously going to kill him. But back then, our mom was pretty mad at him for causing the boat to flip over—“

“That was him?”

“Yeah, but you actually had convinced our mom not to ground him because you backed him up and told her that Woohyun only fought that other boy because he was bothering me, sort of protecting me. So yeah, you kinda saved his life too.”

“I—I didn’t know. I didn’t remember any of that actually. And he, Woohyun, he never told me any of that either.” Sunggyu could already feel the incoming headache waiting to assault him then as he massaged his own temples.

“Oh,” Chungha let out in a low mumble, a look of realisation slowly dawning on her just as she said— “Oh shit. Oh shit, Woohyun’s seriously going to kill me now,” it was probably meant to be a whisper but Sunggyu had still heard them anyway.

“Then, I guess you probably didn’t know about why he’s back here as well?” She had asked afterwards and the speed of her tone changing from cheery to almost serious then had only made Sunggyu felt wary now.

“Well, he just told me that he’s here to chase his dream.” Sunggyu supplied and Chungha very slowly nodded her head, probably had another realisation going through her mind then.

“Oh, well, that’s not wrong too. Good for you then,” she said carelessly with a tone that Sunggyu didn’t particularly like.

“Chungha, what are you hiding?” Politeness was already thrown out of his window when he had asked the question. His curiosity was killing him and he wanted to know, needed to know what else Woohyun had been hiding from him.

“If you don’t know, then I really don’t think it’s my place to say, Sunggyu,” Chungha shook her head.

“Chungha, _please_. _What_ didn’t he tell me? Or what _else_ didn’t he tell me _?_ ” Sunggyu knew he was already begging at this point, but _who cares?_ Who cares when there were so much he didn’t know about himself, about Woohyun, about _their_ past? Sunggyu definitely didn’t care now.

She had seemed hesitant at first, as if contemplating what she was about to do, but that hadn’t lasted very long when she had just barely shaken her head as she was probably throwing any hesitation out her head.

“Well, Woohyun’s only reason for returning to Korea,” she sighed, “was because of _you_ , Sunggyu.”

“Me?”

“Yes, it has _always_ been you.”

“But I don’t understand. He said it was his dream he’s chasing here and you told me it wasn’t wrong.”

“Yeah, of course it wasn’t wrong. Because his dream had always been you, Sunggyu. His dream had always been to _look for_ _you_.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise~ finally the romance and the Kiss! Anyway, comments? :)


	12. The Eye of Truth

It was only a matter of a few words and a little bit of truth. It was only those, yet they changed a lot of things, if not everything. It just changed so many things.

It made him feel too much but also nothing all at the same time; didn’t know what to feel or what to even think. All Sunggyu could hear was Chungha’s words, repeating over and over again in his head, ringing and deafening. She'd told him that they were friends, close childhood friends, but Kim Sunggyu didn't remember that. He didn't remember any of it, didn't remember Nam Woohyun being a part of his life previously. And it hurt. His head hurt, but more so his heart. 

Chungha had only waited then, keeping her silence as she watched Sunggyu’s response carefully. But his look was only blank and empty, as if his mind had stopped processing it all. Refused so, probably. 

Yet, just as the strange twist of their intertwined past had blanked him out, it was also the same Nam Woohyun who’d brought him back. The gears in his head rotating and functioning again the moment said man’s voice had pierced through the heavy silence, finally back from the store.

“Gyu, I’m home!” They both had heard the familiar voice, cheerful and unknowing as the main door pinged to unlock. Sunggyu turned, a displaced twinge of his old hatred somehow surfacing again, making a comeback when he'd seen Woohyun’s innocent smile.  _He’s being lied to,_ he’d thought.  _And just when he’d begin to trust the other too._

Woohyun’s smile though, disappeared just as fast as it had came the moment his eyes had caught sight of his sister, the sister he had missed dearly, the sister he hadn’t seen for almost a year, the sister that had came back to surprise him.

It was only supposed to be a little surprise for their missing little brother. But what they didn’t know was that the surprise that she had brought with her was even bigger than she had intended to—a surprise that's waiting to unravel the box of mystery, the one Sunggyu had long been curious about. The mystery of a Nam Woohyun.

“G-Gyu.” Woohyun had said, voice stuttering and eyes wavered in fear as he tried to gauge the situation. He glanced at his sister for a blind guess, didn’t have to wait for an answer though when Sunggyu had already given it himself when the latter had asked,

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was merely one simple question but Woohyun felt as if so many things were being asked all at the same time. And it was overloading him, didn’t know what should he even answer when Kim Sunggyu probably already heard of everything. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The elder male repeated, his brows creased into a tight knot. Woohyun blinked, swallowed down what was never there to begin with, probably just a demonstration of his tied tongue and fear.

“G-Gyu, I swear I was going to tell you but—“ He tried, but Sunggyu was just a little too impatient, anxious.

“But you didn’t. Why?” The latter asked, voice thicker than before. His eyes were intense, boring a way into Woohyun's and said male just suddenly felt vulnerable under such peeling stare. 

“It’s just a matter of time, Gyu. I just can't seem to find the right time. I’m telling the truth. I swear.“ The younger explained, had taken a few steps closer to grab the other’s hands. But Kim Sunggyu didn’t want any warmth nor comfort right then. He wanted an explanation, a decent and proper one so Sunggyu took a few steps back, guarded. And that subtle rejection was enough to hurt the other, chest throbbing painfully.

Yet, that wasn’t even the worst of it all. The worst had yet to come then, when Sunggyu himself had driven a knife through his heart, his words painful enough to ignite Woohyun’s anger.

“Time, right. So when were you going to say? When I lost another eye?” Sunggyu had spat spiteful, and Nam Woohyun felt his lips twitched, the anger simmering though yet to boil.

“Gyu, you’re misunderstanding—“ Woohyun tried. He really tried to keep his misplaced anger at bay, but how could he when the elder male kept attacking him when he wouldn’t even listen.

“I trusted you, Woohyun!” Sunggyu shouted, orbs already glossed with unshed tears that Woohyun had failed to see behind his anger-shrouded eyes.

“Was it so important to know that?!” The younger screamed back, and it caught them by surprise. Woohyun rarely gets mad, what more to the point of raising his voice. It was a rare sight that it caught Sunggyu unguarded, took him a few seconds long before he realised how ridiculous Woohyun’s question was.

“Was it so important, you asked?” Sunggyu scoffed, disbelieved. “Wooyun, we went to freaking Jeonju together and you never say a word. I knew you were acting differently then but I couldn’t ask  because I didn’t think it was my place. And now it all just made sense! We had a moment of childhood together and I couldn’t even remember! And you were asking me if it’s so important? Are you kidding with me?” Sunggyu said, voice loudly hurt and it was then when Woohyun finally noticed the tears shedding through, like a stream of water with a broken dam.

“Gyu, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—“

“No.” Sunggyu scoffed again, blindly rubbed those tears away with the hem of his sleeve. He lifted his head, downcast eyes then traded for a hard glare.

“You knew I fucking lost my eye, you knew how much I hate not knowing about the future,  _my_ future. You knew how much I’m scared of uncertainties, of the unknown. And knowing that I had one fucking childhood that I’d somehow forgotten? You freaking think that it’s not so important for me to find out?”

“Listen, Gyu—“ Woohyun desperately wanted to explain, but what else could he say? Sunggyu already knew it all. He already knew it all so why was Sunggyu asking him the one question that he’d already known the answer?

“What else are you hiding from me anyway, Woohyun?” He heard Sunggyu questioned, distrust and doubt layering the words and Woohyun couldn’t help but feel flustered.

“What?” Was all the response he could give, obviously baffled. 

“I know there’s more, Nam Woohyun. There has to be more.” The other stressed, instinct strong enough to tell that it wasn't the only secret that the younger had been hiding.

“What are you talking about? You’ve heard everything from Chungha. I don’t have anything more to hide. I swear—“ Woohyun clarified, shaking his head, eyebrows furrowing in puzzlement. 

“No, I don’t believe you. Fucking tell me if it has anything to do with me, Woohyun.” Kim Sunggyu knew he was far beyond rude, but the fury and the rage was throwing any rationality away. Kim Sunggyu just didn't have the heart to care right at that moment.

“No, I’m serious, Gyu! I don’t have anything more to hide! Everything that she told you is all there is! She already told you about our past, about my eye! What else can I hide from you?!” Woohyun replied vexed, fingers brushing through his hair and a dull throb making his head hurt. It was the brief interlude that tipped him off, a red flag waving in his mind when he saw Sunggyu's thrown look.

“W-what did you say?” The latter responded, eyelashes flattering as he let the words sink.

“Shit. You didn’t know.” The younger muttered, swiped a palm across his face frustrated.

“I didn’t know what, Woohyun?” Sunggyu repeated, waiting for the explanation.

“You didn’t tell him.” Woohyun had said instead, eyes looking over his sister before Sunggyu’s words pulled him back immediately.

“What do you mean your eye? What’s wrong with your eye?” The younger shook his head.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong, Gyu.” He said but Sunggyu wasn't going to let it go. He wanted to know the truth.

“No, you’re lying. Tell me, Woohyun. What about your eye?" He asked again, urging and insistent.

“It’s, it’s nothing, Gyu. Please, let’s just drop this topic.” Woohyun had almost begged. It wasn't supposed to go this way. It really wasn't. He wanted to explain, wanted to tell the other their painful story but not like this. Not when they were both shrouded with anger and distrust. Not when it's a story that should be told when they're ready. Just not like this. 

But it wasn't easy to do that. Not when the other just wouldn't listen, too insistent and too angry to actually listen.

“Just tell me, Woohyun!” The elder male insisted again, voice louder than before and Woohyun was just so close to snap then.

“It’s really nothing, Sunggyu!” He raised his voice.

“Then why can’t you just tell me if it’s nothing?!”

“Because I don’t know how to tell you! Okay? I don’t know how to tell you and I wanted to, but I just don’t know how! Why won’t you just understand?” His voice wavered at the end, a quiet sob followed through as he rubbed the heel of his palms over his watery eyes.

“What is it? What are you not telling me?" Sunggyu asked. "Woohyun, why is it so difficult to tell me?” The elder had begged instead, his hard tone had already softened to a morose plea.

“Then you tell me. How am I supposed to tell you?” His voice was low and weak as he spoke, eyes downcast.

Sunggyu tilted his head, frowning and waiting patiently for once. He was dying to know, whatever the secret was.

“How am I supposed to tell you that you’re not the only one with The Eye, Sunggyu? How do I tell that to you when you’ve lost yours? How do I tell you that when that Eye was a long curse to me? How, Sunggyu? Just how?" Woohyun let his thoughts out loud, tears already running down his wet cheeks.

“Wait, Sunggyu lost his Eye?” Chungha’s voice suddenly rung through the silence instead, was only left unanswered while Sunggyu’s eyes had only flattered, confused and baffled. It was a moment later when the latter finally found his voice back.

“You, Woohyun, you have, the Eye? And you never tell me?” He asked, chest constricting in a painful, dull throb.

"I--" Said male paused, only then realising just what he had spewed. Out loud. “Shit. That’s, that’s not how I’m supposed to tell you. Good grief, I fucking messed up again. Sunggyu, I—”

“And you never thought about telling me that, all these while? So you’ve been laughing at me, behind my back for being so worthless without  _it?_ You’re basically toying with me, aren’t you?” Sunggyu scoffed, bristled.

“No! No!! That’s not it! It’s not like that. Please, listen to me, Gyu. My Eye is different. It’s not the same, it’s not—“

“I’m being toyed with.” Sunggyu had laughed instead, bitter and awfully hurt.

“Please, listen to me, Gyu,”

“I’m just so fucking stupid.” He told himself, shook his head and took a step back.

“No, Gyu—“

“I’m going.”

“Wait, Gyu! You have to listen!”

“I'm fucking leaving, Woohyun. Don’t you fucking follow me. And don’t look for me either. I don’t want to see your face. Ever.” The elder male had said in between his gritted teeth, eyes glaring angrily and chest heaving shallowly as he tried holding his anger back from exploding. And with that, Sunggyu put his shoes back on and just slammed the door close. 

Not once did he turn to see if the other male was following him or not, the anger he'd felt was too suffocating for him to even think straight. His legs swung as fast as he could, only let them lead him to wherever they would bring him. All the loud noises around him was dimmed to a hazy background, the one remaining eye he had had only focused ahead, watching the street but not processing them at all. 

It was all just a blur of everything, was too clouded by anger and confusion, that he had failed to see the oncoming SUV as he crossed a mild street. His hazy, selective hearing failed to recognise a familiar shout not too far from him. He was all too vulnerable, didn't even realise that his life was once again at stake as he let his legs lead him away. 

"Sunggyu!" He'd barely heard the other, before he felt a strong, harsh tug against his arm. His brain refused to understand what it all had meant but he could feel his body being tugged and twirled around, felt familiar arms winding around him, heard a long deafening honk ringing so loud, he wondered if the sound was just that close to him. In just a few seconds, probably lesser, Kim Sunggyu felt his body glide through, his feet swept off the ground, just as a loud thud shot a sharp, stinging pain down his head to his neck.

 

Before he knew it, his whole world had turned dark.

 

And then, he was there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you read this! But yeay, here it is! Another chapter to answer (some of) your questions! 
> 
> I know, it's a little too short for such a long wait. But it's just a teaser, to tell you that I'm not abandoning this story and also just a short teaser for the upcoming long ass chapter. And a hint: it's probably the last one. (yeayyy, but it's still in the making, so)
> 
> I'd like to thank a few of my loyal readers (you know who you are). Thank you for always coming back here to comment, to encourage me to update. It's been a busy and depressing year for me, but I'm graduating soon! And writer's block sucks big time. And your comments really pushed me through! Thankyou again! 
> 
> It'd be fun if you could comment on what you think is happening! It won't be such a long wait before you'll understand. 


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